Against All Odds
by carbyfan
Summary: Long time no update! But here's the next THREE chapters! Hope you like them! ;)
1. Love At First Sight

Disclaimer - I don't own these guys yada yada yada. Rating - NC-17 Against All Odds  
  
Chapter One - Love at First Sight  
  
There was so much they needed to say. So many words unspoken. So many words that needed to be said but somehow, were left unsaid. Carter knew it. Abby knew it. If only they knew how to face the truth. It had taken so long for any sign of love to be shown. Carter's declaration, or was it really a declaration? That day, by the river, would sit with Abby forever. If only time wasn't against them. If she hadn't have been with Luka, and she hadn't of been so confused then maybe things would be different now. But what faced them was a long life of loneliness. Or so they thought.  
  
It had taken a long, hot, and stressful day at the ER to make them face up to the truth. And what was the truth? That they loved each other. That was the truth. It was always Carter's first move that made them realise what they felt for each other. But Abby was glad he did it this time. If he hadn't she would have. Their first kiss was tense. More tense than either had ever dreamed it would be. And trust me, they had both thought about it, enough times that it wasn't even a dream anymore, it was more like a routine. The second kiss was more passionate. Their hearts still beat as fast as they had been during the first kiss, but somehow this time it felt more relaxed, but at the same time it was filled with emotion. Carter knew how he felt, but how did she feel? He needed to know. He wanted to know. She knew. She did love him. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to show him. But how? This was how.  
  
The kiss lasted a few seconds. But to Carter, it didn't seem like long enough. To Abby, it seemed just right. What they were feeling at that moment could never be put into words. Carter and Abby both pulled away from the kiss as if it was automatic. They both knew it was time to stop, and take a look at what had just happened. He opened his eyes immediately, and her taste still lingered on his lips. She pulled back slowly, still eyes shut, slowly opening to see Carter standing before her staring directly into her eyes. This was it. The moment she had waited for and dreaded for what seemed like an eternity. She waited for him to speak, but nothing. What was he thinking?  
  
"That was...nice." She said, hesitantly.  
  
"Nice?" He replied, a little taken aback.  
  
"Okay it was more than nice."  
  
"That's more like it."  
  
"So..Dr Carter..what do you suggest we do now?"  
  
She smiled at him, he could see in her eyes she was glad it happened. A smile played upon his lips as he began to think about what had just happened.  
  
"Well Nurse Lockhart, I think it would be an idea to take a shower when we get out of here..you don't smell that fresh!"  
  
She stepped away quickly and slapped him playfully on the arm.  
  
"Well neither do you as it goes!"  
  
They both laughed a little then it was silent again. They stared into each others eyes once more. The love they felt for one another was seen in each other as they continued their staring contest. Carter took a small step towards her, and she did the same. They leaned into another kiss, just as Dr Lewis tapped on the window. They stopped millimetres apart and jumped back, looking embarrassed.  
  
"Hey Susan!" Carter said, surprised.  
  
"You two okay in there?!" Susan giggled to herself. "Busted!" She thought.  
  
"Just great thanks!" Abby replied, trying to hide her embarrassment.  
  
"That's good. We've just had confirmation so you two can get the hell outta here..that's if you want to!" She laughed, and turned to walk away.  
  
"Do you think she saw anything?!" Carter said, worriedly.  
  
"Of course she did! What do you think she was smiling at?!"  
  
"Do you care?"  
  
"Not really. Do you?"  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"Well then it doesn't matter."  
  
"Nope. Well, shall we?" He said, putting his arm out. She linked arms with him as they walked out the trauma room.  
  
9pm - That night at Abby's apartment  
  
'Knock Knock'  
  
"Be right there!" Abby called as she struggled to pull up her black trousers.  
  
'Knock Knock'  
  
"I said be right there!" She shouted again.  
  
'God he's so impatient.' Abby thought as she hurried to the door.  
  
She opened it and there stood Carter in the doorway, wearing sweats and a polo shirt. Looking gorgeous as usual.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hey impatient one." She answered sarcastically as he entered the apartment closing the door slowly behind him.  
  
"Well I wouldn't be if I hadn't waited for ten minutes!"  
  
"It wasn't ten minutes. It was five."  
  
"Well there you are then!"  
  
They both smirked, and then an awkward silence fell upon them once more.  
  
"I brought you something."  
  
He pulled out a bunch of dead flowers from behind his back and handed them carefully to Abby who stood smiling at him for being so thoughtful. "Thanks John they're great."  
  
"No problem."  
  
She went and put them in a vase as he took off his coat and hung it on the back of the sofa.  
  
"So what's for dinner?"  
  
"What?! I never said I'd cook. I said we could eat."  
  
"Okay then, what are we going to eat?!"  
  
"It's on its way." She smirked as she placed the vase on the end table next to the sofa.  
  
"So what are we going to do while we wait?"  
  
Carter slowly walked towards Abby as she stood frozen to the spot. Her heart began to beat faster and she could feel her palms sweating. As he got closer she could feel his warmth surround her, his scent surrounded her, like air. His smell was like oxygen to her, she felt like she could breathe easier when he was near her. He took one more step closer to her and leaned in for another kiss. As their lips reached their closest before touching, the buzzer went.  
  
Abby pulled away and walked towards the door.  
  
"That's the pizza guy."  
  
'This was going to be a long night.' Thought Carter as he sighed.  
  
11.30pm  
  
The pizza had been eaten, the drinks had been had and the jokes had been shared. But the kiss still hadn't. Carter was getting nervous. What if it was just a one off? Or a two off if you want to get technical. What if she hadn't wanted it to happen? What if she thought it was a mistake? These thoughts swam around his mind as he suddenly realised how tired he was. He looked over at Abby who was taking another sip of juice and flicking through the channels.  
  
"Why is there never anything on at this time?" She asked irritated.  
  
He loved to watch her. Whatever she was doing, he loved it. He smiled. Her frown. Her frustration. Her sarcastic comments. Her everything. He wondered if she felt the same. Even though they had kissed, he still wasn't sure what she felt. If she felt anything at all. He awoke from his daydream as he heard a faint calling coming from a voice in the room.  
  
"Carter?! Carter!"  
  
"Huh? What?" He looked up to see Abby staring at him looking a little annoyed.  
  
"Have you been listening to me at all?!"  
  
"I'm sorry Abby I was daydreaming."  
  
"Oh yeah? About what?!" She asked curiously.  
  
"Oh nothing that would interest you." He answered hesitantly.  
  
"Try me." "Alright then. I was thinking about how you felt about me. How I felt about you. What you were thinking. Whether you regretted that kiss. If you wanted to do it again. And if you knew how beautiful you look tonight."  
  
She sat staring at him, stunned by his declaration. So he did love her then. She smiled quietly to herself. Beautiful huh?! He must not be thinking straight.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Sorry what?"  
  
"Aren't you going to answer me?"  
  
"I didn't hear the question."  
  
"Well there wasn't one really. I just want to know what I was thinking."  
  
She looked down. She was embarrassed by his comments. He waited for an answer. But nothing came. He sighed. She didn't feel the same. He had known all along really, but chose to ignore it hoping that somehow she would suddenly start to love him.  
  
"I better be going. I need to catch up on some sleep! I guess we both do."  
  
He stood up to leave and leaned over to get his coat. He put it on and headed for the door, with Abby still motionless on the sofa.  
  
"Carter wait!"  
  
She said quickly whilst rushing over to stop him leave. He turned around to face her.  
  
"John don't go. Please."  
  
"Tell me what you want Abby. I need to know. Just, tell me, whatever it is you're feeling, I need to know what it is."  
  
She looked down again.  
  
"That's what I thought."  
  
He turned again, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards her as she moved him swiftly for a kiss. He didn't comprehend what was happening for a few moments, but then when he realised she was kissing him; he suddenly put his tongue into action and reciprocated immediately. They stood leaning against the door, kissing fervently until each was out of breath.  
  
"This is what I want." She whispered softly into his ear before leaning in for another kiss.  
  
After a few more moments, Carter plucked up the courage to pull away from the kiss.  
  
"Abby. You know I want you. I want us to happen, but something tells me that tonight is not right for us to do that."  
  
"To do what?"  
  
He gave a look to explain what 'what' was.  
  
"Oh. That." "Don't get me wrong, I would jump at the chance to do..that, with you, but I don't to rush us. To rush you."  
  
She stared at him for a moment, her arms still around his neck. She admired his thoughtfulness, he always thought about her feelings before his own. So sweet.  
  
"I know what you mean. I think I'm too tired for that anyway! But I don't want you to leave."  
  
"Neither do I. So what shall we do?"  
  
She looked into his eyes once more, and they recognised the need for one another that night.  
  
"Abby, I could have lost you today, and that scared me more than anything, and I'm not about to walk away if I don't get to spend the night with you."  
  
"Me neither. I'm not usually good at these situations, but right now I don't feel afraid to be with you."  
  
"Well I'm happy you feel like that. Why don't we sleep on it, and then tomorrow we can talk about what we are gonna do, about 'us'."  
  
"There's an 'us' now?!"  
  
"There's always been an 'us' Abby, you just never knew it."  
  
"I knew it John. Just ignored it."  
  
There was another pause, and Abby kissed him again lightly.  
  
"I think we need to get some rest."  
  
"I think you're right."  
  
He kissed her quickly, and they made their way to the bedroom to catch up on some much needed sleep. Clambering into bed, Abby fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. But something stopped her. She turned over to see Carter lying peacefully next to her, eyes tightly shut, and breathing slowly. She moved over closer to him and snuggled down into his body. He awoke a little to see Abby nestling into him trying to get comfortable. He lifted his arm and moved so she could fit into him and then he put his arm round her petite body protectively, and drifted off again into slumber.  
  
"I love you John." Abby whispered quietly before drifting off to sleep herself.  
  
Well that's the first chapter done. I've already posted this fic on the site but as 'katfan' but I've changed my name now! It got deleted anyway so I thought I'd posted it again cos I've done more chapters! I'd love you forever for reviews! They really help you cos it makes you think it's good (even if it's not!) Thanks guys! ;) 


	2. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

Chapter Two - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing  
  
1pm - Abby's apartment  
  
Abby stirred as she turned over to feel the sunlight filtering in through the blinds. She squinted at the warm sun shining on her pale face. It took a while for her to realise where she was, but then she felt a warm body next to her. Arms round her waist and legs intertwined. It was Carter. The one she loved. If only she could tell him how she felt. She did in a way last night, but not that he heard her, being asleep and all. She moved closer to him and kissed his cheek lightly. She leaned back and looked at his face, studying his every feature. His lips, his nose, his eyebrows, his cheeks, his everything.  
  
As she watched him, he began to stir. She was secretly glad he was starting to wake up. There was so much she wanted to tell him, to show him, to do to him. His eyes flickered open, and a smile slowly spread across his face as she opened his eyes fully to see Abby smiling at him.  
  
"Good Morning." He said as he leaned towards her for a kiss.  
  
"Hey sleepy head."  
  
"How long have you been awake?"  
  
"Oh god hours!"  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"No not really. More like five minutes. But five very long minutes!"  
  
He laughed and snuggled in closer to her to smell her, to feel her against him. It felt so good to wake up next to her. He had only imagined it before, and it hurt so much to think he could never feel it, but now, he was feeling it. And it was more than he ever imagined it would be. It was so much more.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Wanna join me?!" She said flirtatiously, with her eyebrow raised.  
  
"Really?!"  
  
She nodded in conformation.  
  
"Well in that case you try and stop me!"  
  
She shrieked as he chased her into the bathroom as she threw off her baggy t-shirt and jumped in the shower. He stood outside the shower and watched her she wriggled about in the shower waiting for him. He looked down, realising that he was about to show the woman he loved, his real self. His body. What if it wasn't what she desired? The scars troubled him. He knew he couldn't hide them forever, but something made him believe he could.  
  
"John? Are you coming in or what the waters cold without you in it."  
  
"Yeah, just..give me a minute."  
  
He turned around and sighed to himself. He wanted so much to let her see him, but it scared him half to death. Those scars, they were so ugly. He wouldn't be surprised if he repulsed her.  
  
Abby realised he was cautious. She was nervous too, but she tried not to show it, this was the man she loved and being embarrassed should be out of the question. She turned off the shower and stepped out slowly. She stood in front of him, naked, but she didn't care. He looked up at her face. He looked ashamed, this hurt her, what was wrong?  
  
"John? What's wrong? Is it.."  
  
She looked down at herself and wrapped her arms around her body.  
  
'Oh no' he thought, 'she thinks I don't find her attractive.'  
  
"No! Abby no! It's not you. Not at all. You..you're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Don't ever forget that. I mean it."  
  
"Well what is it then?"  
  
"It's nothing. It's just.." He slowly lifted his shirt to show a small part of his scar. "I don't want you to see my scars."  
  
"John. You should know already, I don't care what your body looks like. Look at me! I'm standing here in front of you and I'm not ashamed! I'm a little cold, but that doesn't matter."  
  
"I'm sorry Abby. It's just I don't want you to be..repulsed."  
  
"You could never repulse me. If you were fat, ugly, short, anything. You should know that too."  
  
She touched his chin lightly with her hand, and he lightly brushed his lips against hers.  
  
"Okay then. If you're sure."  
  
"I've never been more sure in my life."  
  
He smiled at her. She really was the most amazing person he had ever met. She reached for the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulled it up over his head to reveal a well toned torso. She marvelled in his perfection, and watched him as he slowly slid off his boxer shorts. A small gasp escaped her mouth as she saw his large..package.  
  
"Wow." She simply said.  
  
He smiled, feeling embarrassed but secretly feeling quite big headed.  
  
"I always knew there was more to you than meets the eye!"  
  
They laughed a little and clambered into the shower quickly as Abby was getting colder by the second. They washed each other, their backs, their stomachs, their legs, their arms, their faces. He massaged her neck and shoulders as she rubbed his back with her arms wrapped around him behind her. She massaged shampoo into his scalp, herbal scents rose from his hair as she continued. This was the best shower either of them had ever experienced. He turned her round after giving her another massage and planted a kiss on her lips. It took her by surprise, but soon she sunk into it, feeling more and more relaxed as it carried on. She leant into him slowly, and he felt her smooth but toned breasts press against his upper chest. He tried hard not to let his arousal become apparent, but it was too hard. She felt it rise up and press hard against her leg, and a small smile spread across her face. He felt her smile, and dropped his head to cover up his embarrassment.  
  
"What's the matter John?! Something up?" She asked sarcastically.  
  
"No nothing. Well something, but nothing to worry about." He returned, giving her a spine tingling kiss again.  
  
She sunk into him once more, forgetting about his arousal as hers rose for the first time. He didn't want to take things too fast, that's why he was embarrassed about his little conformation of excitement. He carried on kissing her as they stood in an embrace underneath the warm shower beating down on them. They wished they didn't have to stop ever, but the water began to get cooler, they could feel it, so grudgingly they got out the shower and dried each other off.  
  
What to do now? Abby had some ideas. But did he feel the same? Maybe that was obvious already, but she didn't want to take his advances the wrong way.  
  
"Drink?"  
  
"Sure why not."  
  
He followed her into the kitchen as she set about boiling the water. He stood leaning against the counter, just watching her. Just watching. That's what he loved to do sometimes. Just watch. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he knew he would never tire of it. He still wondered if she knew how beautiful she was, probably not. But it didn't hurt telling her one in a while. He told himself to remember to do that once in a while. He also wondered whether she would ever love him. If he would ever bring himself to say, knowing she wouldn't say it back. Maybe she could grow to love him. Just maybe.  
  
"Here you go."  
  
She handed him a cup of coffee and he took a small sip before placing it onto the counter. She continued to take little sips, as he began to watch her once more.  
  
"What? Do I have something on my face?"  
  
"You're so beautiful you know that?"  
  
"Well no, but I guess you do!"  
  
"Damn right I do."  
  
"I think you should tell me more so I do know it." She said playfully.  
  
"I plan to do that thank you."  
  
She placed her half empty mug on the edge, and looked around her. What now?  
  
"So..what shall we do today?"  
  
"We?!" He asked, pretending to sound surprised,  
  
"Yes John, WE."  
  
"Well..I can think of a few things, but they can wait till later."  
  
"What things?" She asked curiously.  
  
"You'll just have to wait and see! There was one other thing I wanted to do today actually. That's if you're not busy."  
  
"Well actually I am."  
  
"You are?"  
  
"Yeah I was planning to spend the day with a handsome doctor, you might know him. Goes by the name of John, John Carter. Ring any bells?!"  
  
"Yeah I know him a little bit. I think a meeting could be arranged."  
  
He walked over to her and kissed her again, the same passion was apparent, as apparent as it was during their first kiss. It felt like it would never leave.  
  
"What did you have planned then?"  
  
"Well, my apartment is looking kinda sad recently, I just wanted to have a look around, see if there were any furnishings or decoration I like. I'm kinda sick of having the same wallpaper for over six years. It's getting old!"  
  
"I should think so too. I can't believe you've had that for so long!"  
  
"Trust me, I have."  
  
"Well we better get going then. We've only got a few hours till the mall closes."  
  
They finished off their coffees and went to get dressed. Half an hour later they were in Carter's jeep on their way to the furnishings store.  
  
Well there it is, the second chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Please RnR guys I really appreciate your support! Abby ;) 


	3. Hanging By A Moment

Chapter Three - Hanging By a Moment  
  
Four hours and three malls later, John and Abby were struggling to carry all John's new things back to the car. He had spent more money than Abby had in her entire life! A new set of furniture for the lounge, a new dining table and chairs, a new bathroom had been ordered, a new desk and bookshelf, and most importantly, a new bed. All these things had been ordered and should all be arriving by the weekend. Carter was carrying bags of wallpaper and tins of paint, while Abby carried small decorations like candles, which had been chosen by her, a lamp and a new kettle.  
  
"I think you bought enough to last you a lifetime John."  
  
"As long as you're there for it then I don't mind."  
  
"I'm sure I can arrange that, let me check my diary though."  
  
He smirked at her, and leaned over to give her a quick kiss before reaching into his pocket for the keys. They had gotten to the car and Abby waited patiently for him to unlock it. They carefully loaded all the stuff into the boot and climbed into the car. It was now gone eight in the evening and Abby was getting a little tired.  
  
"I'm gonna take you home, then head back to mine just to drop off this stuff then come back for you okay?"  
  
"Why can't I just come back with you now?"  
  
"Because..."  
  
"Because what?"  
  
"Just because." He said smiling to himself.  
  
'What was he up to?' Abby thought as he drove her back to her apartment.  
  
"Here we are. I'll be back to get you in half an hour okay? Make sure you're ready."  
  
"I still don't see why I can't come now."  
  
"You will. See you in a bit Abby."  
  
She shut the door and mouthed 'bye' before he drove off down the street. 'Curious, very curious.'  
  
9pm - Abby's apartment  
  
'Knock Knock'  
  
Abby ran to the door and opened it almost immediately.  
  
"Decided not to make me wait this time huh?!"  
  
"Yeah only cos I wanna know what you're up to."  
  
"Ahhh all will be revealed shortly my sweet."  
  
"I don't trust you!"  
  
"Oh I'm hurt. You ready?"  
  
"As I'll ever be!"  
  
He stood back for her to walk past and swiftly closed the door behind him. As they got in the car Abby's favourite tune was playing on the radio already half way through.  
  
I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held on to I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you  
  
"I love this song" Abby said as she hummed along.  
  
"You do? I got their album the other day, it's pretty good."  
  
"Really? I may have to borrow it sometime!"  
  
"If I let you that is."  
  
"You better."  
  
"Anything for you." He smiled at her and she glared back, but couldn't pretend to be angry anymore and a smile spread across her face.  
  
"Well we're here."  
  
Carter unbuckled his seatbelt and got out the car. He walked round to Abby's side and opened her door waiting for her to get out. She didn't move.  
  
"Are you coming in or what?"  
  
"Um..yeah yeah."  
  
She cautiously got out, leaving Carter feeling slightly worried.  
  
"You okay? You seem a little..jumpy."  
  
"Just nervous."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
Abby just gave him a simple look that told him why. He stopped walking and pulled her towards him, with his arms around her waist staring into her eyes.  
  
"Abby, I'm nervous too, but I don't let it bother me because I know it's something I want to do, and hopefully what you want to do, and that we have waited long enough. Well at least I have anyway!" "You're right. I know you're right. It just scares me a little. I'm losing your friendship and what if we break up? It will be beyond fixing if we do this."  
  
"What makes you think we are gonna break up? Well not for at least a day, I intend to stay for the whole night if that's okay."  
  
"That sounds like a plan!"  
  
They laughed together and Carter gave her one quick kiss as he led her up to his apartment. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door slowly for Abby to walk through. Abby stopped in her tracks as she saw what he had done to his apartment. Petals from dead flowers had been scattered around the whole place, on the floor, on the sofa, all around. Candles had been lit in a sort of path leading to his bedroom, and there was a familiar scent surrounding her. The place was beautiful, it was special. He had planned this, like it was her first time ever having sex, he was so thoughtful, and she loved him for it.  
  
"John! It's...it's beautiful."  
  
"You like it? It's not too much?"  
  
"It's perfect. Thank you."  
  
She leaned in to give him a kiss. He knew she was nervous already, so he made it just right for her to feel at ease. She knew he had gone to all this so she was relaxed, but was he nervous? He probably was as he was twitching like mad. Carter closed the door behind him and took Abby's coat and his and hung them on the back of the door.  
  
"Would you like a drink?"  
  
"Yeah sure. What have you got?"  
  
"Not much, I've got some sparkling cider if you want?"  
  
"Sounds great."  
  
"Sit down, make yourself comfortable."  
  
She followed his instructions and sat down on the couch, waiting for the inevitable. Her heart was beating so fast right now, faster than it ever had. Faster than when she was about to have sex with Howie Thomas off the lacrosse team, God that was bad. Talk about uncomfortable. But this was different. This time she loved him, the man she was about to have sex with, she loved. For the first time in her life she loved someone, it was a lot to take, but she was handling it, because she knew that if she let it worry her, she wouldn't be sitting here right now, she would be half way down the street running as fast as she could home.  
  
"There you go. Cider a la sparkle."  
  
"Why thank you."  
  
She took a sip and murmured her appreciation. He smiled at her and took a sip himself.  
  
"So how are you feeling now?" He asked, concerned a little that it was too much for her.  
  
"I'm..yeah I'm okay. Just a little shocked you went to so much trouble."  
  
"Nothing is too much for you Abby. It was nothing really."  
  
"It's a lot John. Nobody has ever done this for me before. Nobody. It means a lot to me."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
They finished their drinks and then silence fell upon them once more. Carter reached out for Abby's hand, and took it as he moved across to her slowly. She sat, motionless, waiting for him to make his move. What now? What if she messed up and did something wrong? Oh God, what if she wasn't any good?! He was very close to her now, almost close enough to touch lips, but not quite.  
  
"Abby, I know this is a big step for us, but I think..I know we're ready for this. But if you don't feel.."  
  
She interrupted him.  
  
"No, I am ready. It's just a big thing. For me, for us. It's..it's us, you know? I never thought we'd be doing this for real."  
  
"Me neither. I only ever..thought about it."  
  
An embarrassed smile spread across his face and he dropped his head to hide the redness that appeared.  
  
"Why Dr Carter I do believe you're blushing?!"  
  
"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"  
  
"I think it's hot in here."  
  
She smiled at him as he lifted his head again to look deeply into her eyes. He grabbed the CD remote and pressed play. Seconds later 'Hanging by a Moment' began, and Abby once more at him. She leaned in for a kiss and their lips met for the first time in what seemed like forever. He reciprocated and put his right arm around her waist. She lifted her hand to his cheek and rested the other on his neck. She then moved her arms to around his neck pulling him closer as they lay back onto the couch. He lay on top of her, kissing her feverishly, not ever wanting to stop.  
  
"I think we need to move to somewhere more comfortable."  
  
"You sure?" He asked, not wanting to rush her. He started to think it was rude of him to prepare this, assuming that she wanted to sleep with him.  
  
"Positive."  
  
"Alright then."  
  
He picked her up and carried her slowly to his bedroom whilst kissing her along the way. They reached the bedroom and she marvelled in his thoughtfulness once more. The bed was covered with petals and candles were lit all around the room, and soft music could be heard coming from the lounge. He placed her down and she looked around at all the little delicacies placed around the room.  
  
"John this is so sweet."  
  
"You like it then?"  
  
"I love it."  
  
She turned to look at him, she moved forward to him as he kicked the door closed with his foot. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just looked into his eyes.  
  
"I love you John."  
  
He stood glued to the spot, stunned at her words, he couldn't believe he had finally heard her say it to him. He had only imagined it in his wildest dreams.  
  
"You..you do?"  
  
"More than anything."  
  
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that!"  
  
"Oh I think I can. About as long as I've waited to say it!"  
  
"I love you too Abby. With all my heart."  
  
"I'm glad we've cleared that up John, cos I'm getting kinda bored standing here."  
  
"Oh really? Well we can soon sort that out."  
  
He picked her up and walked her across to the bed placing her carefully on it, and then climbing on next to her. What next? His heart was beating so fast he was sure she could hear it. Calm down John, just breathe and it'll be alright. Little did he know she was thinking exactly the same thing. He turned over to face her, and she turned her head to look at him. They just held each others hand for a while, when Carter leaned in for another kiss. It started off slow, but then gradually began to get faster as their urgency for one another became more apparent. He lifted himself up and put one arm over her body and leaned on it as he slowly began to undo the front of her shirt. She hung her arms round his neck as their kissing marathon continued.  
  
His skill at unbuttoning became clear as her shirt was undone within mere seconds. He quickly removed her shirt then swiftly took off his shirt as he marvelled at her toned stomach and perfect breasts. Even though it wasn't the first time he had seen her in this way, he was more aroused than before, more than he had ever been in his life. She began to move her hands up and down his front, and tugged slightly at the rim of his sweat pants. He realised her want for him to remove them so, without a seconds thought he stripped them off and was left with just his boxers.  
  
He stood in front of her, in his underwear, staring at her half naked body. He rested his knee on the edge of the bed and tucked his hands in the elastic of her trousers as she lifted her hips for him to remove her pants. She then lay on the bed in her lacy black underwear, looking more beautiful than she ever had. He didn't think that was possible, but he was wrong. He moved slowly over her and began to kiss her neck as she silently released breaths of relaxation. She felt more relaxed now, more comfortable. More comfortable than she had ever felt in bed with a man.  
  
What now? She was lying on Carter's bed, in her underwear, waiting for the inevitable. Did she pull him into her or wait for him to come to her. His kissed began to go lower and lower down her body. He reached behind her back and skilfully unclipped her bra, and it was off before she even realised it was undone. He then began to kisses around her breasts, not wanting to rush her or move too fast. He lowered down her until her reached her belly button. He kissed around it and lowered until he reached the rim of her panties. He looked up for her approval, and she nodded in confirmation.  
  
He slowly pulled them off as she lifted her hips so it was easier for them to slide off. He sat back and took in what was lying before him on his bed. Abby. Naked. Really naked. He had only ever dreamed this, and now it was a reality he thought it wasn't real. He touched her ankle, then moved up her thigh, she was real. Very real. He kissed up her legs until her reached her most private place. Without a moments thought he entered her with his tongue and began to work slowly until she reached the brink of her orgasm. He could hear her breathing become more heavy, and worked faster until he could feel she was ready for release. She called out his name, this pleased him, hearing her call him name, not Luka's, his. He hadn't felt this aroused for so long.  
  
After he finished with her there, he slowly moved up her body again, to her belly button once more, licking it inside and around. Then further up, to her breasts, he sucked at them till they were even more hard, then moving even further up to her neck, and onto her lips again. It was like they were never gone. She had missed them, but somehow she could still feel them on her. He carried on his assault on her lips till her breathing had ceased, and they stopped momentarily to stare into each others eyes.  
  
"Are you okay?" He asked, waiting for her to say it wasn't what she wanted and it was all a big mistake.  
  
She nodded in thanks for his thoughtfulness once more and kissed him again. He began to work her breasts, his hand kneading them lightly as she moaned in appreciation.  
  
"John, please."  
  
Without a seconds thought he entered her swiftly. This sudden movement caught her by surprise, but she liked it. He began slowly, the pace getting faster as he continued. She carried on moaning as they both set a rhythm together that was comfortable. After minutes of a steady pace, he slowed and then stopped to look into her eyes. She smiled weakly at him and the look in her eyes told him she wanted more. He began again, sending her off into another dimension once more.  
  
This time the beat became faster more quickly and soon they were going at such a rate it was a wonder they could continue for long. The longer it went on the closer they both came to the edge. He could hear her breathing becoming more frantic as did his. He knew it wouldn't be long before they both came over the edge. She heard his breathing also become heavier and heavier as time went by. Seconds later Abby let out a loud groan as did Carter and he collapsed on her as they slowly recovered from their climax.  
  
"That was amazing Abby."  
  
"I've had better."  
  
"Oh yeah?!"  
  
"Actually no. But it sounded good!"  
  
"Oh really.."  
  
He gave her a sly smile as he rolled over next to her and began to tickle her ribs and waist. She giggled and began screaming for him to stop. He always knew how to press the right buttons she thought, as he carried on tormenting her. After he stopped, he got out of bed quickly and went into the lounge for a moment. She wondered what he was doing, but soon he returned with a cd case and took it out the box, placing it into the cd player in the corner of his room. The music from the lounge had ceased, and within seconds the strumming of the guitar began. The Calling. Another one of her favourites. Carter always knew what music to play, and what drinks to get, and what food to order. That was one of the many things she loved about him.  
  
"I love these guys." Abby said as he climbed back into bed.  
  
"I know. What's your favourite?"  
  
"Song?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Probably..Wherever you will go, it such a great love song."  
  
"You know, that's the song I used to listen to when I was thinking about you. Hoping you were alright, hoping if you weren't you'd call me so I could make you alright."  
  
"Really?"  
  
He nodded in affirmation.  
  
"John you never told me you were such an old romantic."  
  
"There are a lot of things I haven't told you Abby. I will though. I will."  
  
"Good. Cos I'm very curious as to what else you're hiding behind that mask of yours."  
  
"Oh too much to tell Abby!"  
  
They giggled together as he planted another kiss on her lips. It was now just gone 12 midnight, and the two were feeling sleepy.  
  
"You tired?"  
  
"A little. You working tomorrow?"  
  
"No Weaver told me that we had three days off after the Lockdown. Didn't I tell you?"  
  
"Obviously not Carter otherwise I wouldn't have asked!"  
  
"Oh, well I'm sorry. I guess I forgot. Too busy thinking about you."  
  
She tilted her head up and smiled at him, but she felt her eyelids getting heavier by the second.  
  
"I'm gonna go to sleep Carter."  
  
"Me too. Goodnight Abby."  
  
"Night John."  
  
He slid down the bed a little so they were right next to each other and he moved closer, pulling her back into him and wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Yeah..I know."  
  
He smiled to himself, he always loved her playful banter.  
  
"I love you too John."  
  
There you have it! Chapter 3. Sorry about the awful sex scene but I felt it needed to be done! No more I promise! Ab ;) 


	4. Coming Out

Chapter Four - Coming Out  
  
The next two days were spent together. They shopped, they picnicked, they ate, they made love and they shared secrets and childhood stories. They were never apart. It seemed too good to be true, and it was, it really was. But the small problems would start when they returned to work. Inevitably, that day where they had to return to work arrived, and neither was looking forward to it. There were different reasons for their hesitation at not wanting to go back. Abby inside was a little worried about what Luka would say, it would just prove right his theory about the two of them, and Carter was slightly worried about what Susan had told the rest of the staff. He knew she wouldn't of cared that Abby and himself had got together, she told him to anyway! But what would the rest of the staff say? He was also kinda worried about Abby, he didn't want Luka to give Abby a hard time, which he knew was quite possible, since he blamed half their break up on him.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"As I'll ever be." Replied Abby, not sounding very sure.  
  
"Abby, listen it's gonna be okay. Just walk in their, pretend like everything's the same and you just came back the same as you left after the Lockdown."  
  
"Okay. You're right, you're right. What if I see Luka?"  
  
"Act as if nothings happened."  
  
"Yeah. Right. Sure. Okay I'm ready now."  
  
As they walked into the ambulance bay hand in hand they let go of one another's hand and Carter held back for a few moments watching Abby go inside, and then followed a couple of minutes later.  
  
"Morning Abby!" Shouted Randi from the desk.  
  
"Hey." She didn't look up and went straight into the lounge. 'Safe', she thought, until she saw Luka sitting at the table eating a doughnut.  
  
"Oh hey Abby, did you have good time off?"  
  
"Hey. Yeah it was..nice."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Oh this and that, just lounged around mostly."  
  
He smiled at her and she started to put her coat into her locker. She heard a door open then close behind her. She looked around and Luka had gone, no word of goodbye, or see you later. Weird. He's usually always polite. She returned to her locker and slammed it shut as the door opened once more. She turned around to see Carter standing in the doorway with sick all down his trousers.  
  
"Oh my god!" She said, trying to hide her laughter.  
  
"I got puked on."  
  
"I can see that! I knew you shouldn't have worn those pants, nobody likes them!"  
  
"It's not funny Abby." He said as he walked heavily into the lounge.  
  
"Alright I'm sorry. I'll go get you some scrubs. Wait here."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere."  
  
She giggled to herself as she hurried to get some scrubs. Back in the lounge, Carter began taking off his pants. He screwed them up and threw them into the bin. Just as he did that, Susan came into the lounge. "Oh hey Car.."  
  
She broke off when she saw he was wearing no pants, and stood in his shirt and boxers.  
  
"It's not what you think. I'm waiting for Abby."  
  
"So it is what I think?!"  
  
She decided to have a bit of fun with him here, see him suffer!  
  
"No..I.ahhh a patient.sick on my trousers."  
  
"Yeah I'll bet." She turned to walk out the lounge.  
  
"Susan wait! She's going to get me some scrubs."  
  
"Yeah okay Carter. Whatever!"  
  
She giggled as she walked out and left Carter stranded in his pants. Susan walked away laughing to herself when she saw Malik heading towards the lounge.  
  
"Ahhh Malik, you don't wanna go in there."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You just don't."  
  
"Come on Susan I need my stuff!"  
  
"Well go on then, but I warn you, it's not a pretty sight!"  
  
She smiled and walked away leaving Malik feeling confused. He debated on whether to go in, and decided against the idea and walked away.  
  
"One pair of scrubs comin' up!" Shouted Abby as she walked back into the lounge.  
  
Carter jumped as she came in, thinking it was somebody. He had crouched behind the table.  
  
"Carter what are you doing?"  
  
"Hiding in case I get another visitor."  
  
"Visitor?"  
  
"Yeah, in the shape of Susan. She came in and got the wrong idea."  
  
"Oh my god!" She started laughing. "I wish I had a camera!" She continued.  
  
"It's really not that funny Abby."  
  
"Oh but it is!"  
  
"Yeah so funny that she thinks I was waiting for you!"  
  
"Well you were."  
  
"Not like that. She thought we were gonna..ya know."  
  
"Well we are. Aren't we?"  
  
A worried look crossed his face, and Abby couldn't keep it in any longer. She burst out laughing and walked over to him, still in his boxers, she began to kiss him whilst still laughing.  
  
Suddenly, the lounge door swung open as Carter and Abby were kissing. They stopped and looked around to see Malik, Susan, Chuni, Gallant, Deb, Pratt and Randi all peering in looking amused.  
  
"Ahhh we were just." Said Carter stuttering.  
  
"We were just leaving. I was just leaving." Said Abby, trying to hide her embarrassment.  
  
"I see you two have definitely kissed and made up?!" Said Malik, making the rest of the group burst out laughing.  
  
Abby and Carter just stood, glued to the spot whilst the others made jokes at them.  
  
"What's going on he."  
  
Weaver pushed her way through and stopped mid sentence when she saw what the group were laughing at.  
  
"I don't really think this is the right place to be taking part in here do you Dr Carter?"  
  
"Dr Weaver we weren't doing anything."  
  
"And Abby? I thought you were a little more discreet than this."  
  
"I was. I mean I am."  
  
"I can see that." She smirked a little and turned to walk out. "Come on all of you get back to work!" She turned again to face a very embarrassed Carter and Abby. "And you two, get dressed."  
  
With that she walked away, still smirking a little, leaving Abby and Carter feeling slightly bemused.  
  
"So I guess it's out."  
  
"Yeah. You know John if you hadn't have been stupid enough to take off your pants before I got the scrubs none of this would have happened."  
  
"Well if YOU hadn't of been so long getting the scrubs then I wouldn't have been standing here for so long waiting!"  
  
"Well I couldn't just not leave you there for a while, I mean it was pretty funny!"  
  
"For you maybe. Now the whole ER has seen me in my underwear!"  
  
"Shit happens!" She started laughing again, making Carter more angry.  
  
"Abby it's really not that funny! YOU are the only one who's allowed to see me half naked!"  
  
"Only half?"  
  
"Probably not even that if you carry on laughing at me!"  
  
"Okay okay I'm sorry, I'll stop now."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Good."  
  
There was silence as Carter struggled to put on his scrub pants.  
  
"Want some help?"  
  
"No thank you! I can put on pants Abby."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him and stood waiting while he wriggled about trying unsuccessfully to put them on. He suddenly breathed a heavy sigh as he clasped his back.  
  
"John what's wrong?"  
  
"It's just my back. Hurts a little."  
  
"Would you just let me do it?!"  
  
"Fine! But I'm only letting you cos you won't accept that I don't need your help!"  
  
"Alright then. Here, put your leg in.no not there! Hold on to my shoulder..come on John hold on!"  
  
"To what?!"  
  
"My shoulder!"  
  
He did so but he didn't want to put too much pressure on her shoulder, he knew he was much heavier than her.  
  
"John you're not even leaning on me."  
  
"That's cos I don't wanna break your back as well!"  
  
"You won't! Stop being stupid and do it."  
  
He looked at her with puppy dog eyes, pleading with her to let him do it his way.  
  
"Now!"  
  
He gave in and leant on her. He got his pants on and then they sat on the sofa at opposite ends exhausted.  
  
"Why are you sitting all the way over there? I'm getting cold!"  
  
"You're the one who sat there John not me, I sat down first."  
  
"Fine I'll move then."  
  
She was pretending she was annoyed with him but inside she was still laughing at the earlier fiasco. He slid along the couch and sat next to her. She ignored him and turned her head.  
  
"Abby? Abby..what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm still pissed off Carter!"  
  
"I'm sorry. I just don't need special help."  
  
"I wasn't treating you like an old man for God's sake! I would have helped anybody in the same situation."  
  
"Even Yosh?"  
  
"Even Yosh."  
  
She turned her head and smiled at him. He smiled back and leant in for a kiss.  
  
"I guess we've come out then." Said Carter after the kiss.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How does it feel?"  
  
"It feels..it feels great!"  
  
Okay so there's chapter 4! Hope you enjoyed it guys! More reviews pease I luv em! Ab ;) 


	5. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Chapter Five - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now  
  
Days, weeks, months, they were together. Things had been..good. Better than good. They'd been great. They were more in love than ever before, and what was even better was that people at work had accepted them as a couple. It had been blatantly obvious that they would get together for some months before it happened anyway, especially to those oh-so-attentive nurses. More like the gossips. Chuni, Randi, Yosh, Lydia and Haleh had all had bets on how long it would take. Susan was gonna get in on the bet too but she figured Carter was so slow it wouldn't have happened so soon. When it did, she was happy, but surprised. She knew it would happen eventually, but Carter's timing and uneasiness at admitting his feelings for Abby made her think it would taker at least a couple more months for anything to happen. Luka, surprisingly was all for them getting together. He knew Abby had feelings for Carter for some time already, and it was obvious he shared those feelings. Hell that's half the reason he and Abby broke up, because of Carter.  
  
Abby felt, at that time like she was on cloud nine. She had actually never been this happy before, not even when she first got married to Richard. She hated him now. God she hated him. She hoped that she would never break up with Carter so she wouldn't risk hating him. Imagine that. Hating Carter. It seemed so strange. She didn't think she could ever hate somebody she loved so much. Maybe loving him so much would mean that if anything bad ever happened she would hate him even more because of the intensity of their love. It confused her a little, but she knew they would always be together, through good times and bad, but what she didn't know was that a bad time was just around the corner.  
  
Carter felt, exactly the same. It was like they were on the same level. Everything he felt, she felt. Everything he saw, she saw. Everything he meant, she meant. And everything he said, she understood. He knew they would be together forever. He didn't ever want to leave her. It was the first relationship he had ever had that he didn't spend the whole time arguing. The arguments they had were always made up after half an hour, and ended by him doing something nice like buying flowers or setting up a romantic evening. Or she would cook dinner and make his favourite as her way of saying sorry. Things were so good he couldn't put it into words. He loved her so much, he'd do anything for her and she knew it. A click of her fingers and he would come running. He guessed that was good, but sometimes it was bad when he got into trouble at work for it. Generally, he didn't mind, because he loved her, and she loved him. But would the love be there forever? He thought, indefinitely, but troubles were only days away.  
  
7.27pm - ER  
  
"Malik where's Abby?"  
  
"Trauma One. GSW to the chest, she's been in there 20 minutes."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He sped off down the corridor to trauma one and saw she was just finishing up. She walked out the trauma room and walked past the empty room Carter had hid in. As she walked past slowly rubbing her head he quickly grabbed her and pulled her inside.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Don't worry it's me!" Carter said quickly, putting her at ease at her surprise.  
  
"Damnit John I thought it was Frank."  
  
"Sorry you're stuck with me."  
  
"So it seems." She said, going in for a kiss. "We could get caught John!"  
  
"So." He carried on kissing her neck, ignoring her comment.  
  
"So we could get into trouble!"  
  
"What's better, another half an hour till the end of our shift working..or another half an hour till the end of our shift getting up to no good?!"  
  
"Still..we aren't helping anyone doing this are...Oh!"  
  
She began to enjoy his kissing and closed her eyes as they carried on making out in the pitch black exam room.  
  
8pm - ER  
  
Abby had escaped Carter's clutches momentarily and hurried to the lounge looking flustered.  
  
"Hey Abby did Carter find you?!" Shouted Malik as he saw he hurry past him.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He was looking for you earlier."  
  
"Oh, yeah thanks."  
  
"What did he want?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Only asking Abby!"  
  
"Sorry. Just some help with some sutures."  
  
"Oh right. You off now?"  
  
"Yeah. See you tomorrow."  
  
"Okay see ya."  
  
She walked off into the lounge leaving Malik feeling very confused.  
  
10pm - Abby's Apartment  
  
Abby and Carter lay in bed. Abby stared at the ceiling with her and Carter's hands intertwining.  
  
"You know you've got more stuff here than at your place."  
  
"Yeah. I think you need an extra few rooms for it all!"  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, you know if you didn't want then you don't ha.." He interrupted her.  
  
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?!" He said excitedly.  
  
"What do you think I'm saying John?!" She looked at him smiling.  
  
"You wanna move in together?!"  
  
"If it's not too much hassle."  
  
"Why would it be hassle?"  
  
"I dunno, I'm just trying to put you off cos I've changed my mind!"  
  
"Too much for you to live with am I?"  
  
"I don't know yet. But I guess I should find out."  
  
"Well I'm living here most of the time anyway."  
  
"I suppose. So what do you think?"  
  
"I think..I think it's a great idea!"  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Abby do you honestly think I would pass up the chance to live with the beautiful woman in the world?!"  
  
"Well I am a pretty good room mate."  
  
"You're not just my room mate Abby and you know it!"  
  
"I guess. If I really have to..!"  
  
"Yes you do!" They fell about laughing together.  
  
"Great. It's settled then! So which apartment are we gonna live in? Mine or yours?"  
  
"I was thinking more of getting a new place."  
  
"Are you sure?!"  
  
"If I wasn't, I wouldn't say it."  
  
"This is great! You know, if somebody told me last year, a year from now you're gonna be buying a new house with Abby and have been goin' out for 7 months I would never believe them."  
  
"House?"  
  
"Yeah. What do you think?"  
  
"Don't you think it's a bit expensive?"  
  
"Abby don't worry about the money, just worry about how you're gonna serve me in our future palace!"  
  
"Oh no mister YOU are gonna be serving ME!"  
  
"Oh what a surprise!"  
  
"That's more like it John. I think you need a bit more training before we start to think about moving."  
  
"Training?"  
  
"Yeah so you know exactly how to tend to my every need!"  
  
He laughed and nodded his head. Knowing that it was true that all she had to do was click her fingers and he'd come running. He didn't need anymore training!  
  
"I don't think I need anymore actually, it hasn't taken you long to get this far!"  
  
"You're probably right."  
  
"Probably." He smiled at her and they laughed again.  
  
"So when shall we start looking?"  
  
"When's your next day off?"  
  
"Thursday. You?"  
  
"Same."  
  
"I think Weaver plans our days off together now!"  
  
"I know I asked her to."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Living with the head of the ER for a while does have its advantages!"  
  
"I can see that, what next John dinner for two in the lounge?!"  
  
"I wouldn't go that far. It was fun living with her though. For a while."  
  
"A while?"  
  
"Yeah she got kinda crabby sometimes."  
  
"Oh you do surprise me!"  
  
"I thought it would."  
  
"So we can look on Thursday then?"  
  
"Sure. What sort of size do you want?"  
  
"Me? I'm not sure. Not too big. Not too small. I didn't think we'd be looking for a house though so I have no idea!"  
  
"I'm sure it'll come to us."  
  
They felt like nothing could stop them, but tiredness struck and soon they were asleep in each others arms, ready, or so they thought, to face the day ahead of them.  
  
So far so good eh?!! You it won't be..it's a carby! RnR guys thanks a lot! You're the best! ;) 


	6. With Or Without You

Chapter Six - With or Without You  
  
8pm - Ambulance Bay  
  
"Meet you back here at 8?"  
  
"Yeah sure. Aren't you comin' in?"  
  
"Er..yeah in a minute I just gotta go somewhere."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Nowhere you know! I'll be right back Abby."  
  
"Ok then." She said curiously wanting to see what he was up to.  
  
He kissed her quickly and walked off out of the ambulance bay, as Abby turned and walked into the ER.  
  
"Abby!"  
  
"Dr. Weaver?"  
  
"Where's Carter?"  
  
"Um..he's just on his way, he went to get some coffee."  
  
"He's supposed to set an example for the other residents. He'll be in trouble later Abby."  
  
She walked away leaving Abby slightly annoyed. Who was she to shout at her?! She wasn't Carter! It wasn't her fault he was off gallivanting somewhere she didn't know! The cheek. Next time she'll give Weaver a piece of her mind.  
  
2 hours later - Lounge Area  
  
Carter walked into the lounge to find Abby flicking through a magazine quickly, looking a little pissed off.  
  
"Abby what's wrong?"  
  
"Where the hell have you been?!" She said loudly as she slammed the magazine on the table and got up to walk towards him.  
  
"I've been here ages!"  
  
"Really? Well I haven't seen you anywhere." "You must have missed me. I've been helping a little girl in curtain 3 for a while, she had a rubber stuck up her nose!"  
  
"Yeah okay."  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"I'm just a bit pissed that's all."  
  
"Why? What's happened?"  
  
"Weaver had a go at me cos you weren't here, like it's my fault!"  
  
"Well it is!"  
  
"How is it?"  
  
"Cos I was out getting something for you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's for me to know and you to find out!"  
  
"Oh John don't do this to me!"  
  
"I'm sorry Abby but I can't tell you right now."  
  
"But.." She was interrupted by Gallant poking his head around the door.  
  
"Dr. Carter we've got 3 traumas coming in, one stab wound to the chest and 2 minors."  
  
"Okay thanks!" He shouted as Gallant left again. "I'll talk to you later okay?"  
  
"Yeah whatever."  
  
"Abby don't be like that. I promise, all will be revealed!"  
  
He kissed her head and walked out the room, leaving Abby curious once more. What is he hiding? Just then, Luka came into the lounge and smiled as he saw Abby standing with her arms folded, looking thoughtful.  
  
"Hey Abby." No answer. "Abby?"  
  
"Sorry what?"  
  
"I said hi."  
  
"Oh hey."  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"You just seem a little..annoyed?"  
  
"No it's nothing. It's just that Carter..you don't wanna hear this."  
  
"No it's fine really. I want to help."  
  
"I don't really need help it's just..he's keeping a secret from me and then Weaver had a go at me because of him and it's just wound me up a bit. I guess I'm overreacting."  
  
"No you're not. It's fine for you to be angry Abby. You're human."  
  
"Gee thanks!"  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"It's no problem really."  
  
He walked over and put his arm round her shoulder, reassuring her that it was all okay. He leaned and kissed the side of her head, just as Carter stormed in looking annoyed. He stopped in his tracks as he looked up and saw what was before him. Luka. Abby. Touching. Him with his arms round her. This can't be happening.  
  
"What's goin' on here?"  
  
"Oh I was just making sure Abby was alright."  
  
"Yeah. I can see that. I guess I'll be looking for a house without you."  
  
He gave Abby a heartbreaking look and walked out without a seconds thought.  
  
"John wait!"  
  
Too late. He was gone.  
  
She searched, and she searched, but no luck. He was nowhere to be found. She had tried all the places in the hospital she could think of, she knew he had reason to fly off the handle, it did look pretty sussed. But she knew there was really nothing in it, and Luka had no intention to try anything. Abby had noticed Luka giving Susan a few longing looks recently anyway, maybe there was something there. She told herself she would chat with Susan about it later, give her a little push and ask him for a drink, but at that moment she had bigger things to think about.  
  
It wasn't until 7pm that Abby decided it was time for another break. She had taken a few during the day, searching for Carter, but he was nowhere to be found. Not at Magoo's, by the river at their bench, at her apartment, at his. Nowhere. The only other place she could think of was on the roof. She slowly made her way upstairs, holding her breath as she slowly opened the door leading to the rooftop.  
  
She flinched as she saw his back to her, his figure shadowing on the ground, and his breath cold in the night air. It was chilly out, but she didn't care she was in her blue uniform, she carefully close the door behind her, making sure he didn't hear.  
  
"I knew you'd work it out eventually." He said, his back still turned.  
  
"How long have you been up here?"  
  
"Couple of hours."  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
"Just thinking."  
  
"About..?"  
  
"Us. This whole situation."  
  
"What situation? John there's nothing going on."  
  
"That's not what it looked like to me."  
  
"Well it looked wrong. It wasn't what it looked like."  
  
"There just seems to be a few too many excuses. It's not like I haven't seen you flirting with.." She interrupted.  
  
"Flirting?! That's a good one John."  
  
"It's true though. Good but true."  
  
"That's where you're wrong. Completely wrong. He was just making sure I was..."  
  
"Alright. Yeah I know. He's always making sure you're always 'alright'. But it just seems that it happens too often."  
  
"You're so wrong John."  
  
"Am I?!"  
  
"Yes! Don't you realise I don't love Luka? I never have and never will! When are you gonna accept that and stop looking for feelings that aren't there."  
  
"Why don't YOU stop denying feelings that are there and pretending you have feelings for me when you really don't!"  
  
"Oh my God John you are so off the mark I'm not even gonna bother with you." She turned and began to walk away.  
  
"That's it Abby walk away!"  
  
She swung around, getting more and more angry by the second.  
  
"I am NOT walking away John."  
  
"What are you doing then?"  
  
"This conversation is over. I tried to make you understand but obviously you're not going to. I guess you're searching for that virgin again now!"  
  
With that she stormed off and left Carter alone, again. He cursed himself for being so stupid. But still deep down he felt that her heart belonged to Luka. It was going to be a long night, without her.  
  
( They've broken up! I'm sorry it had to be done. Will they get together again?! Doesn't look hopeful..RnR though! Thanks! ;) 


	7. Hard To Say I'm Sorry

Chapter Seven - Hard To Say I'm Sorry  
  
It had been two weeks since they had spoken. Two long, hard weeks. Both were more miserable that they had ever been and it seemed this depression would never end. It didn't help with the staff gossiping about the break-up every five minutes. Abby knew they talked about it all the time, it seemed they didn't have anything better to do. She avoided Carter like the plague, everywhere he was, she wasn't. And vice versa, she figured. And it was true. Carter felt like the world was on his shoulders, and whenever he saw her he felt as if the world was about to end and begin at the same time. Two weeks apart felt like two centuries apart, and neither thought this hell would ever end.  
  
"Well girl I thought they were in for the long haul!" Commented Haleh as she tapped into the computer.  
  
"Me too. They were so happy too." Replied Randi.  
  
"Well I heard it was Kovac who made them split." Interrupted Yosh as he sidled in.  
  
"That wouldn't surprise me. I thought Abby was over him?!" Said Lydia.  
  
"I guess not." Came in Carter as he walked into the reception as he overheard them gossiping.  
  
The 'trusting' colleagues fell silent and looked embarrassed.  
  
"Her Carter we were just.." Stammered Randi.  
  
"Talking about things that don't concern you?"  
  
"So it's true then?" Butted in Chuni who had been silent.  
  
"So it seems." Said Carter looked sad, and then looked up trying to hide his sadness and walked away, grabbing a chart as he passed.  
  
"He's kinda upset about it isn't he?" Said Lydia as Carter had gone.  
  
"Wouldn't you be if you lost the love of your life to her ex?" Said Haleh.  
  
"I don't think I could keep it all in like him though." Observed Yosh.  
  
"You said it!" Said Lydia as she walked away back to work.  
  
Another couple of weeks passed, no change in the situation, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to work together in the trauma room, instead of easier. Carter couldn't sleep, he had thought so many times about going back to the drugs, but then him and Abby would have even less of a chance of getting back together. Abby felt the same, but both knew that if they did give in to temptation then the other would hate them even more. It was the other who'd helped them get over the problem in the first place. Abby very recently in fact, that night at the bar, he had helped her without her even asking. She had been his trusting sponsor and friend, until he abused her help. His fault again, he thought. Trust him to muck up the only good thing going on in his life.  
  
"Carter! MVA on its way. ETA four minutes!" Shouted Weaver as she poked her head round the lounge door as Carter sat at the table eating a bagel.  
  
"Be right there!" He answered back as he stuffed the rest of the bagel in his mouth and got up to leave. As he walked to the door, it swung open and there was Abby. She bustled in and quietly apologised for bumping into him. How uncomfortable was this.  
  
"That's okay." Said Carter as he watched her bunging her stuff in her locker.  
  
She turned to see him staring at her.  
  
"Is there something you want?"  
  
"Are we ever gonna talk about this?"  
  
"You said there was nothing to talk about."  
  
"Well there is. We need to talk."  
  
"John. It's too late. You've left it too late. I'm sorry."  
  
She gave him a sorryful look and walked out, he was crushed. If only he could say sorry, but it was too hard. She was the one in the wrong here. Wasn't she?  
  
4.32pm - ER - Same day  
  
"Luka! I need to talk to you for a minute!" Shouted Abby out the door as Luka walked past. Carter was standing at reception and overheard her calling. Probably arranging another date for tonight, he thought to himself, sneering as Luka walked into the room. He decided he should hear what she had to say, so he walked up to the room and stood next to the door listening intently to the conversation going on inside.  
  
(Inside the suture room)  
  
"What's up?" Asked Luka, sounding concerned.  
  
'Huh, playing the brooding caring shoulder to cry on again' Carter thought to himself.  
  
"Well, it's about yesterday."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"I've thought about what you said."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I think it's a bad idea."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"It's not you Luka, it's me."  
  
"I see."  
  
"I still love Carter."  
  
"Abby you need to tell him. I know you loved him even when we were going out, this is too important for you to just throw away."  
  
"I know. But I didn't do anything wrong. And until he understands that I don't have feelings for you anymore, then we can sort things out. But he's still jealous."  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"You and me."  
  
"But we aren't together anymore."  
  
"Yeah but he thinks I still have feelings for you."  
  
"But you don't."  
  
"No. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay Abby, I figured as much anyway. Friends?"  
  
"Friends."  
  
(Outside room)  
  
'So she doesn't love him' thought Carter. Oops.  
  
Carter can be such a dumbass sometimes. RnR guys! Thanks! ;) 


	8. Take A Look At Me Now

Chapter Eight - Take a Look at Me Now  
  
Even though he finally knew for sure how she felt about him, it had taken a few days for him to pluck up the courage to speak to her. And then when he eventually did, she didn't want to know. How could he fix this? Why was she making it so difficult? He knew how she felt, she had to know how he felt, then what's the problem? What does she want him to do?! He felt trapped. He had made his bed and now he had to lie in it, but it wasn't fair. Why was life always so crappy? Nights were spent thinking about how he could fix this mess he had created, but still nothing. Friday night came, and again he was going to be spending the night alone.  
  
Friday - 2.20pm - ER - Before his lonely evening.  
  
Carter sat in the lounge alone eating his lunchtime bagel. Ever since the break up he hadn't eaten at Doc's, too many memories. Or maybe he just didn't fancy eating alone. Either way, he didn't like it. Abby had carried on carefree, as if nothing happened. She ate over there, usually with Susan. He noticed they had become good friends in the past couple of months, he was glad she had a girlfriend she could rely on. If she needed to talk, someone who would be there when he couldn't, which was most of the time now. He wondered what they talked about, whether she spoke about him ever, what Susan replied to her occasional comments. Maybe Susan was his way of getting Abby back? His thoughts were interrupted by Kerry barging into the lounge looking frustrated.  
  
"Hey Kerry what's up?"  
  
"Damn computers system is down AGAIN."  
  
"Ahh."  
  
"I swear those things are more trouble than their worth."  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
She sighed again and headed over to the coffee machine. Carter smiled to himself, he always found slight amusement when watching Dr Weaver get annoyed. She banged away at the counter then began the conversation once more.  
  
"So how's it going?"  
  
"Um.fine?!"  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah why wouldn't it be?"  
  
"Well I..nothing it doesn't matter."  
  
"No what?"  
  
"You've just been a little withdrawn recently. Anything you wanna talk about?"  
  
"That's what shrink's are for Kerry."  
  
"I'm serious John. You know you can talk to me."  
  
"Thanks. But I'm okay, really. I just need some time to sort things out."  
  
"Okay if you're sure."  
  
She smiled and sat down on a chair and began to drink her long awaited coffee.  
  
"Isn't your break over now?"  
  
"Yeah I was just leaving."  
  
He smiled at her and got up and began to walk towards the door. Before he left, she called his attention.  
  
"And John?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"If you really wanna sort things out, show her how you feel. That's always a good one."  
  
"Right. Thanks. I'll see what I can do."  
  
He smiled appreciatively at her and silently walked out. Show her how I feel huh? But how?  
  
5.37pm - Curtain Area 3  
  
Abby was helping Susan with a patient in curtain 3, as Carter walked past and overheard their conversation.  
  
"So wanna go out and get hammered again tonight?"  
  
"Um..yeah sure why not."  
  
"Great. Where to this time?"  
  
"Oh god you choose!"  
  
"Ever heard of Buddha Lounge? Does this hurt Mr Lackey?"  
  
"A little. It's more around my belly."  
  
"No I haven't, is it new?"  
  
"Apparently. It's kinda like Lava Lounge but its got beds everywhere! How about here?"  
  
The patient shook his head.  
  
"Ooh sounds kinky. Any particular reason you wanna go there?!"  
  
"No! Well..."  
  
They both burst out laughing. So she'd been drinking again? Not good news.  
  
"Have you spoken to Carter?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Why not?"  
  
"What's the point?"  
  
"Well lot's of reasons actually!"  
  
"Like what? Like he gets insanely jealous of friendly banter. I swear if you were a guy you'd be dead right now."  
  
"Really? I know he can be bad but I don't think he means it. He never got like that with me."  
  
"Yes he did! At that sexual harassment thing!"  
  
"Only cos it involved you!"  
  
"It did not!"  
  
"Oh it so did!"  
  
"You're a nightmare you know that?!"  
  
"It's in my nature!"  
  
There was a little silence as they finished up.  
  
"Ok sir I'm gonna order a few tests and I'll be right with you in a few minutes. Don't go anywhere."  
  
They got up and walked out as Carter jumped to the side so they didn't catch him. They moved into the supplies cupboard and he continued to eaves drop. They were alone collecting some supplies.  
  
"About tonight?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I ahh, I don't think it's a good idea for me to drink."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Just trust me it's not!"  
  
"You don't like to drink much do you?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"How comes?"  
  
"Let's just say..bad experience."  
  
"I see. If I remember correctly the last time you got drunk was at the Lava Lounge!" "Yeah I know."  
  
"That's some going! How do you do it?"  
  
"I have to do it."  
  
There was a silence, he couldn't see what was going on. Abby obviously hadn't told Susan she was a drunk yet.  
  
"I'm a recovering alcoholic Susan."  
  
"Why didn't you say?"  
  
"I try not to tell everybody. Only people I trust."  
  
"I'm sorry I feel so bad about before, the drinking at Lava Lounge. I had no idea."  
  
"It's okay you weren't to know. I should have said. Only Carter knows, he saw at a meeting once."  
  
"Is that when you became friends?"  
  
"Yeah I suppose. Weird how things turn out huh?"  
  
"Tell me about it. If you could go back, and change things, so you didn't have..a problem, then do you think you and Carter would have become so close?"  
  
"I guess not. But I wouldn't change the past."  
  
"You wouldn't?!"  
  
"Not for anything. I never thought I could love someone, and them love me back. But I had that, and I feel safe knowing that I loved, and probably still love now."  
  
"That's sweet."  
  
"Yeah. Say a word and die!"  
  
"You have my word! I'm glad you told me."  
  
"Actually, me too. Felt good to get it off my chest."  
  
"Well, I know a GREAT karaoke bar down the street from me, which is alcohol free, if you fancy that?!"  
  
"Sounds...eventful!"  
  
"Oh trust me, it is!"  
  
With that Susan walked out leaving Abby to clean up after a patient had puked blood everywhere. Carter sighed to himself, quietly happy that Abby was staying off the drink. She was strong, stronger than anybody he had ever met. If only she was his. He had to think of a plan, and fast. Karaoke bar huh? Interesting. Now, what to sing...?  
  
9.46pm - Flares Karaoke Bar  
  
"I never knew you did such a good impression of Gloria Gaynor!"  
  
"Me neither!" Laughed Susan as she took another sip of her lemonade.  
  
"Right. Let's make a toast. To forgetting our lost loves, and moving on!" Announced Abby.  
  
"To forgetting and moving on!"  
  
"CHEERS!" They both said in unison.  
  
They clinked their glasses together, and took a sip, as suddenly the lights went out, and place hushed into a silent abyss.  
  
"What's going on?" Whispered Abby to Susan.  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
Suddenly, a light switched onto the centre on the stage, and there stood Carter. Abby's mouth dropped open and she sat in silence once more, staring at a very nervous looking Carter.  
  
"What is he doing?!"  
  
Abby ignored Susan's comment and continued to stare at Carter. She wondered what he was thinking, was he nervous, excited, worried she would knock him back? She had been waiting for him to sweep her off her feet, and this was it, could he do it? Then the music began. Those piano notes rang out so clearly. Then he opened his mouth to sing.  
  
'How I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace. When I'm standin' taking every breath, with you, oooh. You're the only one, who really knew me at all.  
  
How can you just walk away from me when all I can is watch you leave. Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain, we've even shared the tears. You're the only one who really knew me at all.  
  
So take a look at me now! There's an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me, just a memory of your face. Well take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space. And you comin' back to me, is against the odds, and that's what I've got to face!'  
  
He carried on, getting more and more into it. Abby's eyes welled up.  
  
'I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry! There's so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why. You're the only one, who really knew me at all.  
  
So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space. And there's nothing left here to remind me, just a memory of you face.'  
  
He moved down from the stage, and slowly walked towards her. She sat, motionless on the stool just watching, completely taken in by him. The tears were running down her face now, and she could see the real pain in his eyes. She never knew he was a good singer, but whether he was or not, he had done that for her. He continued towards her, eyes fixated on hers, then he just stood in front of her, still singing.  
  
'Now take a look at me now! Cos there's just an empty space! But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face.  
  
Take a good look at me now! Cos I'm still standing here. And you coming back to me is against all odds, It's the chance I've got to take!  
  
Take a look at me now.'  
  
There was a silence, as the spotlight still laid on him in front of her, and she still held her breath, waiting for him to say something.  
  
"Abby. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, or be jealous, but it's hard. I do trust you, with all my life but I can't stand it when another man is with you because I'm scared one day you'll wake up and realise you've made a mistake and wonder what you're doing with me, and go and find somebody worthy of you."  
  
His eyes were filled with desperation, and she felt his hurt more than ever before. He reached out and brushed a tear off her cheek, then continued.  
  
"You wanted to know where I went those few weeks ago, when I had to go somewhere before our shift. Well I think it's time for you to know."  
  
He put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a small velvet box. Abby gasped, and a huge smile spread across Susan's face. This was it. The moment of truth.  
  
"Abigail Lockhart, I love you more than I have ever loved anybody, and I would move heaven and earth to be with you for the rest of my life. Would you do me the biggest honour, of becoming my wife?"  
  
The whole place was now motionless, watching, waiting with baited breath as to Abby answer. Would she forget and forgive? Or carry on hating him for being jealous but loving him all the same? As the seconds went past, the more nervous Carter got. He stayed in the same position on his bended knee, holding the open box out to her who sat with her mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say. She knew the answer the first time they kissed, this was the man she would marry, but had things changed? No. Not really. All this time apart made her realise how much she needed him, how much she wanted him, and how much she loved him. She couldn't live a moment more without him, but he needn't know that. A simple 'yes' would do the trick.  
  
"Yes. Yes I will marry you."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
He quickly took her hand and slid the ring with the HUGE sparkling diamond onto her finger. Then he jumped up and picked up, swinging her around, almost ready to cry. He couldn't believe she said yes, after all they had been through, they were back together again, it was too good to be true.  
  
"Are you gonna leave me out of the celebrating forever or what?!" Cried Susan as the two continued canoodling.  
  
The entire place had applauded his romantic gesture, and clapped heartily for a while till the couple had finished their little scene and began hugging Susan amidst kissing one another. It had seemed like forever since they had kissed, too long for either to bear again.  
  
"Congratulations you two! Can't wait to tell them all back at work!"  
  
"Um.do you mind if we tell them? It's just they'll be gossiping unless we tell them exactly what's happening ourselves!"  
  
"Oh yeah I know! Sure, just don't forget to send me the invitation!"  
  
"We won't." Answered Carter, still staring into Abby's eyes, holding her like he had never held her before.  
  
He couldn't stop smiling, and neither could she, it was like something out of a dream. The outside world was cut out, and all they could feel, hear, or see was each other. It was like they were in a protective bubble, nothing could touch them.  
  
"Well, I hate to be a party pooper but I'm beat and I can see you two have a lot to catch up on!"  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to stay for another drink?" Asked Abby, momentarily taking her attention away from Carter.  
  
"No it's fine. Besides, I don't fancy spending the rest of the evening talking to myself! Don't stay up too late now!"  
  
"Okay we won't!" Answered Carter laughing.  
  
"See you tomorrow Susan."  
  
"Yeah see ya!"  
  
Susan left smiling to herself along the way. The long lost lovers were back together, finally Abby would be out of her depression and get a decent conversation with her without having to keep asking if she was okay, or wondering if she would ever get over him. But now she needn't, they were back together, all that was needed now was for her to get herself a boyfriend and it would be the perfect set up. Shame there weren't any decent men around. Actually, she had begun to notice Luka lot more recently, good boyfriend material? Only one way to find out!  
  
I think there's time for one big AWWWW. So they're back together. Boring boring boring. I know but it has to be done. A carby with no carby is just BORING! So who thinks Luka and Susan is a good idea? Or not? It's up to you. ;) 


	9. I've Had The Time Of My Life

Chapter Nine - I've Had The Time Of My Life  
  
7.30pm - Lounge Area  
  
It was now or never. They had been engaged for 2 months now and it was eating them up inside. Not telling anybody was really hard, but they needed to sort things out first, then people could know. They decided today was as good a time as any, so without further ado, can I please announce...  
  
"Okay you ready?"  
  
"Um.yeah, kinda. It's gonna be weird cos they don't even know we're back together."  
  
"Yeah so?! What can they do about it?!"  
  
"I spose."  
  
"Come on Abby it's gonna be fine. Trust me."  
  
"Trust you?! Ha! That's a laugh if I ever heard one!"  
  
"Hey I'm the most trustworthy person you know!"  
  
"Yeah apart from Chuni, Haleh, Yosh, Lydia...need I go on?!"  
  
"Since when did this become attack Carter day?!"  
  
"Since you decided today was the day you'd announce this huge thing in our lives. I don't wanna tell them today!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm just..worried."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Last time I announced my engagement so soon afterwards, I got divorced. I'm just worried we'll jinks it."  
  
"Abby we are not gonna jinks it. Besides, you've already jinks it."  
  
"Oh yeah how?!"  
  
"By not asking me yourself!"  
  
"That's your job."  
  
"Originally it was yours but you decided not to ask so therefore leaving me to do the dirty work!"  
  
"Dirty work?! You call asking me to marry you 'dirty work'?!"  
  
"Well..what we did afterwards was the dirty work but it was kinda..embarassing!"  
  
"You have a sick mind John. And it was not embarrassing, it was very sweet."  
  
"Yeah for you maybe. My throat is still soar."  
  
"Oh really?! You better get that seen to later, it may need to be used again if you carry on like this!"  
  
"Oh good I'm really looking forward to it!"  
  
"Come on you mean to tell me you didn't enjoy singing Phil Collins to me in front of a room full of strangers?!"  
  
"Surprisingly no I didn't! Maybe you should try it sometime!"  
  
"I think I'll pass. So are we gonna tell them or not?"  
  
"I thought you didn't want to?"  
  
"I changed my mind."  
  
"You're hard to keep up with Miss Lockhart."  
  
"Yeah? You should have a rethink about this engagement thing. I mean do you really know what you're getting yourself into?!"  
  
"Oh I have a pretty good idea."  
  
"And how does it look?"  
  
"It looks great to me!"  
  
"I'm glad cos you're not backing out now anyway. I'd miss the tea breaks with Gamma!"  
  
"Is that all this means to you?!"  
  
"Oh without a doubt! This quick 'fling' that you like to call an 'engagement'!"  
  
"Oh really?!"  
  
"Yep. Of course when we get a divorce I expect all your assets, including half the Carter wealth plus yearly payments."  
  
"Oh of course!"  
  
"Now that's settled..."  
  
She slowly moved over to him and gave him a sexy longing look, but just as she was close enough for him to feel her lips against his, she stopped and looked at her watch.  
  
"Ooh. Hate to disappoint but I have an appointment in five minutes."  
  
"Appointment?"  
  
"Yeah, a patient wanted me to..take her up to the OB."  
  
"Do you have to?! We were gonna tell everybody about the engagement!"  
  
"Unfortunately for you yes I do. But luckily for me, yes I do!"  
  
She slid off the couch and walked out the door leaving Carter feeling a little flustered, and frustrated. It was never a good time.  
  
8.05pm - Reception Area  
  
"Where the hell is Abby?!" Shouted Carter as he continued his search around the ER.  
  
"Probably up in OB. She told you she was going up there didn't she?" Answered Susan as she carried on fishing through the huge pile of charts.  
  
"God how long does it take?!"  
  
"Why don't you go up and look?"  
  
"Yeah. I think I will. You know we were supposed to be announcing that 'thing' tonight. And I can't do it when my fiancée is nowhere to be seen can I?!"  
  
"I guess not. It would be pretty hard, they'd probably just think you were making it up!"  
  
"Ha ha. I'm gonna go get her. Can you make sure Weaver doesn't leave before I get the chance to tell her?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
He smiled at her and walked off up the corridor to the lift. He pressed the number 5 button, and the doors closed. Little did he know what he was about to find...  
  
A short walk down the hall and two turnings to the left and he reached the room he'd been told 'Nurse Lockhart' was in. He thought it strange the woman gave him a funny look when he asked which room Nurse Lockhart was in with her patient, but ignored it thinking she was the weird one.  
  
He knocked on the door, and heard a "Come in!" from inside. That must have been the doctor. He wondered why the patient had been so insistent on having Abby with her, but nevertheless she was there. He slowly opened the door, and what he saw was totally unexpected.  
  
"John!" Exclaimed Abby as he stood in the doorway staring at her with the ultrasound monitor showing a small foetus.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"You're not supposed to be here."  
  
"I can see that."  
  
"Well..surprise!"  
  
She tried to stammer a laugh but it just came across as an embarrassed giggle. As if she'd been caught in the act, doing something she shouldn't be.  
  
"What's goin' on?" He asked as he slowly moved around to the other side of the bed next to her, his eyes not leaving the monitor.  
  
"Well, Dr. Carter, you're going to be a Daddy."  
  
His eyes momentarily left the monitor and looked into Abby's. A smile spread across his face and his eyes showed her how he felt. He was ecstatic.  
  
"Would you like to know the sex?"  
  
"Um..Abby?"  
  
"Yeah why not."  
  
"You're going to have..a girl. Congratulations."  
  
"A girl?! That's great!"  
  
"You think so?!" Asked Abby surprised.  
  
"Yeah! Why wouldn't it be?"  
  
"Well it's not going to be carrying on the Carter family tradition of John Truman Carter's."  
  
"Who cares about the stupid tradition you're going to have a baby!"  
  
"We're going to have a baby."  
  
"You happy?"  
  
"Extremely. You?"  
  
"Couldn't be happier."  
  
"I'm going to leave you two alone to have a talk. I'll come back in ten minutes to tidy up. And congratulations again."  
  
"Thanks a lot." Answered Abby, as the doctor walked out.  
  
"So I guess..it wouldn't be right to have an illegitimate child would it? Not in the Carter family anyway!"  
  
"What are you saying John?"  
  
"Abby. I've never been happier in my life, but I would be even more happy, if you became my wife."  
  
"Well in that case, I would be happy to become your wife."  
  
He jumped up and kissed her firmly as he put his hands around her face, cherishing the moment. They were going to become a real family. He had only ever dreamt about this, his world just couldn't get any better. They were together again, and that was all that mattered, from death till they part. It was, the time of their lives, and it couldn't get better for her either.  
  
Okay sorry it's taken so long to update but I just got a new computer in my room and I had to transfer all the work etc onto it! ;) So I'm back now..keep those reviews coming I really appreciate them! 


	10. Nothing's Changed

Chapter Ten - Nothing's Changed  
  
1pm - Abby's apartment  
  
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when one part of your life is going well, the other falls catastrophically to the ground. This was so for most people, but for her, it seemed almost definite for every small thing that went well, something really bad would tend to occur. Mostly it was Maggie, but sometimes, on the off chance she decided to take her medicine, it was something else. Very small of course. Luckily, if you look at it this way, she had Carter to help her this time. Like last time, but this time, she could show him how much she appreciated him, not just one worded answers and long looks. She could give him her true emotions, she could give everything.  
  
"John you ready?!"  
  
"Give me a minute I can't..do..up.these damn..trousers!"  
  
"Again?! I think you've put on some weight John."  
  
"Thanks for that analysis. These pants are useless."  
  
"Don't blame the pants John. It's your waistband that's the problem!"  
  
"Hey! Need I remind you that yours will shortly be expanding much bigger than mine so I'd save the jokes if I were you!"  
  
"Yeah but that's not actually my fault. It's yours."  
  
"How did you work that one out?!"  
  
"Quite easily actually. If you listened in Biology class, it takes two to create 'the miracle of life'."  
  
"I'm well aware of that thank you."  
  
"There's your proof then. You made me 'in the family way' AND you ate yourself into a chubby ageing man who can't get his pants on!"  
  
"Right that's it Abigail, you're so gonna get it!"  
  
He dropped the pants and chased after her as she darted off down the hall. The apartment wasn't huge, so there was only so many places she could have gone. He checked in the kitchen, nowhere to be seen. 'Little minx', he thought to himself smiling as he crept around the room. He was creeping quietly so he could pounce suddenly and scare the living daylights out of her. That would be funny, he thought as he continued his search. She was a damn good hider though! He silently slid into the bedroom and waited in the dark corner to see if there was any movement. He suddenly saw a foot poke out from under the bed, and so decided to pretend he hadn't seen her. He slid out the door and waited just outside. She slowly emerged from underneath the bed, and silently got up. That was his chance.  
  
"Ha! Gotcha!" He shouted as he ran into the room and grabbed her before she had a chance to run away.  
  
"Ahhh!" She squealed as he shoved her onto the bed.  
  
"You thought you could get away!"  
  
"Obviously not!"  
  
"Not now anyway!"  
  
He tickled her mercilessly until she could hardly contain herself anymore. Suddenly she let out a huge fart and he suddenly stopped and stared at her. Her face, a mask of horror and embarrassment was a near beetroot colouring, and she wanted the world to just swallow her up. She waited for him to speak his words of total disgust as she covered her face with her hands, hearing her heart beating so fast she thought it would just stop. Instead of the words of disgust, a huge smile spread across his face as he saw how embarrassed she was and burst out laughing.  
  
"Abby that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" He carried on laughing, with his head in her chest, while she took a few seconds to realise that he had reacted in this way.  
  
"John it's not funny it's disgusting!"  
  
"Oh come on Abby it's funny!"  
  
"Not for me. Do you realise how embarrassed I am?!"  
  
"Yeah but you shouldn't be. I do it all the time."  
  
"So?! You're a man, which means you are allowed to burp and fart all you want! Lady's, are not. It's not polite for women to fart and burp all the time!"  
  
"Abby this is me, I'm not gonna care if you burped, farted, sneezed and coughed at the same time, you'd still look cute."  
  
"Now I know you're lying!"  
  
"I am not! Would I lie to you?"  
  
"Probably not. But if you had to, you so would!"  
  
"Only for your sake, but you'd eventually find out in the end anyway!"  
  
"Eventually!"  
  
He smiled at her again and kissed her passionately. Their kissing continued for a while until Abby looked at the clock, mid-making out and realised they had ten minutes to get to Gamma's.  
  
"John we're gonna be late!"  
  
She pushed him off her and ran into the bathroom to continue getting ready, leaving Carter a little miffed.  
  
2pm - Carter Mansion  
  
"It's lovely to see you again Abigail, it seems John has a habit of hiding you away. Are you ashamed of her John?"  
  
"No not at all!"  
  
"Well make sure you bring her round here more often, I would like to get to know my future grand daughter-in-law!"  
  
Abby and Carter's mouths dropped. How did she know they were going to get married? Carter began to stammer a sentence, making it even more obvious she was right!  
  
"What makes you think we are getting married Gamma?"  
  
"Oh it's the look people get when they have a big secret. Especially people in love. I know you better than you think John!"  
  
He gave Gamma an inquisitive look and then looked across at Abby who was trying to hide her laughter. She liked Gamma a lot, and it was nice to see somebody make Carter squirm for once.  
  
"Now my dear, would you like some more tea?"  
  
8.30pm - ER  
  
"So we're definitely telling everybody TODAY?"  
  
"Yeah. Today. When shall we do it? At the end of the shift or the beginning?"  
  
"Abby stop panicking, it's going to be fine. Trust me."  
  
"You seem to be saying that a lot recently! Is there something you're not telling me?!"  
  
"Would I?! Come on!"  
  
They left the lounge, and went straight to the admit desk, where Chen, Haleh, Yosh and Frank were standing around looking at charts and chatting about not very interesting things.  
  
"Um guys? Abby and I would like to announce something."  
  
They looked at Carter, and at Abby looking intrigued. What was going on?  
  
"Abby and I, we.uh.we've been.together again, for a couple of months now, and we haven't told you because there was something we needed to sort out first."  
  
By this time, Weaver, Kovac, Lewis, Lydia, Corday and Gallant had collected around the area.  
  
"What's going on here?" Asked Kerry interrupting.  
  
"Carter's making an announcement." Answered Yosh, whispering.  
  
"We came to the conclusion that, well I came to the conclusion that I couldn't live another day without Abby, so I made some sort of a romantic gesture in a bid to get her back. Luckily she wasn't thinking that day and took me back!"  
  
The small crowd laughed a little, then Carter became serious again.  
  
"I asked Abby to marry me, and she said yes."  
  
"Oh congratulations!" Said Lydia.  
  
"When's the big day?" Asked Deb.  
  
"Um.we haven't decided yet." Answered Abby.  
  
"Congratulations you two." Said Kerry, before tapping Carter on the shoulder and giving Abby a heart warming look, and silently walking away, back to work.  
  
A round of 'congratulations' and 'this is great' was heard for a couple of minutes, then the crowd slowly drifted off.  
  
"Well, I think that went well." Said Carter after everybody had gone and they had made their way to the lounge.  
  
"It did didn't it?"  
  
"I'd say so."  
  
"I don't know why I was so worried."  
  
"Maybe you were worried I'd realise I'd made a terrible mistake and drop out!" Answered Carter sarcastically.  
  
"You dare!" She scowled back playfully.  
  
"I love you, you know that?!"  
  
"Really?! I would never have known!"  
  
6pm - Next day - Abby's apartment  
  
"What do you want for dinner tonight?"  
  
"How about we go celebrate?"  
  
"Sure. Know anywhere good?"  
  
"Um, I have a few places up my sleeve."  
  
"Ooh, John Carter man of mystery."  
  
"That's me. So you wanna go now?"  
  
"Sure. Let me just get my coat."  
  
She returned with the coat, and Carter held out his hand.  
  
"Come with me if you want to live!"  
  
"Oh you are so sad!"  
  
They laughed and left the apartment. Half an hour later, the phone rang. It rang three times, then the machine clicked and Abby's voice was heard.  
  
'Hi this is Abby, I'm not here right now, so please leave a message and I'll call you back.' "Abby? Abby! Abby are you there?! It's Eric. Listen. It's Mom. I don't know where she is. I came home from work and all her stuff's gone. I've phones around everywhere but nobody's seen or heard anything. Is she with you? God knows what she's doing if she's not. Please, just call me back. My number's 0452.."  
  
The machine clicked and cut out.  
  
9.30pm - Hallway in Abby's apartment building.  
  
"You're so beautiful you know that."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"Oh yeah..."  
  
They began kissing against the door as Abby felt around in her pockets for her keys. She turned around, against Carter's moans of annoyance she wasn't facing him anymore. He continued kissing her neck as she fumbled the keys in the lock. Within seconds she had opened the door, managed to remove her coat and closed the door behind her without letting go of Carter. They carried on, standing in the middle of the apartment, as Carter's fumbling became quicker.  
  
"Somebody wants some tonight!" Exclaimed Abby as Carter continued his groping.  
  
"Tell me about it!" He mumbled through the kissing of her neck.  
  
"John I need a shower first."  
  
"Awww I prefer you dirty!"  
  
"Ewww that's gross!"  
  
"Fine. But you better come get me when you're done."  
  
"Why? What are you gonna be doing?!"  
  
"Watching 'Third Watch'."  
  
"I thought you hated that stuff."  
  
"I lied." A cheeky grin spread across his face and she laughed.  
  
She hung her coat up on the stand and walked over to the answer machine where the red light flashed urgently. She pressed play and waited patiently for it to begin.  
  
"You have one new message." Said the woman's voice strangely.  
  
'Abby? Abby! Abby are you there?!....."  
  
"Shit!" Said Abby when the message ended.  
  
Carter had walked over to her when he heard Eric's worried voice.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I don't know. Mom's decided to play a game of hide and seek."  
  
"It's okay Abby. We'll find her."  
  
"How? She could be anywhere by now. God this is sop typical of her."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Whenever something in my life goes right she has to fuck it all up again."  
  
"Abby listen. She needs help. Our help. Don't worry about it okay? Did you get Eric's number?"  
  
"No it cut out."  
  
"Well do call back."  
  
She rang back the number, and wrote the number down on the inside of her palm. She dialled the number and waited for an answer at the other end.  
  
"Hello? Eric it's Abby. No she's not here. How can you not know where she is?! You're supposed to look after her! Well you're doing a great job of it aren't you. God Eric what am I supposed to do? Fine, fine! Well if you hear anything then call me. Yeah I'm gonna ring around, see if anyone's seen her. Yeah well it's better than doing nothing!"  
  
She hung up the phone abruptly.  
  
"Asshole." She exclaimed, referring to her brother.  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"That he didn't know anything and I should start doing something for her for once instead of sitting around letting him do all the work."  
  
"Okay well that's not really helpful but it's okay. We'll find her I promise."  
  
"So where do we start? I mean she's not exactly predictable."  
  
"Call the hospital. She might have gone there first."  
  
"Why would she go there?"  
  
"She did last time. Come on Abby it's worth a try."  
  
"Fine." She picked up the receiver and dialled a number. She tapped her fingers on the side table and waited till somebody answered.  
  
"Hello? Frank it's Abby. Yeah. Have you seen my Mother? No I mean today. Okay. Well if she decides to pay you a visit then call me? Thanks."  
  
"She's not there."  
  
"Okay well that's okay. Where would she go if she cam here?"  
  
"A bar probably."  
  
"Right. What bar?"  
  
"Any."  
  
"Well let's try all of them."  
  
"All of them?! That'll take days John."  
  
"So? We aren't gonna find her sitting about here are we?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
She grabbed her coat and he took her hand as they walked to the door. He opened it swiftly and went to step out, when he saw somebody standing in front of them.  
  
"Maggie!" Exclaimed Carter.  
  
"Mom what are you doing here?!" Shouted Abby as she grabbed Maggie and tried to caution her inside.  
  
"Maggie?" Carter tried to get her attention, but she ignored them both and stared directly in front of them.  
  
"She's ignoring us on purpose. It's one of her ways of getting attention." Sighed Abby as they pulled her into the apartment and put her on the couch. Maggie gave Abby an evil look as she said this, it annoyed her when Abby talked about her as if she wasn't there.  
  
"Do you think she's hungry?" Asked Carter.  
  
"I dunno. I'll make some tea and toast." She walked off to the kitchen and left Carter sitting with Maggie.  
  
"So how are you Maggie?" Tried Carter.  
  
She ignored him again.  
  
"You know Abby and I just got back home, you almost missed us!" Tried Carter again.  
  
"I've been waiting for ages." Said Maggie finally.  
  
"You have?!" Exclaimed Carter.  
  
"Where did you go?"  
  
"Just to dinner. I thought she deserved a treat."  
  
"Oh. Was it a date?!" She suddenly became very interested in the conversation.  
  
"Um, something like that."  
  
"What happened to that Euro doctor?" She asked nosily.  
  
"They broke up." He smiled. "She wanted a real man!" He whispered near her ear.  
  
She giggled and smiled to herself, thinking how she always preferred him to the other one. He certainly was handsome, Abby always seemed to get the good ones. She wondered if he was serious about her, it upset her to see Abby hurt.  
  
"How long have you been dating?" She said, expecting him to say 'a couple of weeks' or 'a month or so'.  
  
"Um..well probably almost a year now."  
  
"Really?! She never even told me can you believe that?!"  
  
"She does have her secrets sometimes."  
  
"Tell me about it! So you think it's the real thing?!" She asked inquisitively.  
  
"I think it's a pretty safe bet."  
  
"Well I'm glad she's finally found somebody. She was always a bit of a drifter."  
  
"Yeah? Well perhaps I like drifters." He said smiling a little.  
  
"Obviously!"  
  
Abby reappeared with a tea and some toast and placed them down on the table in front of Maggie.  
  
"Mom you should eat something."  
  
"Sure." She smiled at Abby and grabbed a piece of toast.  
  
"So..what are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Is a Mother not allowed to see her daughter once in a while?!"  
  
"Yeah but not without ringing first, or telling Eric where you were going. He's worried about you."  
  
"Oh Abby I'm not a kid. I don't need to ask permission to leave the house. I feel like I'm in prison!"  
  
"Okay but you should call Eric. Just so he knows you're okay."  
  
"Fine. But I'm not going back."  
  
"Well where do you plan to stay?"  
  
"A hotel or something."  
  
"Don't be silly Maggie you can stay here." Butted in Carter. "Besides, we're looking for a new place anyway, you can help us find the perfect home."  
  
"Really?! That sounds like fun!" Answered Maggie before Abby could voice her disapproval.  
  
"But you behave yourself okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Abby gave Carter an uneasy look and got up to tidy up the lounge a little.  
  
"So how's everything?!" Asked Maggie to Abby.  
  
"Fine. Thank you for asking."  
  
"Anything I should know about?!" Continued Maggie.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Oh I don't know..how's work?"  
  
"It's fine."  
  
"And how's your love life?"  
  
"It's fine." She tried to hide a smile from spreading but gave in.  
  
"Abby?" Maggie looked at Carter and he was trying to hide the smiles. "Well I know you're moving in together you just told me."  
  
"Yeah. That's it."  
  
Carter turned around and gave Abby a pleading look. He wanted to tell Maggie they were engaged but Abby didn't want to risk her becoming excitable.  
  
"What else?! I know there's something going on cos John here can't stop smiling!"  
  
"Fine fine. We're getting married." She looked away from Maggie and pretended it was nothing.  
  
"Abby that's wonderful news! Have you set a date yet?!"  
  
"No. We only just decided a few weeks ago."  
  
"A few weeks?! That's a long time! I can't believe you didn't tell me!"  
  
"You know now."  
  
"Well we better get started on the wedding plans!"  
  
"Mom! That's why I didn't tell you!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Cos you would start organising it and everything."  
  
"So?! This is a big deal Abby!"  
  
"Exactly what I think." Said Carter suddenly.  
  
"See. John thinks so too."  
  
"You do?" Asked Abby surprised.  
  
"Yeah. Would you rather get married looking preg.." He stopped as Abby's eyes opened wide and she gave him a look to shut him up.  
  
"What's that now?" Asked Maggie.  
  
"Um.nothing."  
  
"Weren't you about to say something?"  
  
"Yeah but it's okay."  
  
"Come on tell me!"  
  
Carter looked over at Abby and gave her another pleading look.  
  
"Fine!" Shouted Abby as she stormed off into the bedroom and slamming the door.  
  
"What's wrong with her?" Asked Maggie.  
  
"I don't know. Be right back."  
  
He got up and walked down the hall to the bedroom. He opened the door and slowly walked in, closing it behind him.  
  
"Abby? Sweetie what's wrong?"  
  
There was no answer. He crept over to the bed and he saw a shadow on the other side sitting on the floor leaning against the bed.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
He moved round the bed and sat down next to her.  
  
"Come on, tell me."  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"Well it obviously is cos you're in here and we're out there."  
  
"It's just..nothing."  
  
"It's just what?"  
  
"She turns up out the blue, expects a welcome greeting and acts as if nothing's happened. Why is she here? What does she want this time? What's she done wrong to make her come here in the first place? There's always something."  
  
He put his arm around her and pulled her into him as he listened.  
  
"Well maybe she just wanted to see you. It has been over a year now."  
  
"I guess. But I don't trust her."  
  
"Why don't you ask why she's here. I'll go get a video or something and leave you two to talk huh?"  
  
"Thanks John. Why do you always know what to do?!"  
  
"I have a natural talent for it!"  
  
He kissed her head and she leant against his chest as she sighed deeply. A few minutes passed and they were still sitting by the bed as there was a tap on the door.  
  
"Come in!" Said Carter as Abby stirred a little from her half-sleep.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt but can I use your shower?" 


	11. Nothing Heals Me Like You Do

Chapter Eleven - Nothing Heals Me Like You Do  
  
A quick canoodle later whilst Maggie was in the shower, Carter went out and decided to bide his time and went to Gamma's. That always went down well with her, an unexpected visit was a sure hit with her, maybe a some more dinner. That's always good. Meanwhile, Abby prepared herself for a long talk with Maggie, her Mom.  
  
"Mom do you want sugar?"  
  
"Uh, yeah just two. Thanks!"  
  
Abby brought to teas out and sat down on the couch next to Maggie. Maggie took the tea and took a small sip before placing it back on the table.  
  
"Nothing like a nice cup of tea to get you going." Maggie stated as Abby smiled a little, taking another sip.  
  
"So. What's goin' on Mom?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing's going on."  
  
"Well there must be cos you don't just come and see me for no reason."  
  
"God Abby I just wanted to come down and see my daughter WHAT is the problem?!"  
  
"Are you taking your medication?"  
  
"What kind of a question is that?"  
  
"A good one. Are you?"  
  
"As a matter of fact yes I am. Now can we talk about something else please?"  
  
"Fine. So how's Eric?"  
  
"He's great. He's been promoted."  
  
"Really? Great. And how's your job?"  
  
"I'm working at the doctor's surgery. I'm a receptionist. Part-time."  
  
"I thought you had a job at the supermarket?"  
  
"I did. But it's so boring Abby I needed a change. Plus I get a free consult whenever I want one!" She laughed while Abby remained unmoved by her little joke and took another sip of tea.  
  
"Anything else you wanna tell me?"  
  
"No! Abby what is this, it's like I'm being questioned by the damn cops!"  
  
"What do you expect Mom?! I mean you come down here unexpected, invite yourself into my home, interrupt my life and you give me one bit of an explanation? This is not normal for you to come see me with no problem so excuse me if I'm being cautious."  
  
She slumped back down in her seat and took another long sip of tea.  
  
"Ow! Shit. This is hot."  
  
"Here let me get you a drink."  
  
Maggie got up and poured a glass of water for Abby.  
  
"Here."  
  
She passed the water to Abby who began gulping it down.  
  
"Thanks." She mumbled.  
  
"You're lucky I was here really."  
  
"I'm glad you see it like that."  
  
"Abby, talk to me. Please, what's wrong?"  
  
"There's nothing wrong Mom apart from the fact that my mouth is burning."  
  
"Fine. Don't talk to me."  
  
Silence feel upon them as Maggie sat sipping her tea angrily and Abby sulked.  
  
"You always do this Abby. So stubborn."  
  
"How am I being stubborn?!"  
  
"You're angry I've come to see you so you're lashing out as if I've done something wrong!"  
  
"Well have you?"  
  
"No! For God's sakes Abby. Is it really that hard to believe I just wanted to see you?"  
  
"I guess it must be."  
  
"Fine. You know what fine! If you're gonna sit here and act like a child then I'm leaving."  
  
She got up and grabbed her coat as she headed for the door.  
  
"Mom wait. You can stay."  
  
"No I'm obviously not welcome with you and your new life."  
  
"Mom please! Just stay."  
  
Maggie stopped in her tracks as Abby went over to the door to stop her leaving.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
They sat back down and the talking began again. After half an hour, they wondered where Carter had got to.  
  
"He was only supposed to be getting a movie."  
  
"You like him?" Asked Maggie, genuinely interested.  
  
"Who?" As if she didn't know already. "Yeah."  
  
"You love him?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Just don't make the same mistakes I did Abby."  
  
"I won't."  
  
"I can see he's serious about you, he cares about more than any of the other guys I've seen you with have."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I may be a nightmare Abby, but I know love when I see it. He loves you. Without a doubt. I always thought you were together before, when you were with that Euro doctor. He would stare at you all the time, more than the Euro doctor but it wasn't my place to say."  
  
"He did did he?!"  
  
"Oh yeah. You've got him Abby, forever."  
  
"Well he can't get away now even if he wanted to."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
Maggie's face lit up. She jumped up and hugged Abby so tightly she thought the air was going to be all squeezed out.  
  
"And you didn't tell me! Ahhh Abby this is so exciting!"  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Abby do you want the baby?"  
  
"Yeah. But no."  
  
"What's the problem?"  
  
"There isn't one."  
  
"I know my daughter, what is it?"  
  
Abby sighed. How did she know there was something wrong? There was. She wanted the baby, but something was always troubling her.  
  
"Abby tell me. I'm your Mother!"  
  
"Okay okay. But don't get angry at me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"It's not like last time, with Richard. Back then, I was a different person, and I didn't want to have a baby with him, it wouldn't be fair. But I also didn't want it..because I was afraid it would turn out like you."  
  
"I see. Abby, the chances of that happening are next to nothing, and you can't just not have a child because you're afraid of what 'could' be!"  
  
"I'm too scared to take the chance."  
  
"Abby it's okay to be scared. I was scared."  
  
"You were?"  
  
"Of course. It's no walk in the park Abby. Bringing up a child is hard work, especially when they are baby's."  
  
"I didn't expect them to be."  
  
"I know I know I'm just saying. Look Abby, I may not always be right, or know what to do, or even be here for you when you need me cos I'm busy doing something I shouldn't be, but I promise, if you ever need me, you only have to ask."  
  
"Thanks Mom. I will."  
  
"Okay. You better!"  
  
Maggie hugged Abby, and Abby finally relaxed and let go of all the anger she had towards her Mother. She was finally letting go. Maybe this time she had stayed off the Prozac and carried on takings her meds. Either way, Abby liked her Mom like this. No manic episodes and depressions, it was great. She guessed things hadn't crashed and burned after all.  
  
"So what are you going to do?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You have to tell John how you feel. He deserves to know."  
  
"I know that. But he won't listen he'll just get mad and say I'm being selfish."  
  
"You won't know unless you try Abby."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You never know, he may surprise you."  
  
'Doubtful' thought Abby as she sat back and took another sip of tea.  
  
12.30am - Abby's apartment  
  
"God John why were you so long?!" Shouted Abby as Carter walked in the door.  
  
"Sorry I had a few things to do!"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Never mind. Where's Maggie?"  
  
"She's asleep in the spare room."  
  
"Did everything go..okay?"  
  
"Actually yeah it did."  
  
"Great. So you still in the celebrating mood?!"  
  
"I might be!" She said seductively as he walked over to her standing behind the counter.  
  
"I got you something." Said Carter as he brought a bunch of dead flowers from behind his back.  
  
"John you didn't have to!"  
  
"Yeah but I wanted to."  
  
"Thank you." She stared into his eyes and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Let me just put these in a vase." She murmured as his kissing became more fervent.  
  
"Oh can't it wait?!" He whined.  
  
"No! Besides I thought you were gonna get a video?"  
  
"Yeah but I went to Gamma's."  
  
"She's more important than a night in front of the TV is she?!"  
  
"Generally no, but I made an exception. I figured you would want more time with your Mom."  
  
"Yeah. It helped. I told her, about the baby."  
  
"You did?! I thought you didn't want anybody to know?"  
  
"Yeah but I decided she had a right to know. She was really pleased."  
  
"As pleased as I am?!"  
  
"I don't think anybody could top that." She said as they kissed again.  
  
"So you ready for bed?"  
  
"Yeah let me just turn off all the lights."  
  
"Okay don't be long!" He said as he walked away to the bedroom.  
  
Abby smiled to herself and went about the apartment switching off all the lights and made her way to the answer machine to switch it on. The phone rang.  
  
"Hello? Eric. Yeah sorry I was just about to ring you. She's here. No, actually everything's fine. Yeah, sure. I will, you too. Bye."  
  
The phone clicked as she put the receiver down and switched on the machine. She walked slowly to the bedroom to find Carter taking off his shirt. The shirt was up round his head as he pulled it off.  
  
"Well, I see somebody's been working out!"  
  
"I had too! I couldn't take your jokes anymore!"  
  
"Really?!" She laughed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay. Come here." He motioned for her to come over to him and she did so.  
  
As she reached him he put his arms around her waist and pulled her to him closer. He planted a soft kiss on her lips and she responded eagerly.  
  
"I love you Abby."  
  
"I love you too John."  
  
He smiled and kissed her again as he lifted her up and placed her gently on the bed as their night of passion began, quietly. 


	12. U Turn

Chapter Twelve - U Turn  
  
Next Day - 3rd Apartment Viewing  
  
"Abby this is so boring can't we just decide?!" Carter whined as Abby continued to look around the third house they had viewed already.  
  
"No John we've got to get one we really love!"  
  
"Yeah but it's so boring! This ones okay!"  
  
"I don't wanna move into a really expensive house which you think is 'okay'! We need the perfect house."  
  
"Fine. But don't worry about the cost Abby, I got it."  
  
"John you are not paying for it all by yourself."  
  
"No but when we get married we'll have a joint account where all that's mine, is yours, and vice versa."  
  
"You want one of those?! Richard was so against it."  
  
"I'm not Richard Abby. I'm not greedy and selfish!"  
  
"I guess you're right."  
  
"I am."  
  
"So what's our price range?"  
  
"As high or low as you want."  
  
"Really John, tell me. We're supposed to be getting married so I need to know how much money is gonna be mine!"  
  
"Fine fine. But don't tell anybody okay?"  
  
"I promise!"  
  
"Well, for the house you can go as high as you like."  
  
She gave him an evil look.  
  
"Alright. I'll give you number but remember you can go higher okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay. Well this house is $500,000 so you can go up to about $10,000,000."  
  
"10 million dollars! John that's too much!"  
  
"You did ask."  
  
"Yeah but I was expecting about a hundred thousand!"  
  
"Only the best for you honey." He said sarcastically as she continued to look stunned.  
  
"God John that's a lot of money."  
  
"We don't have to spend that much, but you can go as high as that. Maybe higher."  
  
"I don't think I could spend that much!"  
  
"Oh trust me, you could."  
  
"Abby come and check out this bedroom it's huge!" Shouted Maggie from the other room.  
  
"Just coming!" Abby shouted back. "Come on John this is fun!"  
  
"Oh god." Moaned Carter as Abby dragged him into the room.  
  
4pm - 7th House Viewing  
  
"Seventh house, could be lucky." Said Abby as she followed the tall skinny woman who had been showing them around the houses all day.  
  
"It better be I'm beat." Replied Carter as Abby took his hand and pulled him into the house.  
  
It was a very large house. It was a little drive to get to the door along a long drive which went in and then out in the adjacent exit. Pebbles spread out along the whole U-shaped drive. It led them up to a large Mansion house, not nearly as big as the Carter mansion but large enough for about 10 people. Abby was overwhelmed by how big it was, maybe it was too much?  
  
"Here we have the main lounge, the other smaller sitting room is just at the back of the house."  
  
"Wow it's nice huh John?"  
  
"Yeah it's really nice."  
  
"Are you being sarcastic again?"  
  
"No I really like it." "Good so do I."  
  
"Can we have a look around ourselves?" Carter asked the woman.  
  
"Sure. If you have any questions I'll wait right here."  
  
Abby and Carter walked off leaving Maggie chatting to the woman about the special features of the house. The large bathtub with Jacuzzi and the twin basins in the master bedroom.  
  
"So what do you think so far?"  
  
"I think it's great."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, and there's only the one bedroom that needs decorating."  
  
"I think I know what we can use that for."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The baby's room. Imagine it Abby, we already know the sex so we can decorate it now if we wanted to. We can hire a designer to create a really nice room for the baby."  
  
"You've thought about this a lot huh?" Abby asked curiously. He was making it harder for her to tell him her worries about it when he was being so excited all the time.  
  
"A little." A cheeky smile spread across his face.  
  
"A lot, more like! You're not scared?"  
  
"No why would I be?"  
  
"No reason."  
  
"So you like this place?"  
  
"I love it. But it's so big, don't you think it's a bit extreme?"  
  
"Not really. I think it's just right."  
  
"You think just right is 6 bedroom, 4 bathrooms and a kitchen as big as my apartment?!"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"I'd hate to think what you'd call extreme!"  
  
"Come on Abby I think it's perfect for us."  
  
"Yeah me too. I just don't want you to spend too much money."  
  
"Abby I told you don't worry about it I can afford it."  
  
"If you're sure. But I'm paying you rent!"  
  
"Okay we'll make a deal..you let me buy this for us, and you pay rent my living in it with me?"  
  
"That sounds like a plan!"  
  
He pulled her towards him and she wrapped her arms round his neck, staring into each others eyes.  
  
"So we have a deal?"  
  
"We have a deal." Answered Abby as she moved in for a kiss.  
  
"So you two, have you decided yet?!" Burst in Maggie.  
  
"Yeah. We're taking this place. We love it." Answered Carter.  
  
"Oh this is so exciting! There's not much to be done to it is there?!"  
  
"No which is great. Just the baby's room."  
  
"I'll bet you've got some ideas for that Dr Carter!"  
  
"You can call me John, Maggie."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's fine really. But I think as I'm going to be your son-in-law, you addressing me in such a formal way is a bit much."  
  
"Sure. John!"  
  
"That's more like it!"  
  
Maggie smiled at Carter as he pulled Abby under his arm and they stood together as the tall skinny woman came up the stairs into the master bedroom they were in.  
  
"Have you seen everything yet?"  
  
"Yes we have. And we've decided we want it." Answered Carter.  
  
"That's great. I've got all the paperwork back at the office so I'll fax it through and the lawyers can sort it all out."  
  
"Sure. Thank you for all the help today. It has been a bit of a nightmare."  
  
"My pleasure it was no problem."  
  
"Well I think we all need to go home to bed I'm getting tired!"  
  
"Really? I thought we could have a look around a few more places, just in case we find one we prefer?!" Said Abby pretending.  
  
Carter gave her a questioning look and she cracked up.  
  
"Just kidding John!"  
  
"That's really not funny!" Laughed John as they all walked down the stairs and outside.  
  
"Well thanks again Laura, you've been a great help." "It's was no problem really. I'll get the details to you as soon as I can."  
  
"Great. So you like this place then Abby?"  
  
"I love it."  
  
"Me too. Maggie?"  
  
"I think it's perfect for you two!" 


	13. Nobody Knows It But Me

Chapter Thirteen - Nobody Knows It But Me  
  
5pm - The Lounge  
  
She was dying inside, and nobody knew it but her. It was so hard to keep things from John. She loved him so much, but it was too late. Two days ago, she had had an abortion. An abortion. Her second abortion of her life. There must be something in her head telling her she wasn't meant to be a Mother. She should have one child and another on the way by now, but instead, she was a childless woman who killed her two chances of having kids. And she felt awful. This time, it was a mistake. Before she did it, she thought she could pretend to John she had a miscarriage. But now, that looked pathetic. He wasn't stupid. He could easily find out she hadn't. God what had she done?  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by somebody striding into the lounge. She didn't quite register who it was at first, until they spoke.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Yeah what?"  
  
"You okay?" Asked the concerned voice.  
  
"Yeah yeah I'm fine. Just day dreaming!"  
  
"I know what that's like." Answered the voice.  
  
Silence fell upon them as the figure moved over to the coffee machine.  
  
"You sure everything's okay?"  
  
"Yeah sure why wouldn't it be?"  
  
"You just seem a little distant in the past couple of days. Anything you wanna talk about?"  
  
'Yeah I had an abortion two days ago and John doesn't know.' Maybe not.  
  
"No thanks Susan. I'll be fine."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I gotta get back to work. Catch you later."  
  
"Yeah!" Called Susan as Abby swiftly left the room.  
  
'What's bugging her?' Thought Susan as she carried on making her evening coffee.  
  
The day went by slowly, like the day yesterday, and the day before. It was playing on her mind like nothing before. This time she had really done it. Well and truly done it. She'd got rid of her child, and probably now she'll lose John because of it. Sometimes she hated the world, it never seemed to go right. And when it did, it didn't stay like that for long. She was confused, she didn't know what to do. Should she tell John the truth? Or pretend she had a miscarriage? Or maybe even just leave it and when he starts to notice she isn't growing in size, she can tell him that...oh she didn't know. It was so hard. But she thought, 'I brought this on myself, it's my fault'. It's always her fault.  
  
9pm - Abby's Apartment  
  
"Hey sweetie, how you feeling?"  
  
"Uh yeah fine."  
  
"You sure? Susan said you looked a bit down today. Anything wrong?"  
  
"Nope. Everything's fine."  
  
He gave her a curious look and she looked away, trying not to look in his, it would make the pain of knowing she'd hurt him even worse. She hated lying to him, it was so hard, but what could she do?  
  
"I was thinking about the wedding. I think we should have it on the 12th May. Sorta, middle of the fall, it should be nice weather but not too hot. Gamma thinks it's..."  
  
"She interrupted him suddenly. She couldn't stand lying to him anymore.  
  
"John I had an abortion!"  
  
As soon as she said it, she froze. 'I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have said it!' He stood glued to his spot, frozen in his tracks, she had had an abortion.  
  
"I had an abortion." She said, quietly repeating it, as if he hadn't heard.  
  
What could he possibly say to that? He needn't bother, she walked out.  
  
Two hours later  
  
She carefully put the key in the lock and turned it as silently as she could. He may have been asleep, or maybe he wasn't even there. He was. She slowly came into the apartment and placed her keys on the side. Where was he? She took off her sweater and walked slowly around the apartment searching. He wasn't in the living room, nor the kitchen, nor the bathroom. She tried the spare room, no, he wasn't in there, just her Mom sleeping soundly. She hadn't been disturbed by their slight argument earlier. There was only one place he could be, if he was there at all. He cautiously opened the bedroom door, and there he was. Back facing her, hiding his head in his hands, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
  
"John." She breathed.  
  
He sat, motionless, still head in hands. She moved forward towards him a little. His back still turned, she could feel the coldness between them. Why did she have to do this? She should have just suffered in silence, gone ahead with the baby. She was selfish, she didn't think about him, or anybody else but herself.  
  
"John please."  
  
She tried again. She moved around the bed to the side where he was sitting and waited patiently for him to speak.  
  
"John talk to me. Don't do this."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why did you do this?"  
  
"I.I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?! Do you know what this has done to us?! You should have told me Abby. Before preferably."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah well sorry isn't going to bring our child back is it?"  
  
"John please don't be angry."  
  
"Angry?! Angry! You don't expect me to be angry? Well that's rich Abby. You kill our child and don't tell me till afterwards and expect me to not be angry?! Well I'm sorry if I've disappointed you."  
  
"Stop! Please I'm sorry okay I'm so sorry!"  
  
She broke down and began to cry. For the first time he had ever seen her this upset. She always tried to hide her emotions, not to cry, and pretend everything was alright. This time she wasn't.  
  
"I'm sorry John, please, please forgive me." She sobbed quietly as she curled up on the floor next to the bed.  
  
He slid down off the bed and pulled her into his embrace. He wished he'd been stronger and not comforted her, and told her how he really felt, but it was too hard. He couldn't hurt her. Not again. This time it was her who needed to be saved.  
  
"Abby please. I'm not..angry, I'm just. I'm confused. I don't understand."  
  
She sobbed a reply which was inaudible. He figured there was plenty of time for her to explain it all, but now, she just needed to cry, and she needed his support. She had killed their child. But then, if she had kept it, she would probably have been more unhappy. But why had she done it? She must have been unhappy all this time, and not said a word. He started to feel guilty as he felt the wetness of her tears seeping through his shirt. He leaned his head on the top of hers and sighed heavily, breathing softly into her hair. She shivered, feeling his warmth surrounding her. She relaxed and just let herself cry into him. It felt, good. To cry. To not feel ashamed of crying. Whenever she cried, she always felt bad, like it was a crime, but he made it feel right. Like it wasn't a bad thing, more like it was good. In a way, it was a lucky omen, now he had seen her at her lowest, crying, nobody had ever really seen her cry. Maybe her Mom. But nobody she was this close to. It usually hurt too much. But now, it was okay.  
  
He held her for what seemed like ages. He held her for all the times he had hurt her, he held her for all the times she had been hurt, he knew then he would hold her forever, whatever was thrown their way. An hour had passed and they still sat leaning against the bed, her head now leaning on his shoulder, and she was asleep. It was weird, she felt safe now, like she could face anything. She dreamed of a life where they had no problems, living far away from anybody, from anywhere, alone and carefree. It was like paradise. She wished they could live in paradise together, far away from all their problems. She wished she had never got pregnant in the first place, then this mess would never have occurred. But it had. And this was reality. Would he ever really forgive her? She had killed his child, a whole life. A person. The guilt for herself was bad enough, but now she had ruined John's life, the guilt was worse. It felt like the world was on her shoulders. She carried on dreaming of this perfect life in paradise while he lifted her up and put her into bed. He covered her up and then climbed in next to her. Just watching her sleep, seeing her chest rise up and down, sometimes more quickly than before because she had been crying. He ran his hand over her cheek and kissed her forehead as he snuggled up close to her. He wrapped his arms around her still petite frame and pulled her closer to him as he slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
They slept for hours. For an eternity. Together for an eternity. They slept together, not apart, together. Every movement was felt by the other, and they stayed so close all night, it was as if they had been apart for years. He never let her go, and she never escaped from his grasp. She loved this, sleeping together without actually sleeping together. Feeling the warmth of one another around them made each feel safe, and in a way what she had done had brought them closer together. It wasn't as if they had never slept like this before, but usually by the morning one of them had moved onto the other side of the bed, or they had become unattached somehow. This time, when they woke, they were still intertwined under the covers, legs wrapped around each other and his arms covering her like a protective barrier. Nothing could ever hurt her when he did this, so she never wanted these moments to end.  
  
11am - Abby's Apartment  
  
The phone rang. Once, twice, three times.  
  
"Hello?" Said a sleepy Carter. "It is, who's speaking? Oh yes, hello. Yes thank you. Sure, just send it over. Right, of course. Well I'll pick up the keys at around..one? That's great. Thanks Laura. Yeah see you then. Bye."  
  
He replaced the receiver and moved back into Abby and sighed heavily as he closed his eyes again slowly.  
  
"Who was that?" Said a groggy Abby.  
  
"Laura. The paperwork's done. She said I can go get the keys today."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"That's if you still want to?" Enquired Carter.  
  
She turned over so she was facing him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Abby staring directly into them.  
  
"Yes. I do. Do you?"  
  
"Yeah. More than anything."  
  
"That's settled then. I already booked the movers for tomorrow anyway so you don't have a choice!"  
  
"I'm working tomorrow Abby!"  
  
"I asked Weaver to change the shifts. You're doing one shift Thursday and a double on Friday."  
  
"Oh okay then! Nice of you to inform me."  
  
"I thought it would be a nice surprise."  
  
"A lovely surprise doing a double on Friday when I could be with you settling into our new home!"  
  
"I'm sorry John. It was either that or working three doubles next week to cover for the days you could have off this week."  
  
"Actually I'd rather do that."  
  
"You would? Okay well I'll call Weaver later."  
  
"I'd just prefer to spend this week with you. Especially at the moment, we still have things to sort out."  
  
"I know. I guess you're right."  
  
"I am!"  
  
She smiled and closed her eyes again.  
  
"Don't get too comfortable we've gotta go get the keys at 1!" He smirked as she grumbled and turned over.  
  
He lay there for a while, just thinking, he had, in a way, forgiven her. But he was still hurting inside. More than she had ever hurt him before. He couldn't understand her reason for doing it. He needed to understand, and he knew if he didn't then it would just get worse and continue to eat him up inside until he started to turn against her in a way, for taking away their child. Something needed to be done. 


	14. All You Wanted

Chapter Fourteen - All You Wanted  
  
They got up around 12 to find Maggie had gone, with a simple note saying, 'Thanks for the hospitality'. They figured she must have got bored or something. Abby rang Eric to tell him Maggie had gone, and he told her she was on her way to his place and not to worry. With Maggie out their hair, where did this leave them?  
  
1pm - Estate Agents Office  
  
"There you are Dr Carter. Congratulations!"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"It's free for you to move in as of..now!" She said as she looked at her watch.  
  
"Great! I don't we're gonna start moving for a few days actually."  
  
"Oh why not?"  
  
"I have something planned." He winked at her then looked over at Abby who was asleep in the car.  
  
"I see. Well if there's anything more you need, travel arrangements and movers then don't be afraid to call."  
  
"I will thanks. See you soon."  
  
"Of course. Bye Dr Carter."  
  
He nodded and walked out the office. He threw the keys up in the air and caught them as he skipped to the car. He tried to close the door quietly but she woke up and looked over grumpily at him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
"No. It's fine. So you got them?"  
  
"Yep. We are free to move in whenever we want!"  
  
"Great. Let's go then!"  
  
"I was thinking we could go take a break for a while before we start moving."  
  
"Like where?"  
  
"Like..somewhere I booked this morning while you were sleeping!"  
  
"John! Why didn't you tell me?!"  
  
"Cos I knew you would say no!"  
  
"What about work? We can't have any time off."  
  
"I called Kerry. I told her we were both really ill and caught the flu and were both sick in bed."  
  
"You lied?!"  
  
"Well hat was I supposed to say?! Oh Kerry can Abby and I have a week off for going on holiday and moving house?!"  
  
"Well you better hope she doesn't find out!"  
  
"She won't!"  
  
"If she does you're taking the rap. I have nothing to do with this little plan."  
  
"Okay. So all we need to do is grab a few things and go to the airport."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Ahhh all in good time my love!"  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"It's a surprise!"  
  
"I hate surprises!"  
  
"You won't hate this one!"  
  
"You better be right, for your sake!"  
  
"I am. Trust me!"  
  
They both laughed and he drove off to their apartment to get their stuff. There was a limo waiting outside for them and it took them to the airport.  
  
"You're really putting out all the stops aren't you?!"  
  
"Anything for you Abby."  
  
"Ha ha. Seriously John, why all this?"  
  
"All what?"  
  
"The limousine, the mystery trip..I don't get it."  
  
"Well I just figured we could use a break. Away from here, away from the ER. Just away."  
  
She gave him a curious look and he gave her a heart warming look back.  
  
"I just think we need to get away to sort everything out. I need to understand you, and why you did..what you did. I'm not angry with you, far from it, I'm just confused. And I think a break will give you the chance to tell me everything you're feeling."  
  
"Okay. Don't expect a life story though!"  
  
"Abby I want the life story. It doesn't matter if it's boring to you, it's not boring to me."  
  
She smiled at him, but he remained serious. The cheeky smile dropped from her face and she reached over to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes as she did so and she leaned over to kiss him.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay?" He asked amazed that she had agreed to tell him everything.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Master Carter we've arrived." Said Alger through the divide.  
  
"Thank you Alger. We'll take it from here."  
  
"You're welcome sir. Have a nice trip."  
  
They got out the limo and Carter put their bags onto a trolley. He made his way to the gate. The luggage had been taken courtesy of his private airline company. All that they needed to do was board the plane. Carter led Abby through outside where they waited for conformation.  
  
"I'm nervous."  
  
"What of flying?!" Carter asked surprised.  
  
"You know I hate flying!"  
  
"Sorry. I forgot."  
  
"I guess I'll have to bear it!"  
  
"Yes you will. It's not a huge plane. It's my family's private jet. It's only us and a crew of five on board."  
  
"What?! John! I thought it was just a normal flight!"  
  
"We're travelling in style this time Abby!"  
  
"I can see that!" She announced as she saw the small private jet wheel round the corner into her view.  
  
She giggled and he grabbed her hand leading her to the jet. They boarded and made their way to the lounge area.  
  
"Wow!" Abby exclaimed as they entered the room.  
  
Carter closed the curtained door so nobody could come in. It was always nice to have a bit of privacy on a plane. There'd be no screaming kids this time.  
  
"It's like a hotel in here!"  
  
"A nice hotel I hope?!"  
  
"Nothing but the best for the Carter family!"  
  
"Hey there's no need for that!" Answered Carter amused.  
  
"I was just joking." She laughed back as she began to explore the room.  
  
Two black leather couches greeted them on either side of the plane, with a double bed on the right on the corned next to the door. There was a bar on the other side at the end of the couch, a large flat screen TV attached to the side of the plane, a rack with videos and DVDs on, and a great stereo next to the other couch with a stack of CDs in a rack next to it. It was like her birthday and Christmas had come all at once!  
  
"How many times have you used this?!"  
  
"A few."  
  
"Don't sound too excited!"  
  
"Well you get used to it."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"So, what you like a drink?"  
  
"Sure. What have you got?"  
  
"A range actually. I've got coke, water, sprite, juice and sparkling cider. Take your pick." Said Carter as he rummaged around the fridge.  
  
"I'll have a glass of chilled water please sir!"  
  
"At your request madam." He said, very debonair as he poured her a glass of cold water.  
  
"Thanks." She said as he passed her the glass.  
  
He poured himself one and went over and sat on the couch.  
  
"Come sit with me." He said when he saw her standing in the middle of the room looking around her at all the décor.  
  
"Ooooook." She said happily as she pranced over and sat next to him.  
  
He put his arm round her and she rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"This is nice."  
  
"What the plane?!"  
  
"No! This. Us. You know Richard's idea of closeness would be for us to watch the football together."  
  
"What's wrong with that?!"  
  
"On separate couches."  
  
"Oh!" He laughed out loud. "I'm sorry Abby but that's pretty funny!"  
  
"Yeah now it is! Wasn't so funny then. And his way of saying he loved me was to offer me a beer!"  
  
"Oh jeez. He is one joke of a man."  
  
"Ironic though isn't it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well his 'love' turned me into an alcoholic."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You guess?! He did!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"John what's wrong?"  
  
He hadn't really been paying attention, he was thinking more importantly about deeper things. He still needed to know why she did it. He had tried his best to hide his anger, and he hadn't at first, she cried, that was the one thing that stopped him. He had a big speech planned out and everything. But still, she stopped him. It was a shame in a way, maybe if he had been able to tell her what he was feeling, then she would understand him, and therefore begin to explain why she did what she did. Instead, she cried, he cried, he comforted her, and he calmed down. Thus, no conclusion was made.  
  
"John?"  
  
"Huh what?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Sorry. I was just."  
  
"Thinking about something else."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"John, you know I am sorry."  
  
"Sure!" He said, forcing a smile as he patted her leg lightly.  
  
"Well it's still bugging you."  
  
"Of course it's still bugging me!"  
  
"Well talk to me then! Tell me what's on your mind!"  
  
"I don't think I should be the one who needs to talk do you?"  
  
"Well what do you want me to say?!"  
  
"Just tell me why."  
  
"I don't know where to start John." She trailed off.  
  
"How about from the damn beginning Abby?!" He shouted suddenly, making her jump slightly.  
  
There was silence, and they just stared at one another, and there, was the first time Abby could see the real pain in his eyes. She felt his pain, and suddenly, for the first time, she felt truly guilty. It was a mistake. What had she done? It was a mistake. She needed to get off the plane right then and there, get away from John, from this scenario, from this awkward situation, but she couldn't. There was no way off, unless she fancied parachuting which was a definite no-go area. What could she say now? Now that she knew how he truly felt. All she wanted to do was to turn the clocks back and stop herself from doing what she did, but it was too late.  
  
"WELL?" He exclaimed once more.  
  
"I.I.can't we do this when we get there?"  
  
"No. No we can't do it when we get there, I wanna do it now. If we get it off our chest now so we can at least enjoy the rest of the holiday."  
  
Abby just stared at him blankly, it was obvious she wasn't going to talk any time soon.  
  
"So why did you do it?! What possessed you to go and have our child, killed?! I mean really cos I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I think it stinks."  
  
"I already told you I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah you're sorry. Abby that's not gonna bring it back is it? I mean seriously, what do you expect me to do?! Pretend like nothing's happened and everything is fine like it was before."  
  
He paused for a second while he thought about what he just said.  
  
"Hell I don't even know if you WERE happy before now do I?!"  
  
"John it's not your fault."  
  
"Well tell me WHY you did it?! Please!"  
  
His face was exasperated. She was feeling more and more guilty as he carried on letting all his anger out. She knew he still loved her, but it was going to take a lot for him to forgive her. Now it was her turn to say 'I'm sorry'.  
  
"I.I did it.because."  
  
"Because what?!" He interrupted.  
  
"Because I love you! Okay! Because I love you." She shouted, then calmly repeated herself.  
  
He looked at her, bewildered, what did this mean?  
  
"Well I'd hate to think what you'd do if you didn't love me!" He answered sarcastically.  
  
"I couldn't, I wouldn't make you have to go through what I had to."  
  
"Which was what?"  
  
"Maggie. All over again."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"I didn't want you to go through everything I did with my Mom."  
  
"And you had an abortion because of that?"  
  
"Yeah." She said shamefully.  
  
He sighed. He could see now she wasn't being selfish, but he still felt it wasn't a good enough reason, or maybe it was, but he wished she had asked him before, and maybe he could have changed her mind.  
  
"Abby I don't care whether the baby is bipolar or not. I would have loved it maybe even more. You, just gotta see, I'm not like Richard. And I'm never gonna be like him."  
  
Abby gasped. She couldn't believe he had worked out what she had been feeling. He was right. He wasn't Richard. He wasn't cold hearted and brutal. He was kind, caring, loving. It was too much to bear for her now, she just wanted to give him the love in her heart she was feeling even more that ever before.  
  
"Okay John."  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"I understand. I'm sorry I thought you'd react how Richard would have. That's why I had an abortion last time."  
  
"Last time?" He asked astounded.  
  
She looked down, ashamed. And immediately he felt bad for her. She had obviously been troubled by this for some time now.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"When I was with Richard, I got pregnant, and I had an abortion."  
  
He was silent. He didn't know what to say, but he wanted to reassure her that he didn't think any less of her. In fact, if anything he was more proud of her. She was strong, she hadn't complained about it, or asked for sympathy, hell she hadn't even told him, mustn't that count for something?  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I was ashamed." She said through her quiet sobs.  
  
"Ashamed of what?"  
  
"That you'd think I was a horrible person."  
  
"I would never think that." He said exasperating. He looked down at his knees and scratched the back of his head.  
  
"See, I'm the one screwing it up this time. And alcohol's not even involved!" She laughed a little then stopped and returned to her little depression.  
  
"You're not screwing it up. I know this is hard Abby, but it's hard for me too."  
  
"I know that. I'm sorry."  
  
She gave him a puppy dog look that just made him melt. He couldn't stay mad at her for long. But he knew it was gonna take more than a look for them to get over this hurdle. He motioned for her to move over and sit where he had ventured on the other side of the plane to where she was. She unsurely moved across as he waited patiently for her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come here. Sit with me." He asked, sighing slightly.  
  
She cautiously sat down, but not next to him and he turned to look into her eyes, those eyes so full of doubts he thought they'd spill over unless he comforted her soon.  
  
"What?" She persisted again.  
  
"Just, come here." He persisted back.  
  
She slid further along the couch until she was nearer to him. He pulled her closer and then sat back to relax. She turned around to look in his eyes, his arm draped over her shoulder, she needed that security, to tell her everything was going to be alright.  
  
"Tell me we're gonna be okay."  
  
He leaned his head forward so their foreheads were touching. He sighed slightly, then looked into her eyes again. She was still scared, more than ever before. Her mind was racing, she could lose him.  
  
"We're gonna be okay."  
  
Still, she seemed a little unsure. This brought back memories.  
  
"We're gonna be okay." He repeated.  
  
She smiled at him slightly, and leaned in for a kiss. They settled back in, and decided to watch 'Pretty Woman', against Carter's objection. She always got round him, he thought as she happily watched it, her hands intertwining with his, completely mesmerised by the TV. He just watched her, and he fell in love with her all over again. Her skin, her lips, her deep dark eyes, everything. He loved everything about her, and realised, he could never leave her, no matter what. 


	15. Jeepers Creepers

Chapter Fifteen - Jeepers Creepers  
  
It was late when the plane landed. She was still curious as to where they were. Wherever it was, it was really small. Really really small. In fact, it didn't even have an airport! And it seemed they were the only ones there. They got off the small private plane, and he led her away to a small house where a man sat asleep with a paper over his head.  
  
"Hey Derek." Carter said as they approached the sleeping man.  
  
He didn't stir.  
  
"Derek!" He shouted this time.  
  
The man jumped and almost fell off his chair. He was a plump man, around 50 years old, with a grey beard and moustache, and round thick glasses. He looked like a harbour master to Abby and she chuckled slightly at him almost falling over when he heard Carter shouting at him.  
  
"What?! Who? Ahhh Master Carter. Long time no see sir."  
  
"Yes it has Derek."  
  
"How have you been sir?"  
  
"Not too bad and yourself?"  
  
"Well same old same old you know. Nothing much to do around here apart from sleep really."  
  
"Must be tough sitting around doing nothing all day long."  
  
"I'll have you know that it can be really boring. Especially when the only people you can talk to is a Puerto Rican barman called Alexandro Bino Tinti and a priest who doesn't stop talking about God. He keeps trying to convert me. Damn Christians."  
  
"Alexandro what?!" Carter exclaimed.  
  
"Long story. Basically, he doesn't speak a word of god damn English! And he's got a really weird name."  
  
"So I hear. So where is this mysterious Puerto Rican?"  
  
"Who knows. Last time I saw him he was cleaning the villa, again."  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Four times a week Dr Carter. Not once a month. No, FOUR times a week. He'll be rubbing away all the marble soon!"  
  
Carter laughed.  
  
"Well at least we're getting our moneys worth by paying him to house sit!"  
  
"You can say that again."  
  
He laughed a little then turned his attentions to Abby. Who stood next to Carter, clinging onto his arm and looking like a little scared mouse.  
  
"Are you going to introduce me to this fine looking young lady?!" Asked Derek curiously.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry, Derek this is Abby, my fiancée. And Abby, this is Derek, he lives on the island to make sure we get no drifters or squatters!"  
  
"Nice to meet you Derek." Abby offered her hand to shake it but Derek just stood amazed.  
  
"Fiancée?! You never told me you were getting married?!" He exclaimed.  
  
"That's cos I haven't seen you since I was 25."  
  
"How old are you now for Gods sake?!"  
  
"I'm 33 this year." He answered smirking.  
  
"Well well. Doesn't time fly when you're 'having fun'?!" He answered back sarcastically.  
  
"Doesn't it just."  
  
"Well nice to meet you Miss..?"  
  
"Lockhart. Abby Lockhart." Abby answered.  
  
"Miss Lockhart. Now, can I get you two anything before you head off to the house?"  
  
"Ahhh no I think we're all done here actually. You're welcome to come and have dinner with us sometime this week if you fancy having a night of human companionship!"  
  
"I think I would thank you Dr Carter. You have fun now! And don't do anything I wouldn't do!"  
  
"Oh we won't!" Carter shouted over his shoulder as he led Abby up the path away from the small tent type thing.  
  
"25 huh?" Said Abby suddenly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When you last came here."  
  
"Oh. Yeah."  
  
"Who'd you come with?"  
  
"Nobody special."  
  
"Come on John spill!"  
  
"Just Gamma, my Grandfather and their dog Sam."  
  
"Oh. Nobody else?" She asked inquisitively.  
  
"Nobody else!" He smiled at her as he said it.  
  
She was silence once again, and he noticed she was a little quiet. He stopped walking and turned to face her, not letting go of her hand he was grasping.  
  
"You're the first girl I've brought here Abby."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Only special people come here. You know, even my Mom hasn't been here."  
  
"Well I'm privileged!"  
  
"You are!" He leaned down and kissed her softly before turning to carry on walking.  
  
They finally reached a sort of drive, and as the gates opened, Abby saw what stood before them. A huge mansion, not a house as Derek had so easily put it earlier, a huge mansion.  
  
"John this is huge!"  
  
"You think?"  
  
"It's bigger than our house by miles!"  
  
"Yeah but it used to be a hotel. Before we bought the island and turned it into a house."  
  
"You own this island?"  
  
"Yeah, didn't I tell you?!"  
  
"No! I wouldn't have asked otherwise!"  
  
"Oh. Well I'm a man of mystery!"  
  
"You certainly are! Any other surprises you would like to inform me of?!"  
  
"Uh.no. Not yet."  
  
"I see. So would you like to tell me now where we are?!"  
  
"Yeah I guess you can know. We're on an island called Anion island, land of the wild."  
  
"Anion?! Did you just make that up?!"  
  
"No! It means 'animal island'."  
  
"Really?" She asked sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah really! My Grand Father used to love animals, and we came here once for a vacation and he fell in love with the island."  
  
"Why? Are there loads of animals here?"  
  
"Quite a few."  
  
"What kind?" She asked, sounding a little worried.  
  
"Um, wild boars, goats, pigs, different birds I think."  
  
"No bugs?"  
  
"Why you scared?!"  
  
"No! Of course not. Just asking."  
  
"Well of course there's bugs. Not life threatening ones though."  
  
"Good."  
  
"You are scared!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Oh you so are."  
  
"Shut up John! I am not!"  
  
"Okay. You're not."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
She tried to hide her giggles as they continued to walk up the drive, and they both burst into a fit of laughter.  
  
"I knew it!" He exclaimed all proud because he won the argument for once.  
  
"Only a little bit."  
  
"More like a lot!"  
  
"Okay a lot! You win."  
  
"I win?! Say that again."  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"Cos I won't hear it again probably for some time!"  
  
"Yeah you're right! Okay, you win."  
  
"Sounds great doesn't it?!" He said sarcastically.  
  
"If you say so."  
  
"I do say so."  
  
He smirked and dragged her by the hand running to the house, or should I say 'mansion'. They reached the house, and he felt inside his trouser pockets for the keys.  
  
"Aha. Here we go." He said when he found the keys.  
  
He put the key in the lock and opened the door for her, and motioned for her to go in.  
  
"After you me lady."  
  
"Why thank you kind sir." She answered as she stepped into the main hallway. "Wo!" She exclaimed as she saw what stood in front of her.  
  
The reception area had wall to wall marble flooring, with very expensive looking paintings on all the walls, and statues at all the corners of the room.  
  
"You like it?" Asked Carter as he took of his jacket and put the keys on the small table next to the door.  
  
"It's..expensive looking!"  
  
"Nothing but the best for the Carter family." He said laughing a little.  
  
"Oh of course."  
  
"Would you like the grand tour?"  
  
"Please!" She answered as she gave him her coat to hang up on the coat stand. 


	16. Secrets Of The Night

Chapter Sixteen - Secrets of the Night  
  
"And here we have the main lounge."  
  
"The main lounge?!"  
  
"Yeah, there's three."  
  
"Three?! Now that's just greedy!" She said smirking.  
  
"And right next door is the dinner hall."  
  
"Wow! It's really nice."  
  
"It can also be used as a dancing hall, but we usually use it as a dining room."  
  
"Dancing huh?!"  
  
"You like dancing?"  
  
"After last time at the museum I should think so."  
  
"You're quite good on your feet as I recall!"  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"It was a compliment."  
  
"Well thank you." She said smiling.  
  
He kissed her quickly then grabbed her hand again and whisked her out back into the reception area.  
  
"So, that's the ground floor."  
  
"It's bigger inside than it looks!"  
  
"I guess. So you've seen what, the kitchen, all the sitting rooms, dining area and the bathrooms."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well there's the outside but I'll show you that later."  
  
"What's upstairs then?"  
  
"Ahh.all will be revealed!" He said mysteriously as he guided her up the marble staircase which curled round both sides of the reception area and joined at the top.  
  
"Here's one of the bedrooms. Once you've seen one, you've seen them all."  
  
"Which one did you sleep in when you came before?"  
  
"Uh.this one." He said triumphantly as he walked along the landing.  
  
"It's nice."  
  
"Yeah I liked it."  
  
"What did you do when you came here alone though?"  
  
"Well I had to spend most of the time with my grandparents. But when they went to bed or whatever I'd go and sit on the balcony and watch the sun go down."  
  
"I've never watched a sun set."  
  
"You haven't?"  
  
"No. I guess I was never interested as a kid. And now you never really have the time."  
  
"Well I'll show you."  
  
"You will?"  
  
"Yeah I know the perfect place."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Ahhh now that would be telling!"  
  
"Fine. But I won't tell you my secret."  
  
"What secret?"  
  
"Ahhh that would be telling!" She said exaggerating and laughed a little at Carters peeved look.  
  
"Fine! Well, next door here is the master bathroom, it joins onto the master bedroom."  
  
"Is this where we're sleeping?"  
  
"If you like!"  
  
"Well where else are we gonna sleep?!"  
  
"I thought you could have the couch and I'd have the bed."  
  
He looked at her with a serious expression, but he couldn't hold it and cracked up.  
  
"I think you're the one who's gonna be sleeping on the couch at this rate!"  
  
"Okay no more jokes. I promise."  
  
"Good."  
  
He led her into the bathroom and she gasped at the sight. It was huge! It was bigger than her bedroom and bathroom put together.  
  
"God John it's like a King's palace in this place!"  
  
"So you like it then?!"  
  
"Like it?! I love it!"  
  
"Good."  
  
"We should come here more often."  
  
"You wanna come here again?"  
  
"So far!"  
  
"Okay. Whatever you want."  
  
She walked further into the room and looked around a little. The floor was still marble, but it didn't have the carpet along the middle like the landing which had a cream carpet running along the middle, like the red carpet at a movie premiere.  
  
"And through here..is the master bedroom."  
  
He led her through the large door on the other side of the room and switched on the light next to the door.  
  
"Wow again!"  
  
"It's nice isn't it?"  
  
"Nice?! It brings a whole new meaning to the word!"  
  
"I've never slept in here before."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"My grandparents always did. But she refuses to sleep in here now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cos she doesn't like to sleep in here alone."  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"Not your fault!"  
  
"I know but still."  
  
She looked a little saddened and considered not to sleep in here, leaving it to rest in his GrandFather's memory.  
  
"Maybe we should sleep in another room."  
  
"What for?!" He asked surprised.  
  
"Cos I just think it would be nice to leave it as your Grandparents room."  
  
"Abby, that's the whole point, it's not their room anymore."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I wasn't gonna tell you, Gamma asked if she could but I guess you should know."  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"She's giving this place to us, as a wedding present."  
  
"What this room?!"  
  
"No! The whole island."  
  
"She's giving us an island as a wedding present?"  
  
"Yeah." He answered, as if it was nothing.  
  
"John we can't accept it!"  
  
"Why not?!" He asked, surprised.  
  
"Cos it's too much! A whole island! We're not royalty!"  
  
"It's okay. She wants us to have it. As a holiday home."  
  
"When I think of a holiday home I think a small apartment in New York or something. Not a giant mansion on our own private island!"  
  
"So you don't want it?"  
  
"No I do but I'm just not sure how to thank her."  
  
"She doesn't expect anything back Abby."  
  
"I know. But it's just, so..big I've never of expected this."  
  
"She knows that. That's why she wanted to give it to you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She likes you Abby. She can see you're not with me for my money. And she knows you're not a gold digger, like some girls before."  
  
"Really?!" She said quietly, still astonished.  
  
"Really. She knows this time, it's the real thing. You're the real thing."  
  
Abby gushed with happiness. She was always so worried about what Gamma thought of her. She didn't care about Eleanor cos John didn't really care what she thought, but Gamma, she was so important to him, so that made Gamma important to her. It was true, she wasn't a gold digging whore like the rest, but still, a whole island! She wanted to ring Gamma and thank her. Even better she wanted to go and thank Gamma herself right now and give her a big hug and tell her how much it meant to her, but as Gamma was in Chicago and she was in Anion, her and John's 'island'.  
  
"So that's it. You're grand tour is over, if you have any questions then please, keep them to yourself cos I won't know the answers." They both laughed together at Carter's humour.  
  
"That's great John. It's nice to see you know so much about your family's heritage."  
  
"Correction. Our heritage."  
  
"Oh yeah. Our heritage. That's even worse! You don't know anything about it!"  
  
"I was just kidding. I just can't be bothered to answer any questions cos I'm now!"  
  
"Oh I'm sorry if I was boring you!"  
  
"I'm kinda used to it by now." He smiled and she laughed a little.  
  
"I thought you said no more jokes?!"  
  
"I forgot."  
  
"I can see that!"  
  
"So, when's this sunset you've been raving about gonna make an appearance."  
  
"Depends. What's the time?"  
  
"Five thirty."  
  
"Just in time. Should be anytime soon actually."  
  
"Great."  
  
"Come on then. I'll show you where I watched it."  
  
"Wasn't it on the balcony?"  
  
"Yeah but there's a better place."  
  
He grabbed her hand and led her out onto the balcony attached to 'his' room.  
  
"I thought you said it wasn't on here?!"  
  
"It's not."  
  
She looked confused, but then it was all cleared up when she saw the stairs going up the side of the house just next to the balcony.  
  
"It's up here."  
  
"I didn't know there was another floor."  
  
"It's not really another floor, it's just the roof with a pool and a bar on it."  
  
"A pool? On the roof?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Where have I been?!"  
  
"I don't know Abby. I just don't know!"  
  
He led her up the stairs and they reached the top. Sure enough was the pool, the deepest blue colour she had ever seen. It was beautiful, with the lights lighting up the shadows of the pool and all it's surroundings. The bar was stocked up with drink, but when she looked closer, she saw that the alcoholic bottles were empty.  
  
"Why are they all empty?"  
  
"Not all of them. Just the alcoholic ones."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"I told Derek to empty them before we arrived. I don't drink, and neither do you, but it's better not to have the temptation."  
  
"You had them emptied for me?"  
  
"Yeah." He said, uncertainly, he was worried she would be upset with him.  
  
"That's the sweetest thing John. Thank you." She said before reaching up to kiss him.  
  
He returned the kiss and then as they pulled apart, he smiled at her lovingly.  
  
"Anything for you Abby, you know that."  
  
She gazed back at him, he really was the most wonderful man she'd ever met, and he was all hers. She wanted so much to repay him for all that he'd done for her, and how good he'd been, but she didn't know how. He could see her mind racing, a look on her face told him she was deep in thought as he continued to watch her.  
  
"What's on your mind?" He asked, as they stood with her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Come on, I can see when you're thinking. Tell me."  
  
"I was just thinking how good you are to me, and all I can do is throw it all back in your face."  
  
"You don't do that Abby."  
  
"How can I repay you for everything you've done for me?"  
  
"You don't need to do anything. Being with me is enough of a payback."  
  
"Yeah sure!"  
  
"I'm serious Abby. You make me happy every day, that's enough for me."  
  
She smirked a bit, but he remained serious. He truly believed she was all he needed, it was too good to be true. But it was real, oh so real, and she never wanted to be apart from him again. Right then, she had an overwhelming urge to marry him, then and there. She was sure it was right, they were right.  
  
"Well here we are." He said finally after he had led her to the other side of the roof, up onto a higher platform.  
  
He took her hand and pulled her up onto the bamboo floored platform, the highest point of the house, and turned her to look out at the view.  
  
"It's beautiful John."  
  
"Isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I used to come here when I wanted to be alone. My Grandparents never came up here. If they wanted to swim they used the pool downstairs."  
  
"So this was your floor?!"  
  
"Yeah. Pretty much!"  
  
"It's really beautiful."  
  
"What the roof? Or the view?!"  
  
"Ha ha. The view of course."  
  
"I know. That's why I brought you up here."  
  
"Who else have you brought up here?!"  
  
"Nobody."  
  
"I'm the only one?!"  
  
"Yeah. Only special people are allowed."  
  
"I must be the exception then."  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
He kissed her gently and she smiled as he did so. He was always doing little romantic things, saying sweet things and showing her how much he loved her, but she never did anything back. She felt bad, but it just wasn't in her nature to say or do romantic things. She was pretty sure he knew she loved him, but what if he didn't? But then again, she accepted his proposal, wasn't that enough?  
  
"Shall we?" He asked quietly, disturbing her from her thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sit down."  
  
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."  
  
"What were you thinking?"  
  
"What? Nothing."  
  
"Come on I know you Abby."  
  
"Nothing worth talking about!"  
  
"Okay. Whatever you say."  
  
"So this is the sunset then."  
  
"Yeah. It lasts about a half hour."  
  
"It's already started."  
  
"Yeah. Beautiful though isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah. I've been missing out!"  
  
"As long as you've seen it now."  
  
"Thank you for bringing me up here."  
  
He smiled in return and then looked ahead of him again. She looked at him, taking her attention away from the setting sun. He still looked ahead of him, watching the beautiful sight before him. He sighed slightly, as he sat with his legs stretched out in front, leaning backwards on his arms. He dropped his head. She watched him as he continued to torture her with his sighs.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked, with that same voice of concern she had outside the bar that time.  
  
He turned his head as she touched his face lightly with her hand.  
  
"Yeah. I'm fine."  
  
He smiled at her and took her hand off his face and held it with his own.  
  
"I'm great." He said, reassuring her.  
  
He leaned over and kissed her softly as she closed her eyes and slipped slowly into his embrace. They sat, holding hands, kissing, looking into each others eyes, watching the sun set, and just comforting each other for the rest of the night.  
  
"It's getting cold out here." Commented Abby after they had sat for about an hour.  
  
"You wanna go in?"  
  
"No it's fine out here."  
  
"Here." He said taking off his sweater. "Take my sweater."  
  
"No John it's fine, then you'll freeze!"  
  
"Take it. It's all part of my ninja training."  
  
"Your what?"  
  
"Ask Gamma."  
  
"Okay then." She laughed a little as she put on his sweater and moved up closer to him. They snuggled in together and lay down together, just resting their eyes. 


	17. La Isla Bonita

Chapter Seventeen - La Isla Bonita  
  
The days went by so quickly it was the second to last day before they even had a chance for their feet to touch the ground. Abby was having such a good time, she felt like she could live there forever, with no cares and no trouble, just simply where the boy loves the girl, and the girl loves the boy. She wanted them to stay like that forever, but she knew, sooner or later, the week would end, and back to the cold Chicago they would go, and back to those troubles she left so far behind.  
  
Some nights they had slept in the main bedroom, 'christening' it as their own room in their new holiday home, and some nights they slept on the beach. Curled up together, their legs wrapped round each other, with Carter's face in Abby's hair as they soundly slept and the sea slowly moving up and down beneath them. It was like paradise, no interruptions, and no nosey ER staff asking questions all the time. The only interruptions they had were of Alehandro Bino Tinti, the Welsh Priest and Derek who insisted on cooking a BBQ on the last night.  
  
As the days went on, and the more she saw how much Carter loved her, she realised that now, all she wanted was to get married. A few months ago, if you'd have told her she was intent on marrying John Carter by the end of the week, she would have laughed and told you to get out of town. But now, it seemed almost normal. She was sure it as what she wanted, in fact she was more than sure, but did he feel the same? There was only one way to find out.  
  
"John?"  
  
There was no answer as she continued to search around upstairs for him. She heard singing coming from the en suite, so she crept in and saw Carter singing in the shower to 'Sexual Healing'. Out of tune as well.  
  
'Baaaaaby, I need some loviiiing! Baaaaaaby, I can't hold it much looonger, it's getting stronger and stronger.and when I get that feeling , I want sexual heeeeeealing!'  
  
"Well well. I never thought I'd see the day that John Carter was singing in the shower when he told me off just two days before for doing it!"  
  
He turned around and looked a little more than embarrassed.  
  
"I was just practicing for the wedding!" He joked.  
  
"If that's what you're proposing to sing you can forget the whole thing!" She joked back.  
  
He gave her a puppy dog look and she smirked.  
  
"You're not getting me with that again."  
  
"Come on in it's great in here."  
  
"No I'm good thanks!" She laughed as she folded up his clothes he had thrown across the floor.  
  
"Come on Abby! What, are you gonna stand there and watch instead?!"  
  
"I might have to."  
  
"Oh well. Your loss."  
  
"Is it?!"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
He turned around and carried on scrubbing, singing along to the next song playing on his CD. 'Let's Get it On'. He does love his Marvin Gaye. As she watched, she became more and more excited by his casual movements scrubbing his back, trying to reach places he couldn't, and struggling to keep his balance on the slippery shower surface. She decided she couldn't resist anymore, she quickly removed her tie around skirt and strappy top and jumped in behind him before he realised a thing. She put her hands around over his eyes and he jumped suddenly.  
  
"Guess who?" She asked trying not to laugh.  
  
"Uh..Derek?!"  
  
"No not this time!"  
  
"Why..could it be..the infamous Abigail Lockhart?!"  
  
"How did you know?!" She laughed and he turned around to see her laughing her head off.  
  
He laughed along with her, but inside he was just watching her, taking in all her happiness. The smiles, the laughs, the cute looks she gave him. He was in love with everything about her, if only this little set up was complete. He just wanted to get married. Was it that hard to broach the subject? Well, there was only one way to find out.  
  
The kissing in the shower began, but all Carter could think about was how to ask when she wanted to get married. The thing was, that's all she could think about too.  
  
"Abby?" "Carter?" They said together when the kiss ended.  
  
They laughed a little and then they began to apologise.  
  
"Sorry. You go." Said Carter.  
  
"No, it's alright you."  
  
"No you. I insist."  
  
"You no. Really."  
  
"No you. It's fine."  
  
"Honestly you go."  
  
"When do you wanna get married?" They both blurted out at the same time.  
  
There was a silence, he turned off the shower and the CD player, and they stared at one another, waiting for the other to speak.  
  
"So.."  
  
"So." She repeated.  
  
"So I guess, we both wanna get married?!" He smiled as he said it.  
  
Huge smiles had spread across both of their faces, and they couldn't help but show it.  
  
"Yeah. I mean, only if you want to." Abby replied.  
  
"Of course I do! That's why I asked."  
  
"That's why I asked too."  
  
"So we both asked."  
  
"We did."  
  
There was another silence as they continued their staring match. But they weren't waiting for the other to blink, they were waiting for the next step. When to get married."  
  
"You know.." Began Abby. "There is a priest on the island."  
  
"Are you implying what I think you're implying Miss Lockhart?!"  
  
"I could be. Only.."  
  
"Only what?"  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
"Abby, I would marry you if we were in prison. I would have married you six months ago if you'd asked. I've just been waiting for you."  
  
"I've just been waiting for you!"  
  
"Well why are we wasting time standing here then?!"  
  
"I don't know, why are we?!"  
  
"I don't know either."  
  
He smiled at her, and she smiled back. It was the perfect moment. The sun was setting soon, it would be just right. He kissed her, and then they both clambered out the shower and decided, they wanted to get married.  
  
5pm - On the Beach  
  
It was a small ceremony. It wasn't like they could invite everybody at such short notice, and being that it was in a completely different place it would have been difficult. The Welsh priest, Derek, and of course, Alehandro Bino Tinti was there. Derek was best man, and Abby didn't have the heart to ask Alehandro to be maid of honour. She was wearing a white wrap around skirt and a stringy top with a white bra underneath. John wore cream shorts, and a cream shirt, both wearing sandals. The sun was setting, and the sea silently moved up and down the shore as they said those all important vows.  
  
"Okay John. Repeat after me. I John Truman Carter."  
  
"I John Truman Carter."  
  
"Take thee, Abigail Lockhart, to be my lawful wedded wife."  
  
"Take thee, Abigail Lockhart, to be my lawful wedded wife."  
  
"To have and to hold, from this day forward."  
  
"To have and to hold, from this day forward."  
  
"For better, for worse."  
  
"For better, for worse."  
  
"For richer, for poorer."  
  
"For richer, for poorer."  
  
"In sickness and in health."  
  
"In sickness and in health."  
  
"To love and to cherish 'till death do us part."  
  
"To love and to cherish 'till death do us part."  
  
"Okay, Abby, repeat after me."  
  
"I Abigail Lockhart..."  
  
The priest then led Abby along with the vows, and once they completed them, it was the exchange of the rings.  
  
"Now, I understand you have written your own vows for the exchange of rings?"  
  
"Yes that's right." Answered Carter, not taking his eyes off Abby.  
  
"Abby. I've never fully understood why people got married. I've been to enough of them, but I didn't appreciate their reasons for doing it. But when I met you, I knew then I loved you, and when I finally got the chance to show it, I fell in love with you all over again. This ring, although a little..different, stands for that love, and I hope it reminds you that I love you more than life itself."  
  
He placed the bamboo made ring onto her wedding finger and kissed it.  
  
"John, a year ago, I didn't believe in love. When I was married before, it meant nothing to what we have. I now understand what love is, and I can't believe I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with you. This ring stands for that love I never believed in, until I met you."  
  
She took the ring from Derek and slid it onto John's finger.  
  
"If there is anyone here who has an objection to this marriage, please, speak now, or forever hold your peace." He looked at Alehandro, then at Derek, no answer. "I now pronounce you man, and wife. You may kiss the bride."  
  
Carter smiled at the priest, and then looked at Abby. She really was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And with that, they kissed as the sun set. Their first kiss as a married couple, and it was like it was the first.  
  
Midnight - In the House  
  
"I'd like to propose a toast, to Dr Carter, and his new beautiful wife Abby. I hope you're very happy together, and you continue coming back here for those future family holidays with the little ones!" Carter looked at Abby guiltily, as if would make her feel bad, but she just smiled and nodded slightly at him. It was okay, it was gonna be okay.  
  
"Cheers!" They all said in unison as they clinked their glasses of sparkling cider together. 


	18. One More Night

Chapter Eighteen - One More Night  
  
It was the last night, and they had been married approximately 23 hours and 19 minutes. It was like they had gone to heaven but were still alive. They spent the night before sleeping on the beach. There was a small celebration in the house, but by midnight they were all getting tired, so went to bed. Carter wanted to spend the night completely alone with Abby so he suggested they slept on the beach after they went for a walk.  
  
"So did you expect this before you left?!"  
  
"Maybe. I knew I would marry you sooner rather than later, it seemed kinda...inevitable. If that's the right word to use."  
  
"Really? Well if I'd have known that I would have booked tickets for everyone to come!"  
  
"I'm kinda pleased nobody was here actually."  
  
"Yeah?" Carter asked curiously.  
  
"I think I would have been too nervous."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Cos it's a nervous thing! Getting married..on a beach..in front of your friends and family. I mean can you imagine my Mom. God what a nightmare."  
  
"I don't think she'd be that bad."  
  
"Yeah sure she wouldn't! She wouldn't come anyway, she doesn't fly remember?"  
  
"Oh I'm sure she'd make an exception."  
  
"Maybe. I wouldn't be so sure."  
  
They had made their way to the other side of the island, away from the likes of the Puerto Rican (now established banjo playing) waiter, Derek the complaining island sitter and the Welsh priest who was hardly understandable, and found a little spot just above the sea, but close enough to feel the dampness slightly of the sea sliding up and down the shore. They sat down on a dry patch of sand and kicked off their sandals watching the sea silently move closer then away from them again.  
  
"What do you think they'll say when we go back and tell them?"  
  
"They'll probably talk about it for like a day then find something else to gossip about."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She sat thinking thoughtfully about her question, when it dawned on her that they were married. Actually married. Not just, engaged and thinking about getting married, they were actually 'married'. It scared her a little, but then she remembered who she was married too, and her worried just drifted away.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Carter asked, as if he could read her mind.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Come on, I know you're thinking about something."  
  
"Well I wouldn't be human if I wasn't!"  
  
"Come on tell me!"  
  
"It's nothing really."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"So what time is the flight tomorrow?"  
  
"2.30."  
  
"In the morning?!" She answered horrifed.  
  
"No the afternoon!"  
  
"Thank God for that."  
  
"Yeah you can have your midday lie in again!"  
  
"Hey! I'll have you know that the only reason I sleep in is because you keep me up late!"  
  
"Don't blame this on me!"  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"It's your fault as much as mine!"  
  
"It's so not. It's all your fault."  
  
"Yeah sure, shift the blame to me again!"  
  
They both laughed and he pulled her into a hug as they breathed silently against each other, in perfect bliss in each others company.  
  
"I was thinking.." Said Abby slowly. "The new house, us...getting married, I didn't know this would ever happen to me again, I didn't want it to."  
  
"I didn't either. You're lucky I came along and felt sorry for you, otherwise you'd be left on the shelf!"  
  
"Hey! I'm trying to be serious here!"  
  
"Okay sorry."  
  
"Don't you feel like there's something still missing?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I know I made a mistake. And I regretted it as soon as I did it. And now..now I want it back."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah. I know I don't deserve anything more, I don't even deserve you, or anything that's going good in my life right now..." Carter interrupted her.  
  
"Abby don't say that. You deserve everything you have and more, you made a mistake, everybody does, you're human. At least I think you are. But you gotta remember that if you didn't, then I'd probably be more worried. Nobody's perfect, not even me."  
  
Abby leaned to the side a little and looked at him. He looked back at her curiously, she just stared at him, wondering why he was so good to her, why he chose to marry her, why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.  
  
"How can you say that after all I've done?"  
  
He looked confused, as if she was completely off the mark.  
  
"All that you've done IS the reason I can say that. Everything you do, everything you say, just everything, it all makes me believe that you deserve everything you have and more. Don't you get that?"  
  
She looked confused now, she would probably never fully understand why he felt she deserved the world, but she liked it just the way it was. He loved her, she loved him, that was it. There were no questions, just a comfortable silence, the odd comment, that was their night, and she enjoyed all of it.  
  
"Thanks John." She finally said as she leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips before leaning back onto her elbows and stared out into the night.  
  
He smiled back and leant back onto his elbows as they both stared out into the sea. A few moments later Abby started thinking about the baby again, she knew it had been a mistake the second she had the termination, and it seemed that the only way to get it back would be to have a baby. Maybe not right now, but she knew she wanted a baby with Carter. Probably not this year, but soon. Soon.  
  
That night flew by quicker than they'd both have liked. They lay in each others arms for hours, silently breathing, content with each others company. Abby rested her head on his chest as it slowly moved up and down in time with his breathing.  
  
"I like this." Said Carter suddenly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Us. Just lying together. Nobody around us, we might as well be alone on this island."  
  
"Yeah, me too."  
  
"I love you."  
  
He leaned his head round a bit to try and look at her face which was facing away from his on his chest. She realised he was trying to get her attention and sat up a little to look at him. She smiled at him in recognition, she knew he did, but it didn't hurt to hear it every now and then.  
  
"I love you more!"  
  
"No I love YOU more!"  
  
"I don't think so!"  
  
"Oh I think so!"  
  
"Maybe we love each other the same."  
  
"Maybe. I might just love you a little bit more though."  
  
They both laughed and he rolled over on top of her and kissed her harshly as she continued to laugh. It was already 1am but they didn't care. They made love for the rest of the night and fell asleep by 4. It was the most magical night they had ever had together, and knew there would be so many more to look forward to. The honeymoon was still to come yet..  
  
1pm - Still on the beach  
  
They had slept together, in both senses throughout the night, and it had been magical. But now it was back to reality. Carter woke first and just lay silently watching Abby sleep wrapped around his body. She stirred soon after and woke to see him watching her.  
  
"Good morning." She said smiling, still looking sleepy.  
  
"Afternoon." He replied smiling back.  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"It's just after 1."  
  
"God we're leaving soon." She said as she got herself together and went to get up off him.  
  
"No it's okay Derek said he'd take our things to the plane. I packed it all yesterday while you were changing for the wedding."  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yep. You can just wear what you're wearing home. Everything else is packed. We don't have to be back till the plane is ready to leave."  
  
"Great. So we've got over an hour of time to kill!"  
  
"We do indeed."  
  
"What do you suggest we do?!" She said with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Actually, I wanted to show you something before we left. If that's okay."  
  
"Depends what it is!"  
  
"I think you'll like it."  
  
"I'm intrigued. What is it?"  
  
"Ahh wait and see oh curious one."  
  
"Hmmm I'm not sure I'm liking this!"  
  
"You will. Trust me."  
  
"Why is it I always do?!"  
  
"Cos I'm always right." He answered simply as he stood up and held his hand out to help her up.  
  
"Yeah we'll see about that." She replied sarcastically getting up and dusting off the excess sand from her clothes and then taking his hand as he led her further up the beach.  
  
He led her through the palm trees along a path which seemed like it had been made by people walking on it. He would stop and count something in his head then turn suddenly and count his steps in another direction. She became even more intrigued as he led her further and further away from where they had slept. Eventually he stopped and smiled.  
  
"We're here."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"My den."  
  
"Your den?"  
  
"Yeah. Bobby and I used to play here. Pirates. He was always the baddie."  
  
She stepped out from behind him, and there in front of her stood a huge mass of palm trees in the middle of a closed off area, together in a small clump of about 3 or 4 different sized trees. Ropes were tied from each tree around the area and a tyre hung from the largest tree on the right side. In the middle where the clump of trees were was a small den made of bamboo wood and thin ropes. It was like an adventure playground.  
  
"You made this?!"  
  
"Yeah. It took us ages. We cam here once for the whole summer and we started it at the beginning and only had a couple of days left to play in it cos it took so long!"  
  
"Wow. Impressive."  
  
"Yeah, we liked it."  
  
She continued to explore the surroundings, ducking in and out of the little cave they had created, walking through the trees and tapping the ropes she went past. She came back to him but continued to stare at the creation. It was pretty impressive she thought, she were probably really young at the time, she knew she could never have made something like this.  
  
"You miss him don't you." She said bluntly all of a sudden.  
  
"Who?" He asked, knowing who she was talking about.  
  
She sighed slightly, as if to tell him not to play games.  
  
"I guess. You get used to it."  
  
"It's okay to miss him John."  
  
"I know." He said in a higher voice, as if he felt uncomfortable talking about it, he didn't want to make her miserable about something that happened so long ago.  
  
"Don't shut me out John. I know what it's like to lose someone you care about."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Of course. My best friend died when I was 14."  
  
"You never told me."  
  
"That's cos it happened a long time ago."  
  
"So did Bobby."  
  
"Yeah but you still know people who knew him, you still have to talk and think about him all the time."  
  
"Why don't you talk about her to me?"  
  
"It's not that interesting is it."  
  
"Maybe not. But I'd still like to know. I wanna know everything about your past Abby. Bad and good."  
  
"You're missing the point John. This isn't about me. It's about you. And your brother who died when you were young of something that you couldn't fix."  
  
"I didn't think I could anyway."  
  
"You didn't." She said matter of fatly, knowing he felt responsible partly.  
  
He looked down, it bothered him that she could read him like a book. It was obvious to her that he blamed himself, but he didn't want to explain really. Not even to her.  
  
"Why is it such a big deal?" He said loudly.  
  
"Because it is!" She replied calmly.  
  
"Well I don't think it is!"  
  
"You're wrong John."  
  
"And I suppose you're right?"  
  
"This time yeah."  
  
He looked up. She had a look on her face which told him to be scared, she wouldn't judge him, he knew that. But he hadn't ever really talked about Bobby's death, especially not to Abby.  
  
"It's okay to be afraid John." She continued.  
  
"No..it's not." He said quietly.  
  
She could see he was trying desperately to hold back the tears. It wasn't the right time for him to get upset. Not here, he didn't intend to bring up the past. He just wanted to show her his childhood. He should have known she would try and make him open up about Bobby. Now it was too late, he couldn't pretend not to be upset, she knew he was, she knew him too well. She moved her hand up to his face and cupped his cheek, pulling his face up slightly to look at her.  
  
"Yeah. It is." She said reassuringly.  
  
She stared into his eyes, she could feel his pain now, he could feel her strength, her strength which told him it was okay to cry. And then, a tear slowly ran down his face and he sunk his head into her shoulder. She sighed, relieved he had let go. She rubbed the back of his neck soothingly, whispering words of comfort into his ear. She told him they were going to be okay, he was going to be okay. He felt helpless, like it should be him comforting her, but this time, it was the other way round. She didn't mind, she was happy he let her comfort him, this time it was her turn to be the strong one.  
  
Half an hour later they found themselves still in the same place, sitting lying against the large tree in the centre of the play area. Abby leant against the tree while Carter lay with his head on her lap, breathing slowly, and recalling stories from his childhood with Bobby and the infamous tree house. Happy times, sad times, all the times there was a story to be told, he told it. There were so many that they didn't realise how long they'd been sitting there until Abby saw Carter's watch as he slid it down his arm after it had moved up. It was 2.15. They had 15 minutes then they were leaving paradise and returning to the frozen depths of Chicago. Abby sat up slowly to see Carter lying with his eyes closed.  
  
"John are you sleeping?!" Abby said laughing slightly.  
  
"No! I was just resting my eyes." He replied, a little hurt.  
  
"Sure you were. We gotta go."  
  
"Where?" He said rubbing his eyes.  
  
"The plane. It's leaving in 15 minutes."  
  
"Oh dammit." He said as he got up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I got something in my foot."  
  
"Oh don't be such a baby. Lemme see."  
  
"No I'll do it." He said stepping back.  
  
"Come on! Let me see it!"  
  
"It's just a thorn or something."  
  
"Well then it's no big deal!"  
  
She moved closer to him as he tripped up on the stick which was poking out the ground, landing on his bum very hard. Abby tried to stifle her laughter and tried to help him up.  
  
"Are you okay?!" She said laughing a little.  
  
"Yeah just peachy thanks."  
  
"Come on John don't be grouchy." She said, giving him her puppy dog look, she knew he wouldn't stay mad at her long.  
  
"Don't do that! It always works!"  
  
"I know that's why I do it."  
  
"You're evil you know that!"  
  
"It's a natural gift." She smirked as she held out her hand to help him up.  
  
He sighed and took her hand as she pulled him up.  
  
"Oww!" He exclaimed as he got up.  
  
"What now?!"  
  
"My back." He said quietly as he rubbed it and arched his back slightly.  
  
"Oh. You okay?"  
  
"Yeah should be fine."  
  
"Come on pansy we gotta go."  
  
"Pansy?!"  
  
"Forget it." She smiled as they walked off towards the beach together, arm in arm. 


	19. A Thousand Miles

Chapter Nineteen - A Thousand Miles  
  
"Well John, it's been a pleasure sir." Said Derek shaking John's hand as they said their goodbyes.  
  
"The pleasure was all mine Derek." Replied John smiling.  
  
"Abby. It was nice to meet you."  
  
"You too." She answered shaking his hand.  
  
"Goodbye Father." Said Carter as he shook hands with the Welsh priest.  
  
"Have a good flight Dr Carter. And Abby, you too."  
  
"Thanks Father." Said Abby clutching Carters other hand.  
  
"Congratulations by the way." Said Derek. "It was a lovely ceremony."  
  
"Yeah, it was. Thanks." Replied Abby.  
  
"Goodbye Mr doctor." Said the Puerto Rican cleaner.  
  
"Goodbye Alehandro. Thanks for keepin' the place clean."  
  
"It is no problem sir. Have good trip maam." He answered Carter, then turned to Abby.  
  
"Thank you Alehandro." Abby smiled at him as he kept nodding his head and telling them it was a pleasure to have them there. Strange little Puerto Rican.  
  
They boarded the plane, and began the 6 hour flight. Lunch was served at three. Melon for starters, and main course was a choice of lasagne or carbonara. Abby chose the carbonara but Carter stuck with the lasagne. Ham on a plane didn't sit well in his mind for some reason.  
  
"What time do we land?" Abby asked the steward as he placed the meals in front of them on the table at the side of the main lounge area.  
  
"9pm Miss."  
  
"Actually, it's Mrs." Corrected Carter smirking at Abby who was immediately embarrassed by his remark.  
  
"I apologise Maam."  
  
"It's okay. I'm not used to it either." She replied cheerfully giving Carter the evil look.  
  
He sniggered and tucked into his meal. Abby scattered parmesan cheese on her meal then began eating. They were alone in the lounge when Carter suddenly broke the silence.  
  
"Who are you gonna tell first?"  
  
"Tell what?" She asked swallowing a mouthful.  
  
He looked at her as if to say 'you know what' and she smiled and took another bite.  
  
"I don't know. If somebody asks, I'll tell them."  
  
"And if not..?"  
  
"Then I won't."  
  
"You're not going to tell anybody unless she guess?!"  
  
"Pretty much yeah."  
  
"Nobody will guess."  
  
"Oh I'll bet they will."  
  
"I'll bet they won't."  
  
"John of course they will! They definitely will when they see the ring!"  
  
"The bamboo ring. Yeah okay." He said sarcastically.  
  
"No. The ring we are going to buy tomorrow."  
  
"The ring we're going to buy tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah. That ring."  
  
"Oh. THAT ring."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What ring?!" He said trying to hide his smirk which was slowly appearing across his face.  
  
"John I'm not wearing a bamboo for the rest of our married life!"  
  
"Why not?! I think it's unique."  
  
"Unique. Yeah. Ugly. Yeah."  
  
"Oh come on it's not that bad!"  
  
"Oh it so is." "Fine fine. Whatever you say MRS Carter." He sniggered and continue to eat his meal.  
  
"Less of the Mrs please."  
  
"What's the problem?!"  
  
"It makes me feel..old."  
  
"Old? Well then how do you think it makes me feel?!"  
  
"I seem to remember that your name doesn't change when you get married therefore it shouldn't make you feel any different!"  
  
"I didn't mean MY name."  
  
"What then?" She said, losing her patience a little while Carter continued his wind up.  
  
"I meant how do you think it makes me feel being married to someone 'old'."  
  
"Very funny John."  
  
He laughed and took a sip of his distilled water he had just poured.  
  
"I thought it was."  
  
"I can see that!" She replied.  
  
She put another mouthful in her mouth, trying her best not to laugh at his immature joke but failed miserably. She stifled a laugh and then finally a huge smile spread across her face and she laughed with him. He laughed more when she laughed, it wasn't nearly as much fun when it was just him. He loved her smile, that smile when she laughed was so beautiful. He didn't think she could get any more beautiful, but every time he saw her he was proved wrong. The more time he spent with her, the more he loved her even more than the last time. They hadn't really been apart from each other for longer than a few minutes for the past few weeks and that's the way he wanted it to stay. He loved them, together, as a couple, always together, never apart. It was, heaven. Cliché he knew, heaven didn't exist. But when he was with her, it did, and everything else seemed to fall into place because of her.  
  
"I love your smile." He said as he continued to watch her beaming across the table.  
  
"Thank you." She replied, slightly embarrassed by his random comment. "You'd think I'd be used to your compliments by now!"  
  
"Maybe. It could just mean I don't say it enough for you to realise I'm not lying." He replied, matter of fatly.  
  
"Could be. Or it could just be that you are actually lying out of your back teeth so you can get me into bed."  
  
"Oh would I?!"  
  
"I don't know. Probably."  
  
"You're so wrong!" He chuckled as he stuffed another spoonful of lasagne in his mouth.  
  
"Nice?"  
  
"It's okay. Nothing special. Yours?"  
  
"It's good actually. Better than how you cook it." She smirked and carried on eating.  
  
"That's not nice! Especially as it's plane food!"  
  
"Shows how good your cooking is."  
  
"You're so gonna regret that!"  
  
She laughed and placed her spoon and fork next to each to signify that she'd finished.  
  
"I'm stuffed."  
  
"Me too." He sighed as he put his cutlery together too. "So what do you wanna do?!" He said, lifting one eyebrow as he moved and collapsed onto the couch.  
  
"Well.." She began, as she slowly got up and moved over to sit with him on the sofa. "I've got some ideas.." She continued as she moved in for a kiss.  
  
"Actually.." He stopped her as she came close to kissing him and put a finger against her lips. "I was hoping to catch the game."  
  
She looked at him and was a bit shocked to say the least. She moved back and went over to the other couch.  
  
"Fine." She said as she crossed her arms.  
  
"Fine." He said back casually as he flicked on the remote.  
  
She sat in a huff for a while as Carter tried to hide his smile. He loved to wind her up, she was so cute when she was angry. He continued to watch the 'game' which he was totally uninterested in, while Abby kept sighing loudly and trying to get his attention. 'It was working!' he thought as he crossed his arms and laid back a little supposedly watching the 'oh so important' game. This carried on for ten minutes when finally she got up and announced she was going to the bathroom.  
  
"Kay." He answered her statement not taking his eyes away from the TV.  
  
She walked out quite loudly and closed the door to the bathroom pretty hard that it made Carter jump suddenly. He laughed to himself and got up. He locked the other door so the crew couldn't come in, and the only other entrance was from the toilet into the main lounging area, where Abby was going to reappear any minute. He tidied the place up and switched off the TV.  
  
All blinds were closed, soft music was put on, Enya obviously, and candles were lit. He scattered those dried petals over the silk sheets of the bed and poured them both some sparkling cider. He waited for a while when after ten minutes, Abby had still not returned. He thought this was weird so he got up and went to the door.  
  
"Abby honey are you okay?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
Still silence.  
  
"Abby! Answer me!" He became a little worried.  
  
Then he heard muffled sounds, and something which sounded like a reply.  
  
"What?" He said eagerly, trying to make out her quiet words.  
  
"I'm locked in dammit." Abby repeated.  
  
"You're what?!" Carter replied, trying his best not to laugh.  
  
"The door won't open. It's stuck." She said irritably.  
  
"Oh that's okay it's always playing up."  
  
"Easy for you to say you're not in here." She replied sarcastically.  
  
"It's okay just lift it up slightly and push to the left, then it should unlock."  
  
He heard a shuffle and the lock suddenly clicked. She appeared looking pretty pissed off and not amused.  
  
"That, was not funny." She said as she saw the amusement on his face.  
  
"I'm not laughing."  
  
"I don't blame you, I'd laugh."  
  
"I'm sorry. It's funny though." He laughed.  
  
"I'm surprised you noticed being so involved in the game."  
  
"Well I needed a drink!"  
  
"You'll be lucky. I'll bet the game was boring too."  
  
"I was really enjoying it actually!"  
  
"I'm sure." She replied, still a little annoyed.  
  
"Come on, watch it with me." He said as he pushed her towards the door.  
  
"It's not really my thing."  
  
"Come on, it'll be great!" He said enthusiastically as he shoved her into the room.  
  
"No I.." She broke off when she saw the room.  
  
It was like their first time. Petals, music, candles. It was, perfect.  
  
"So am I forgiven?!" He asked sorrowfully.  
  
"I guess!" She said slowly, still taking it all in.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd take it seriously."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The game. I wasn't really watching it. I just wanted you to leave for a bit so I could prepare!"  
  
"Prepare for what?!" She said seductively as she turned around to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
They kissed for a while when Abby suddenly stopped and pushed him away.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked surprised.  
  
"The door. It's not locked."  
  
"It's locked."  
  
"It isn't I went through it a while ago!"  
  
"I'm pretty sure it is."  
  
"Did you lock it?"  
  
"Maybe." He said with a cheeky smirk. "And I put the 'Do not disturb' notice up."  
  
She smiled mischievously and wrapped her arms around his neck again.  
  
"Well I guess there's only one more thing to do then.." She said as she moved closer for another kiss.  
  
The rest of the flight was spent in bed. Making love, talking about love, being in love, just love. A thousand miles went by so quickly that when they landed they were still in bed, albeit with the bed belts buckled after the announcement minutes before.  
  
"The flights' gone pretty quickly." Said Abby as she moved in for another kiss.  
  
"It has. I'm pretty tired actually!"  
  
"I should hope so! If you weren't then I'd be worried."  
  
"Didn't you know I'm Superman?!"  
  
"If you were I wouldn't have you!"  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"Cos I'd be with somebody else, preferably exactly like you!"  
  
"Oh well I guess that's fair." He chuckled back and returned her another kiss.  
  
(Announcement) "Thank you for flying with Hartley's airline Mr and Mrs. Carter, we hope you enjoyed your stay and your flight with us."  
  
"I guess that's us!" Said Abby as she grabbed her bra which was hanging from the light on the wall.  
  
"Awww do we have to?!"  
  
"Not unless you wanna stay on the plane!"  
  
"That's sounds appealing..!"  
  
"On your own may I add!"  
  
"Not so appealing."  
  
"I didn't think it would be!"  
  
"I really don't want this to be over." He said regretfully.  
  
She stopped fussing about where her jeans had gone and walked slowly over to him.  
  
"Me neither." She said stroking his hair. "But we gotta go back to work sometime."  
  
"Yeah, I know." He said sorrowfully sighing as he clambered out of bed and grabbed his crumpled shirt off the floor.  
  
They set about clearing up the mess they had created and got their hand luggage together. Carter unlocked the door and waited for Abby to walk through before he followed.  
  
"Thank you for the wonderful flight Jerry." Said Carter as he passed one of the stewards as he got off.  
  
"You're very welcome sir. Maam. It was our pleasure."  
  
"Thank you." Said Abby. Slightly embarrassed as this wasn't the first time she had been called Maam.  
  
They walked down the stairs leading off the plane and stepped onto the solid ground of Chicago.  
  
"Do I look like a Maam to you?" Abby said suddenly as they were collecting their baggage underneath the plane.  
  
"No. Why?" Answered John confused.  
  
"Cos I've been called it so many times recently I'm beginning to think I'm ageing by the day!"  
  
"Of course you're not! You'll always be beautiful to me anyway, even if you have got a few wrinkles." He winked and lifted their baggage onto the trolley.  
  
"Ha ha. Seriously though, do you think I look old enough to be a Maam?" She continued.  
  
Carter sighed and turned around to her with her arms crossed frowning to herself.  
  
"Abby, they were just being polite. People call my nine year old second cousin Jenna 'Maam', so I wouldn't let it bother you."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"No it's not 'I guess', it's 'yes John you're right'!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Let me hear you say it otherwise we're not going home."  
  
"Yes John you're right!"  
  
"Thank you." He smiled, gave her a peck on the nose and continued stacking their bags.  
  
"Hey, you know what?"  
  
"What?" He said as he carried on with his back to her.  
  
"You just said when we get 'home'." She replied.  
  
"Yeah!" He replied excitedly. "Home. Our home!" He repeated.  
  
"Our home." She said calmly.  
  
He stopped what he was doing and turned back around to Abby who was smiling so much she thought her face would stay that way. He leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips as she tilted her head to reach him. She moved her hands around his waist and tucked her hands into his belt at the back.  
  
"I can't wait." He said smiling.  
  
They kissed again and Carter decided it wasn't his job to load the bags anyway so they asked Alger to carry them when he appeared, and walked closely together in the same position, to the car. 


	20. Only Time

Chapter Twenty - Only Time  
  
It had been two hours since the plane landed, and Carter and Abby hadn't returned home yet. There was some place they had to be first. Alger dropped them off then took their bags to their new home. An hour passed as they sat on their bench. Their bench. You know, their bench. The bench where secrets were told, secrets were kept, secrets were created. There was a lot of history attached to it, therefore a lot of meaning.  
  
"Remember that time when we were here, when we had all those criticals come in."  
  
She looked at him strangely, she obviously didn't.  
  
"You know, the guy who shot all those people cos his son got taken away."  
  
"Oh. Kinda." She said sarcastically.  
  
"Do you remember what I said to you?" He asked interested.  
  
"Vaguely." She said, she seemed uninterested and looked out to the river.  
  
"What were you thinking?" He asked.  
  
She looked at him confused again.  
  
"I mean when I told you."  
  
Again, confused.  
  
"How I felt." He said, making a statement.  
  
A small smile appeared on her face.  
  
"So you do remember?!" He said smiling.  
  
"How could I forget?!"  
  
He laughed as she smirked and looked away again.  
  
"What did you think. When I told you. I mean, were you angry or pleased, or..I dunno."  
  
"I seem to remember feeling confused. Which is no change for me whenever I was around you. But then when you left, and I saw you walking away, I felt.." She broke off. It was hard telling him after all they'd been through.  
  
"You felt what?" He asked inquisitively.  
  
"I dunno. I guess, I guess I felt empty." She suddenly said.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Like I'd lost you. I mean, it was all very well you telling me what you did, but you didn't wait for my reaction. You just left. Leaving me feeling empty and alone basically."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to feel that way."  
  
"I know. I guess I was shocked too, I mean, I never knew you liked me back."  
  
"Back?" He said surprised.  
  
"Yeah." She said lowering her head and smirking a little embarrassed.  
  
"I liked you before you said anything."  
  
"You did?!"  
  
"Yeah." She sighed.  
  
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"  
  
"Cos it was never the right timing! When I first met you, and I was a med student, it would have been inappropriate to say anything. Then..then you know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Valentine's Day. Then I had to tell Weaver about the drugs, which was pretty hard considering I kinda looked up to you as a doctor."  
  
"You did?!" He sounded surprised.  
  
"Of course! The great John Carter, doctor extraordinaire! I'd heard so much about you in OB. I was petrified when I first met you!"  
  
"Really?! That's so adorable." He said soothingly and pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders."  
  
"Yeah, so I pretended I didn't care and acted like you were nobody!"  
  
"Ha! So that's why you weren't impressed when I tried to talk to you on the roof!"  
  
"You remember that?!"  
  
"Of course I remember it. I remember thinking you were beautiful. And then when you told me you were getting divorced, I couldn't believe it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I couldn't understand why anybody would want to divorce you." He said as if it was nothing.  
  
"That's sweet John. But trust me, you'll feel the same in a couple of years."  
  
"I don't think so. If I do then you can sue me for lying!"  
  
"Done."  
  
"So you liked me..when?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, exactly when did you realise you liked me."  
  
"What, faced up to it, or actually started feeling for you?"  
  
"Uhh, both."  
  
"Well..feeling, I think it was when I saw you in Docs after you got back from rehab. You looked great and then you asked me about the drinking. Looking at it now I think maybe we became such good friends was because you caught me at the meeting, I knew we had to be close cos nobody knew about my drinking."  
  
"And facing up?"  
  
"Probably when my Mom came and the place blew up."  
  
"Oh when I carried you to the bed and had to check you out?"  
  
"Yeah. I was so embarrassed. And she wouldn't shut up! God, I was sitting there thinking, 'how bad does this look?!'"  
  
"Really?! That's sweet."  
  
"Well what do you expect? Luka helped the patient!"  
  
"I can see how it happened then!"  
  
"Completely." She said continuing the semi joke.  
  
"You're quite hard to impress really aren't you?"  
  
"Very."  
  
"So if that guy hadn't of been smoking and made the place blow up, and if I hadn't of saved you first then you would never have even considered going out with me?!"  
  
"Probably not!"  
  
"Well, I think I owe that man a word of thanks!"  
  
"Didn't he die?"  
  
She looked at him and he had a slight smirk on his face. Slowly a smile spread across her face and they started laughing.  
  
"I have no idea! I don't think so..I hope not."  
  
"I'll bet he never thought smoking would kill in that way!"  
  
"John that's not funny." She said trying to stifle her laughter.  
  
"Oh come on, he's probably fine."  
  
"I hope so for your sake!"  
  
"So, you ready to go home?"  
  
"Now?!"  
  
"No next week. Of course now!"  
  
"Yeah." She sighed.  
  
"You don't sound too sure?"  
  
"It's not that, it's just I don't want this holiday to be over."  
  
"It's not over unless you make it over."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well we start work tomorrow, which means we still have the rest of the evening to enjoy."  
  
"And what are you planning on doing?!"  
  
"Ahhh all will be revealed my sweet!"  
  
"I think I like the sound of that."  
  
"Great. Let's go then."  
  
He held his hand out for her as he got up and pulled her up towards him. He kissed her gently before turning to walk to the car, still clutching her hand. She followed silently as he dragged her to the car, smiling all the way.  
  
The drive home was mostly silent, apart from the occasional hum from either person, the radio wasn't much that day.  
  
'Who can say where the road goes, where the days flows, Only Time.'  
  
"I like this song." Said Abby solemnly.  
  
"It's alright. Kinda sad though don't you think?"  
  
"Of course. But I still like it."  
  
"Yeah." He replied, still concentrating on the road ahead, glancing sporadically at Abby who remained solemn the whole journey.  
  
"You okay sweety?" He asked after five minutes silence.  
  
She turned her head away from the window and smiled mildly at him. She nodded her head weakly then returned to the window.  
  
"You know, there's a myth that if your face has the same look for a long period of time then it'll stay that way if the wind changes."  
  
"You really believe in that?" She asked, still looking out the window.  
  
"Well I hope it's not true, for my sake as well as yours!"  
  
She smiled at him again weakly and squeezed his hand lightly.  
  
"I'm sorry John. It's just this song. It makes me think."  
  
He sighed knowingly, he gently put his hand on her hand which had moved back to her leg, and took it. She looked up at him and he looked into her eyes, reassuring her that everything was okay. He squeezed her hand and held it the whole way home. 


	21. Wonderful Tonight

Chapter Twenty One - Wonderful Tonight  
  
8pm - Carter Residence  
  
"Honey - Where'd you put my tool box?!" Called Carter as he searched through the garage which was full of empty boxes and various garbage bags, all full of pointless items neither one of them could part with in the move.  
  
"On the second shelf!" She called from the kitchen.  
  
"What shelf?!" He shouted.  
  
"By the door!"  
  
"Where?!" He shouted again, feeling frustrated as he still couldn't find it.  
  
"God do I have to find everything?" Abby silently muttered as she went to the side garage door which was attached to the kitchen. "There." She said confidently as she grabbed it off the shelf and placed it in his hands.  
  
"Thank you." He said graciously and proceeded to search through it.  
  
"Why do you want it anyway?!"  
  
"The wardrobe door in our bedroom is broken."  
  
"Can't you leave it till the weekend?"  
  
"No cos it squeaks when it opens."  
  
"So?"  
  
"It keeps swinging open and shut by itself."  
  
"John I don't think it's a good idea for you to fix it."  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"Cos you're crap at DIY."  
  
"Oh thanks! If this is the thanks I get for fixing stuff I won't bother next time!"  
  
"I'd prefer it if you kept to medicine." She laughed and walked out back to the meal she was cooking in the kitchen.  
  
He was stunned but it was kinda funny, and she was right, he was crap at DIY. Well the door wasn't gonna be fixed any other way so he decided to have a go regardless of the fact that he was crap. He carried his toolbox upstairs and began surgery on the door. Abby meanwhile was cooking her favourite, casserole. She went to watch some TV while it was cooking, when she began to smell burning coming from the kitchen. She got up quickly and ran into the kitchen to see smoke coming from the pot on the stove.  
  
"Shit!" She remarked as she walked to the black pot. "Dammit!" She exclaimed as she shook her hand away as she touched the boiling hot surface. "Good goin' Abby." She muttered to herself as she sighed and lifted the pot to pour the contents down the waste sink. "Now what are we gonna eat?"  
  
She looked around the room with her hands on hers hips looking frustrated. She spotted a take away menu on the side with a note on top. She walked over and picked up the note which read:  
  
'How's the cooking going? Mine's a large with extra pepperoni.'  
  
She laughed at the note, Damn him! She sighed, even though he was right she was still a bit pissed off that he knew she couldn't cook. She walked to the wall and picked up the receiver. She dialled the number on the leaflet and waited for an answer.  
  
"Yeah hi, can I order a pizza to be delivered? Yeah. I'll have one large pepperoni with extra pepperoni, and a large cheese pizza. 105 Severn Drive. It's the big one at the end. Okay bye."  
  
She replaced the receiver and pinned the leaflet on the pin board next to the phone. She figured they'd be using it again pretty soon. She didn't know why she'd ordered a large, she never finished them. They were so big it would take her 2 days to finish. Oh well, Carter can finish it. Just then he came into the kitchen with goggles on and a hammer in his hand.  
  
"Oh my God! You look ridiculous!" She laughed as he stood in the door covered in sawdust.  
  
"Ha ha. I couldn't do it."  
  
"What?" She asked. Then she realised. "I told you! Leave it to the experts!"  
  
"I almost did."  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
"But now the doors' come off."  
  
"Off what?!"  
  
"The wall."  
  
"John! So we have no door now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Great."  
  
"Well at least it doesn't creak anymore!"  
  
"There's gonna be a huge draft now!"  
  
"It's okay, I'll be there to keep you warm!"  
  
"You might be sleepin' on the couch if you go on like this!" She exclaimed.  
  
"I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault the door was a bad one!"  
  
"You broke it!"  
  
"I resent that!"  
  
Abby rolled her eyes and walked over to the counter, lifting herself up onto it and curling over looking at the floor. Carter took off the goggles and walked over to her. She sighed and looked away, looking out the window at the now full moon that had appeared. He put his hands on her thighs but she still looked away. He lifted one hand to her face and shifted it gently to face him. She looked a little sad, and he tried to make her feel better with that look he was so good at giving.  
  
"I'm sorry Abby. I should have listened to you. No more DIY I promise." He said quietly.  
  
"Forget it Carter."  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I just wanted this night to be perfect."  
  
"It will be trust me." He reassured her once again.  
  
She lifted her eyes from the floor and stared deep into his eyes. A small smile was apparent on his lips as he moved a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.  
  
"Now, what's for dinner?" He said sarcastically after kissing her nose gently.  
  
"Very funny John."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You knew it would burn!"  
  
"I can't help it if your cooking sucks!"  
  
"And yours is any better is it?!"  
  
"Well I can't beat you on that but it does suck."  
  
"It does not!"  
  
"Does too. Big time."  
  
"Well lucky for you I took the initiative of ordering pizza."  
  
"Yeah only cos I left it out for you!"  
  
"Yeah but I could have ignored it!"  
  
"You could. Then you would have looked even more stupid."  
  
He laughed a little and she tried to hide her giggle. He tucked another piece of hair behind her ear and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tightly before kissing her neck behind her ear and whispering something to her as he continued his assault. She giggled and lulled her head back wanting him to carry on. They carried on for a while until the doorbell went.  
  
"Ahh." Sighed Carter as he pulled back unwillingly as Abby jumped off the counter and grabbed her purse.  
  
She fumbled through it to find a dollar and some gum in a tissue.  
  
"I haven't got any money." She said flatly, slamming her purse down on the side.  
  
"Here." He said handing her a twenty and kissing the top of her head.  
  
"Thanks." She said before turning to answer the door.  
  
He sauntered off to the garage, toolbox in hand to put it back to its place on the shelf. It would probably stay there now and collect more dust like it had in his apartment. Abby walked silently to the door and turned the handle to open the door. It was stuck a little so she had to tug it a bit to shift it.  
  
"Damn thing!" She muttered.  
  
The handle eventually gave way after a few hard tugs and the door swung open to reveal somebody she wasn't expecting.  
  
"Abigail. How nice to see you. I'm sorry to interrupt you on your first night at home but I must see John. It's urgent."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I really must see John. Is he home?"  
  
"Of course. Please come in."  
  
Abby opened the door more so the visitor could walk through, and showed her into the kitchen.  
  
"Did you get the.." Carter cut off as he walked into the kitchen to see the woman standing next to Abby. 


	22. Live Forever

Chapter Twenty Two - Live Forever  
  
"Mom!" Carter exclaimed.  
  
"John."  
  
"What are you doing here?!" He said excitedly as he hurried over to greet her.  
  
He kissed her on the cheek and waited expectantly for the reason for her visit.  
  
"I'm afraid it's not good news John." She said sadly, looking down at the floor.  
  
"Why? What's happened?"  
  
She glanced around nervously at her surroundings then returned to Carter who was now getting a bit worried.  
  
"Mom what's happened?"  
  
"It's Millicent. There's been an accident."  
  
John's heart stopped.  
  
"Gamma?" He silently muttered.  
  
"She had a fall. She's been taken to hospital. We had to ring an ambulance."  
  
"Oh my God. Well we've gotta go down there!" He said hurriedly as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door.  
  
"John!" Eleanor shouted before he could leave.  
  
He swung around and looked at his Mother.  
  
"Be prepared for the worst. I think it's time." She said sadly, as she watched in pain at her sons mortified face.  
  
He stood dead to the spot and waited for somebody to get hold of the situation and tell him what to do.  
  
"John?" Abby prodded. "John?"  
  
"Huh what?" He said suddenly, a little dazed.  
  
"Do you want me to come?"  
  
"No it's okay stay here."  
  
"No I want to." She replied.  
  
"You don't have.." He began.  
  
"I want to." She interrupted.  
  
"Okay come on." He said as all three of them hurried out the door.  
  
Abby left the twenty on the doorstep and followed them quickly to the car. Eleanor got into her Rolls and followed John and Abby closely in the jeep all the way to the hospital. The ride was tense. Abby gently held John's hand the whole way as he drove, his eyes focused on the road. Every so often she would squeeze his hand just to let him know she was there. He would acknowledge her by smiling weakly at the corner of his mouth then return to his driving. It seemed like the hospital was miles away, he just wanted to be there. He couldn't believe it had happened. It was all so sudden. One minute he was having a quiet night in at his new home with his new wife, whom hadn't really been introduced to his family as his wife yet, and the next minute he was on his way to the hospital to see his dying Grand Mother. He knew his life was too good to be true, this was the bed thing that ended the run of good things.  
  
After what seemed like forever, they arrived at the hospital. By this time it was pouring down with rain and the ambulance bay was filled with random puddles. John jumped out the car and turned to face Abby.  
  
"Go. I'll park."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes go!" She shouted as he smiled at her and slammed the door.  
  
He ran into the ER and to the admin area.  
  
"Hey Cart.." Said Randi as he interrupted her.  
  
"Randi where's my Grand Mother."  
  
"I don't know I just got here." She replied confused.  
  
"Who's been here longer then?"  
  
"Dr Lewis. Exam One."  
  
He spun around and went to find Susan. Sure enough there she was wrapping a man's arm in a sling.  
  
"Carter!" She exclaimed when she saw him burst in. "Trauma Two. I'm sorry John."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"I'm just sorry."  
  
He looked confused but decided to ignore it as he had somewhere else to be. He ran out the room and straight to the trauma room. He looked inside through the glass doors. There she was. Resting peacefully on the gurney. Was she stable? He slowly pushed open the swinging double doors and cautiously stepped inside the trauma room. The room was messy. Used gloves on the floor, tissue and other kinds of debris all around. There was an eerie silence apart from the quiet sound of the ventilator. It was like something out of a dream. He should have been used to this, but he knew this person. This person lying on the gurney, almost lifeless, and he felt helpless. There should have been something he could do, but there wasn't. At that point Haleh came in to change the saline bag.  
  
"Dr Carter. I'm sorry."  
  
Carter nodded at her in thanks. He couldn't talk right now. There was a lump in his throat and he knew it wouldn't leave until he knew Gamma was alright. Alive or dead, she had to be alright. Haleh walked out and left Carter in the room alone with the frail old lady on the gurney. He knew this would happen eventually, but why now? Why at a moment when he thought life couldn't get any better? Things always came and bit him in the ass, but this had to the worst. The only other thing that could be worse would be if it was..no, don't even think of it. Abby was fine.  
  
He shook his head, as if that would get rid of these thoughts. He took another step closer until he was at her side. Her arms lay lifeless next to her thin body, and her chest rose every now and then. He could see it wouldn't be long now. He wanted to be able to talk to her, to tell her how much he loved her, but that seemed impossible now. His hand reached out cautiously to find hers. He felt the outside of her hand, cold, ice cold, and seemed like there was nothing left of her now. Now movement at his touch, but he grasped her hand in the hope she would recover. No luck. A chair in the corner of the room seemed an appropriate place for him. He moved it next to her and sat, still clutching her hand, watching and waiting for any sign of her awakening. Minutes passed but still nothing. Not so that you'd notice. Every now and then she would sigh, but still her eyes remained tightly shut, and her chest still rose at different times, not a pattern like normal. He sighed, it looked like there was nothing left for her now. Until.  
  
Without warning, her eyes flickered slightly open, just enough for her to grasp where she was. John noticed and a smile spread across his face. She was awake.  
  
"Gamma?"  
  
"John, is that you?"  
  
"Gamma it's me. I'm here. Thought we'd lost you for a minute."  
  
She laughed a little.  
  
"You can't get rid of me that easily." She joked, smiling a little, even though it looked like a strain.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Not as young as I used to be I suppose John, but other than that I'm fine."  
  
"Are you sure? Do you want me to get you anything?"  
  
"Oh stop fussing John I'm fine."  
  
"I'm sure they'll move you as soon as a bed is free."  
  
"Well now that you mention it I'll be better when I get out of this dump. How do you work here John?"  
  
"It's part of the job Gamma."  
  
"Enough about me anyway. How was your break with Abigail?"  
  
"Yeah it was great actually."  
  
"I see you look well John."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Just then, Abby tapped on the glass of the doors. Carter turned his head to see her standing there looking worried. She was so cute when she looked like that.  
  
"Don't leave the poor girl standing there John tell her to come in!" Millicent demanded.  
  
John motioned for Abby to come in, and cautiously she stepped in, quietly closing the doors behind her. She walked to the other side John was sitting of Millicent and softly leaned in to kiss her.  
  
"Hi Mrs Carter how are you feeling?"  
  
"It's Gamma dear. And I'm fine. John was just going on about that. Did you have a good trip dear?"  
  
"Yeah it was really great thank you. I just wanted to thank you for it."  
  
"For what Abigail?"  
  
"The gift Gamma." Said John. "You've given us the island."  
  
"Oh that. Well I have no use for it anymore do I?!" She joked.  
  
"It was so nice thank you." Said Abby, who had now taken a seat next to the gurney.  
  
"Come sit here." Said John, pointing to a spot next to him.  
  
Abby smiled and moved her seat around next to him.  
  
"You two look like the perfect couple sitting there." Observed Millicent, who looked like she was struggling a little to breathe.  
  
"Thank you." Said John, who was feeling a little agitated. Abby could sense this, so she squeezed his hand as she held it and smiled at him, letting him know it was okay.  
  
"You okay?" Abby said quietly.  
  
He nodded his head, then kissed her head softly to thank her. Maybe there was light at the end of the tunnel, but all John wanted right now was to know what was going to happen. It was just a waiting game from now on till the end. He knew it all too well, from past experiences at his work, and with Bobby. Gamma was pretending she was alright, but he knew it was a cover. How much longer would it be?  
  
"I'm a little tired John." Said Millicent who looked like she was drifting off.  
  
"We'll give you some peace then Gamma." He kissed the top of her head then turned to walk out.  
  
Suddenly the monitor began to beep faster and more frequently. He panicked, he couldn't help her, it was too much for him to handle. Abby ran out the trauma room to get someone.  
  
"Susan! Gallant! Get in here!" She commanded when she saw them standing at the admin desk eating donuts with Frank.  
  
"What is it?!" Susan called as they both ran into the trauma room.  
  
Millicent was fitting now, and all John could do was stand and watch. Susan ran to her and began working.  
  
"Get him out Abby!" She shouted, as John still stood, motionless to the spot, staring mouth open at his dying Grand Mother.  
  
"Come on John." Abby pulled him back and outside the room. They watched in silence as the two doctors worked on Gamma. Haleh and Chuny had heard what had happened and were now in there lending a hand to Susan and Gallant.  
  
"What's goin' on Carter?" Shouted a voice from behind him.  
  
He ignored it and continued watching the scene in front of him. Abby turned to see Weaver standing behind them looking angry.  
  
"It's his Grand Mother Dr Weaver."  
  
Kerry looked in to see what was going on and pushed through to get in, shoving Carter out the way in order to help.  
  
"What have we got?" Asked Kerry as she put on her gloves.  
  
Back outside the trauma room, Carter and Abby still watched on as the drama continued. She grasped his hand, but it wasn't enough. There was no movement from him, or Millicent. His facial expression remained unmoved and he stayed glued to the spot, with Abby next to him, trying unsuccessfully to reassure him.  
  
"It's gonna be alright John." She tried, but still nothing.  
  
He squeezed her hand as a reply but he still remained undeterred and watching his Grand Mother lying on the gurney.  
  
"Charge to 200!" Ordered Susan.  
  
Carter saw and knew Gamma wouldn't want machines.  
  
"No Susan!" He shouted as he barged in. "She didn't want that."  
  
"What do you want me to do Carter?"  
  
He remained silent, as the heart monitor became louder and louder, he didn't know what she wanted.  
  
"Carter!" Susan pushed.  
  
"Nothing. She wanted nothing." He sighed.  
  
Everybody stopped and looked at him. Abby silently slid in behind him and pushed him towards the gurney. Gamma lay, now motionless, but still vaguely awake.  
  
"Everybody out." Said Weaver.  
  
The staff drifted out and left Carter and Abby alone in the room with Millicent.  
  
"I'll give you a minute." Abby said turning to leave.  
  
"No. Stay." Carter looked at her with a pained expression. "Please."  
  
She walked towards him and his hand that was stretched out towards her. They took their seats once more and watched Millicent struggling to breathe.  
  
"It's okay Gamma. Just go." Carter whispered into her ear as she breathed heavily.  
  
"John." She breathed.  
  
"I'm here. It's gonna be okay."  
  
Tears were welling up in his eyes but he stayed unmoved to the spot on his seat, waiting for the inevitable.  
  
"Be happy John." Millicent sighed.  
  
"I will. I promise."  
  
"I know John. I know."  
  
"You know what?" He asked, confused but desperate for an answer.  
  
She didn't answer, she just looked at Abby, then back at John. His hand she grasped rose and she looked at his finger. Abby and Carter both looked then realised.  
  
"I know." She repeated before dropping his hand and closing her eyes, one last time.  
  
"Gamma?" Silence. "Gamma?" Still silence.  
  
"She's gone." Whispered Abby. "She's gone."  
  
The heart monitor had now become a constant noise, deafening Carter. He suddenly pushed it to the ground with a loud crash, cutting out the piercing sound. He sat back down and leaned in to kiss his Grand Mother goodbye. With his head in his hands, he cried. Abby wrapped her arms around him as he cried. He cried into her shoulder, he cried for Gamma. She was gone.  
  
Then, silence. 


	23. Rainy Days

Chapter Twenty Three - Rainy Days  
  
It had been three days since Gamma died. It was strange for John, he wished she'd been there to see him finally happy. But she knew really, deep down he looked as happy as he had ever been, and she knew it was down to one thing, or one person. Abby stayed at his side that whole night, he cried for hours, but she stayed with him. If she moved involuntarily he would cling to her, as if she was leaving him. She would reassure him, saying she wasn't going anywhere. He wanted to thank her for being there, but that night it was too much. It was all too much. He didn't think he had ever felt that happy then that sad within a day. His world seemed perfect, then God went and put a spin on it again. He knew Gamma would die someday, but why when he was so happy. He felt guilty for not being there before it happened, maybe he could have helped in some way. But that was the past, she was gone, and there was nothing he could do to change that.  
  
Today was the funeral. The day he had dreaded ever since Gamma died. Funerals always sucked. But this time it would suck even more. His favourite person, except one, had died and he had to stand up there in front of god knows how many people and pretend he was okay and everything was alright. He didn't think he could do it. He spent all the night before worrying about it, Abby could feel he was restless. He tossed and turned all night long, never finding a comfortable position. He tried to comfort him in any way she could. She had reached over to him, so far away, but at the touch of his skin he flinched. He was sweating like mad and she didn't know what to make of it.  
  
"John? John sweetie you're really hot." She quietly said to him.  
  
He ignored her and carried on shaking profusely.  
  
"Honey talk to me." She tried again.  
  
She turned the bedside lamp on and moved over closer to him. The gap in between them felt so cold, she didn't like it. When she reached him he slowly turned over to face her. His face was white as a sheet but he was hot and shaking. She was really worried now, but it wasn't her who needed help now, it was him. She smoothed her hand down the side of his face, trying to calm him. He lifted his hand to hers as she moved it along his face and clutched it as if he needed her hand to hold.  
  
"Talk to me John. Please." She asked again.  
  
It was the third night they had slept so far away from each other, but this time she couldn't let it happen again. At least he wasn't ignoring her now like the night before.  
  
"I can't sleep." He stuttered suddenly.  
  
"I know honey. Is there anything I ca do for you?"  
  
"You're great just there Abby." He muttered again.  
  
His teeth were chattering at this point, but Abby kept close. She pulled him over towards him, to the middle of the huge bed. The space that had separated them was now warm from their bodies and she hugged him close to her so he knew she was there. After what seemed like forever, Carter's breathing began to steady and his teeth were now motionless. He stopped sweating now and colour began to fade into his white cheeks. Abby really was a miracle worker he thought.  
  
"Thank you." He said silently as he was lulling off to sleep by Abby's warm embrace and soft kisses every now and then on his damp, but drying, head.  
  
"Anytime." She whispered.  
  
She could see now he was sleeping. He'd given her quite a scare. For the rest of the night she held him. He hung onto her waist tightly all night, not wanting to let go. It was like if he let go, he would lose control again. She stayed close to him too, not wanting to let go. It scared her to see him in this way, but he was okay now, until the morning. She knew he would wake up and start to worry again, but there was nothing she could do about that until the time came.  
  
That time had come. They got up. He had a shower, helped by Abby washing him. It was weird, he felt weak all the time, he couldn't bring himself to wash. Now, it was time.  
  
Slowly, he got to his feet. He could feel hundreds of eyes on him, all those who were there in mourning of his Grand Mother. They had no right to be there, but he just smiled sweetly when he welcomed the guests to the 'party' at the mansion afterwards. The only person he thought should be there was him and Abby. But instead, he had to entertain 500 guests at his Grand Mother's funeral. The walk up to the stand was the hardest. The longer it went on the more he panicked. When he reached the front, he stepped up to the microphone, and got out his crumpled paper with his 'speech' on. A speech. A speech was the last thing he wanted to do right now, but it was his duty apparently. He wasn't allowed to mourn; he just had to act as if everything was alright, and basically hold the whole thing together.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, but it was dry. The crumpled paper shook in his unsteady hands, and he couldn't bring himself to read it. His eyes lifted to see the crowd in front of him. He looked around at all the faces, mostly strangers, some he knew, some he liked, some he didn't. Some he loved. He looked at Abby, she was looking down. She always did that when she was nervous, she was nervous, for him. He smiled slightly at her twitching. She finally looked up and saw him staring at her. She looked deep into his eyes, and somewhere, he found strength.  
  
His mouth opened once more to speak, and this time, the words came out.  
  
"Some of you know what it's like to lose someone you love. It's not easy is it? But we all have to get through somehow. A lot of you knew Gamma through charity. She pledged a lot of her life into helping people. Every year she would organise charity events at glamorous places, and raise a lot of money so she could help people. Others of you knew Gamma through work, and others just from being friends. But some of us, knew her as family. A Mom, sister, Grand Mother, Grand Mother In-law. The list is endless."  
  
He stopped, some people were listening intently, some were trying to listen but couldn't because they had to concentrate on not crying. He began again.  
  
"In my life, I've had.a lot of problems, as I'm sure many of you know about. But I don't think I could have got over that if it weren't for her. She believed in me. In fact she was the only one who believed in me. She took care of me as if I was her own son, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. Gamma was a fixer. She was always helping people, trying to make them better, and maybe, that wasn't the best thing to do at the time, but in the end, it was."  
  
He took another deep breath. Come on John a couple more lines.  
  
"What I'm trying to say is that Gamma, she was a good person. One of the best. I know a lot of us will miss her, but maybe, she's gone to somewhere where she can help more people. Thank you."  
  
He sighed, that was it. He'd done it. Successfully with no falls, coughs, long breaks and no crying interruptions. He walked slowly back to his seat, looking briefly at his Mom and Dad who sat together at the front. Jack nodded smiling a little at John, he'd done well.  
  
Carter sat down next to Abby and folded up his speech and put it back in his pocket. Abby looked at him and smiled. He looked exhausted and nervous. She placed her hand on his and squeezed it a little. He looked down to see her hand on his and smiled. He looked at her and mouthed 'thank you' to her. He guessed she was an angel in disguise a long time ago, but he knew now, she definitely was.  
  
The after party was nothing spectacular. It was much like his Grand Father's. Everybody went back to the mansion and had weird looking appetisers in the garden whilst joining in inane conversation. Carter ignored his Mother's requests to go and talk to the guests and decided he'd go upstairs and watch some TV. Abby stayed downstairs for a while, she felt that if she did then maybe Eleanor would accept her a little more than she had done in the past. It was strange, a little déjà vu she felt whilst she stood alone in the garden sipping a glass of water. She began to walk towards the house, having enough of standing around like a piece of furniture, when she heard a voice calling her.  
  
"Abigail, would you hang on a moment?"  
  
Abby turned to see Eleanor walking towards her grasping a glass of sherry.  
  
"I just wanted to say thank you for being here. I know John appreciates it, just a shame he felt he couldn't be down here with the rest of us."  
  
"I think he's a little tired actually. I was about to go check on him."  
  
"Oh no don't be silly stay here and talk to us. I know Jack wanted a word with you, it seems you haven't had the pleasure of meeting him yet."  
  
"I haven't but I felt I should wait for a more appropriate time."  
  
"Of course. Well go to John then and we can catch up later." She touched Abby's arm gently and smiled at her, then spotted another person she felt she could talk crap to and called out to them.  
  
Abby walked into the mansion and up the stairs to the room she knew John was staying in. She was smiling to herself although she knew she shouldn't on such a day. She removed the smile from her face before entering the room, then opened the door slowly to see John asleep on the bed with the TV on. She walked slowly over to him, removing the remote from the tight grip he held on it. She switched off the TV, then put the remote on the side table. He was so cute when he was sleeping, but he looked restless. He looked tired, drained even. She wished she could just wish away all his problems but she knew that would be too easy. It was going to be hard, she knew that, but through it all she knew he would have to stay strong. It's not like the normal situation, he was a recovering addict. Alcohol and narcotics. That was it. Simple, but not. He couldn't let this get to him, and she knew she had to be strong for him now. It was her turn to save him this time.  
  
She remembered how persistent he was about going to a meeting when she got drunk at the bar when Mark died, and now she was grateful for it. She hoped he would be grateful to her if he needed her help. She hoped it wouldn't get to the stage where she would need to hope he was grateful. She hoped he would wake up and act like he was before Gamma died. She hoped he would forget. She hoped a lot of things, but she knew he wouldn't forget, she knew he wouldn't wake up and be like he was before. She knew a lot of things.  
  
She decided she'd had enough of the day. She didn't want to go and talk to Jack. Even though it did seem strange that she had never met her Father-in- Law, but regardless, she was tired, and she wanted to be near Carter. So she undressed and climbed slowly into bed. She covered Carter with the duvet, and moved closer to him. She needed to be free with him that night. She didn't know Gamma as well as John, but somehow she felt close to her. Gamma told John she liked Abby, and that pleased her. But now, she was gone, and there was nobody else who liked her in John's family. Not really anyway. Her thoughts were interrupted when Carter stirred next to her, blinking slightly to focus on the body lying close to him.  
  
"Hey." He whispered coarsely.  
  
"Sorry did I wake you?"  
  
"No no, I was kind of awake."  
  
"Kind of?"  
  
"I could hear you thinking."  
  
"What?!" She laughed a little, and began her staring contest with the ceiling.  
  
"You think too much." He commented as he moved a little to get comfortable, wrapping his legs around hers and nestling his face into her neck.  
  
"Do I?" She said sarcastically.  
  
"Yep." He answered. "Go to sleep Abby." He said before his breathing became slower and he started to fall back to sleep.  
  
She smiled at his comment. It was true. She did think too much. But that was her way to working through problems, problems she couldn't talk to him about right now. They were about him, helping him. Somewhere in between her thoughts, she drifted off to sleep. Guess she took his advice. 


	24. Family Portrait Part One

Chapter Twenty Four - Family Portrait  
  
ER - Admit Area - 1pm  
  
Four days later, John still hadn't returned to work, and Weaver was getting slightly impatient. Abby had gone back after a day; food still needed to be put on the table and the mortgage wasn't paying itself. Abby had told Weaver why he hadn't gone back, he was still pretty upset, what did she expect? But as Abby began explaining the situation to Weaver again, Carter walked through the doors and into the lounge.  
  
"Did you know he was coming back today?"  
  
"No. He didn't say anything this morning."  
  
Abby walked off and into the lounge to find out what he was doing.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well." He began, as he put his bag in his locker and put on his coat. "I decided it wasn't fair for you to be here earning while I sat at home doing nothing. I can be more productive this way."  
  
"You didn't have to. I don't mind."  
  
"I know you don't. But I do." He said simply, smiling and then kissing her head lightly as he walked out to the admit desk to collect his first patient.  
  
"John you didn't need to come back today. You could have called me and we could have worked something out."  
  
"I didn't think that was necessary, no reason to make a big deal out of it."  
  
"You should have called John. We don't need you today."  
  
Carter looked up from the charts at Kerry and saw her staring at him.  
  
"You're sending me home."  
  
"I'm asking you to come back tomorrow."  
  
Carter was annoyed now. What was the point? He might as well of stayed at home. He smiled irritated at Weaver and slammed his files back down onto the desk. He turned and stormed back into the lounge and opened his locker. Abby was still in there, drinking a coffee and reading a magazine, some crap no doubt.  
  
"What's goin' on?" She asked surprised as he barged in almost making her spill her coffee.  
  
"Weaver's sending me home."  
  
"What?! Why?"  
  
"She doesn't need me today apparently." He said sarcastically.  
  
She sighed and poured the rest of her coffee down the sink. She stood leaning against the side with her arms folded.  
  
"And you're pissed because.?"  
  
"Cos I didn't need to come all the way down here!" He shouted as he slammed his lab coat back into his locker.  
  
"Don't get mad at me I didn't make you come."  
  
"Yeah but you didn't tell me I wasn't needed."  
  
"You didn't ask!"  
  
He laughed and slammed his locker door shut, putting his bag on his shoulder and began walking towards the door.  
  
"Don't turn this around on me."  
  
He stopped in his tracks and stood facing the door. His shoulders relaxed and he dropped his head. He was being really unreasonable, he knew that.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said simply, not facing her, still looking at the floor.  
  
"I'm off in 15 minutes. Wait here and we can go home together."  
  
"You sure?" He asked surprised, turning to face her.  
  
She still stood leaning against the side with her arms tightly crossed.  
  
"Of course. Don't go anywhere."  
  
She walked out leaving him feeling pretty stupid and embarrassed. Yeah it was stupid to just turn up, but he needed to get out. Staying at home moping around didn't help, no matter what people said, he needed to be doing something to get his mind off Gamma. He sighed and threw his bag onto the couch, collapsing onto it afterwards and closing his eyes.  
  
Half an hour later Abby walked through the lounge doors huffing and puffing. She'd been pulled into a trauma when she was just getting off. Typical. Carter would be really pissed now. She walked in, expecting to get an earful from her less than reasonable husband, but found him sleeping on the couch. Her heart melted, right then and there. She sat cautiously down onto the couch next to him, and he opened his eyes slightly.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
"You're okay. Get in here." He said as he lifted his arm slightly, motioning for her to lean onto him.  
  
She moved over so she was lying against him, one of his legs was on the couch, the other on the floor supporting them. She lay down onto his chest, surprisingly comfortable.  
  
"You cold?" He said when he felt her shiver.  
  
"A little."  
  
He leaned behind him and grabbed his coat he had taken off at the beginning of the shift and flung it over her body. She cuddled up under the coat and closed her eyes slowly. A few minutes later, they were both asleep on the couch together. Outside at the admit area, Weaver was asking Susan if she'd seen Abby leave yet, but Susan shook her head and carried on filling in her charts, not bothering to look up.  
  
"Susan. I need to speak with Abby. You haven't seen her?"  
  
"No Kerry..I just told you. I have not seen Abby. See? Not seen her?"  
  
Kerry rolled her eyes and looked around, trying to search out Abby. Susan looked up to see Kerry still looking for her.  
  
"Oh my God Kerry do you have to stand right there? It's distracting." She said slightly annoyed, slamming her pen down on the desk and walking off towards the lounge.  
  
She walked in and straight towards the coffee machine.  
  
"Just what the doctor ordered." She smiled to herself. "See I am funny Mitch." She said to herself as she poured the coffee into her cup and turned around stirring it carefully.  
  
She stopped in her tracks when she saw the sight of Carter and Abby asleep on the couch wrapped in each others arms.  
  
"The honeymoon's over guys." She said silently, grinning to herself. They were so made for each other it was annoying! Susan walked over to the door and called out to Weaver quietly who was still standing at the admit desk looking around, for Abby probably.  
  
"Kerry. Get over here. I found Abby."  
  
Weaver walked over quickly, Susan was useful sometimes.  
  
"Abby I've been look.." She broke off when she walked in and saw the couple lying there. "Oh jeez."  
  
"Awww they look so cute, can't you just leave them for a bit?" Susan asked, it was like they were watching a baby sleep.  
  
"Well I wanna sit down. And so do you. And they are on the couch."  
  
Kerry reached out her crutch and poked Abby's leg slightly.  
  
"Carter stop." She said half sleeping and moved so her face was covered by Carter's arm.  
  
Susan and Kerry laughed a little and Kerry began poking Carter.  
  
"Abby.." He whined slightly as he moved his leg around trying to shake off whatever was touching him.  
  
He turned over so he was completely protecting Abby who was now lying next to the back of the couch and he laid his arm over her.  
  
"Kerry just go for the subtle touch." Said Susan smiling.  
  
"What subtle touch?" Kerry asked laughing slightly.  
  
"Carter! Abby!"  
  
The two opened their eyes suddenly and Carter jumped up leaving Abby disoriented on the couch.  
  
"What?! What's happened?!" He asked worriedly.  
  
"Nothing. We wanted to sit down." Said Kerry simply. "And I need to talk to Abby."  
  
Carter decided it was best to get out of the situation as fast as possible, he'd already been caught with his pants down once, he didn't want to relive the night mare of the embarrassment afterwards. Not that they were doing anything anyway, they were just sleeping. He walked behind Susan and hid until Kerry and Abby had walked out, Abby winking at him on her way.  
  
"So sleepy head what's goin' on?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You and Abby are both really tired. All nighter was it?!"  
  
"Susan! Of course not, I didn't know Abby was tired actually. I haven't slept for a while."  
  
"Hmm. That's a shame."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"Well I was gonna ask you two out tonight but if you're tired then.."  
  
"Depends where you wanna go!"  
  
"Just for a meal or something. You can decide where if you want."  
  
"Just us three?"  
  
"Four."  
  
"Four."  
  
"Yeah four."  
  
"Who's the fourth? I thought there were only three musketeers."  
  
"Yeah well it's kinda back into a four now."  
  
"Back into a.oh. Luka."  
  
"Is that okay?"  
  
"Oh I don't know Susan..it's kinda weird."  
  
"Oh come on please?!"  
  
Carter turned around from the table he was leaning on and looked at Susan. Why was she so desperate for Luka to come anyway? They'd never been friends before.  
  
"Why do you want him there anyway?"  
  
"Just. Because."  
  
"Because?"  
  
"It'll be fun come on Carter..I know you haven't been out for a while."  
  
"Fine. But no embarrassing stories about my med student days okay?"  
  
"I would never do that!"  
  
"Oh yeah sure."  
  
"What time do you want us to come over?"  
  
"Oh you're coming over now?!"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"And 'us'?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"There's somethin' goin' on I know it."  
  
"No there is not!"  
  
"I know you Susan. Look me in the eye and tell me there's nothing going on and I might consider believing you."  
  
"Well I can't do that."  
  
"Because there's something goin' on?!"  
  
"Noooo, because I don't know myself."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Just give me some time. I'll tell you when I know. I gotta talk to Abby first."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cos I want to know how she feels about it."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"I gotta talk to Abby too actually."  
  
"What about?"  
  
"Just stuff."  
  
"Like what stuff?"  
  
"Just stuff!"  
  
"Come on Carter no secrets!"  
  
"What so you're allowed secrets and I'm not?!" He laughed pushing her away as she tried to poke him, maybe the secret would fall out if she did it hard enough.  
  
"Please?! I said I didn't know about Luka. You know what's going on. So tell me!"  
  
"That's what I gotta talk to Abby about."  
  
"You haven't told me yet!"  
  
"Yeah cos I need to know if she wants everyone to know yet!"  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She's pregnant!"  
  
"No! I wish. I mean no not that."  
  
"You wish huh?!"  
  
"I didn't mean that."  
  
"Sure you didn't. You've only wanted a baby for about 5 years."  
  
"Have not!"  
  
"Have too."  
  
"So have you."  
  
"Actually no I haven't!"  
  
"Oh you have. So if the opportunity came then you wouldn't want it?!"  
  
"No."  
  
Carter lifted his eyebrows at her, both knew she wanted a baby ever since Susie.  
  
"Okay maybe just a little."  
  
"See I knew it!"  
  
"You want one too."  
  
"Okay you got me."  
  
"I think you'd be cute as a Dad."  
  
Susan went over and sat down on the couch clutching the coffee she'd been making. Carter followed and sat down next to her. They hadn't had a proper chat for ages, it was nice. Carter had forgotten how well he got on with Susan, through everything she had always been a good friend to him. She even came to Gamma's funeral even though Gamma didn't think much of Susan and she knew it.  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What Abby doesn't want kids?"  
  
"We haven't really discussed it." He looked away, it reminded him of what could have been, he had forgiven Abby for everything, but it still hurt to think about it, and what he could have had.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something's happened." Why could Susan tell so much from his face? "I know you Carter."  
  
"Yeah but it was ages ago."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come on I don't wanna talk about it."  
  
"I think I already know Carter."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Abby told me."  
  
"When?!"  
  
"After she'd done it."  
  
"She didn't tell me."  
  
"She was upset. She didn't want you to find out."  
  
"Well that was a given."  
  
"She was so upset about everything. She regretted it."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"Of course. I already knew about Richard, and I guess she thought it would be like it was before with him. But then afterwards she thought about it more, and realised you were different."  
  
"And it was too late."  
  
"Yeah. She felt really bad. I'd never seen her cry before."  
  
"She cried in front of you?"  
  
"Well yeah. I shouldn't be telling you this."  
  
"No it's okay. I guess I can tell you now."  
  
"Ahhh the secrets are all coming out now!"  
  
"Yeah quiet or I won't tell you!"  
  
"Fine. Sorry." She grinned and took another sip of coffee waiting for his explanation.  
  
"Abby and I..we. On our vacation, we."  
  
"Come on!"  
  
"We got married." 


	25. Family Portrait Part Two

Chapter Twenty Four - Family Portrait - Part Two  
  
Susan was about to take another gulp when he said it. She looked shocked.  
  
"Oh my God! That is so great! Why didn't you tell me?!" She put her cup down on the floor and got up to hug Carter. "And you didn't invite me?!"  
  
"We were miles away you couldn't have got there."  
  
"Oh forget it. This is so great. Who else knows?"  
  
"Just you. And Abby. And Gamma knew."  
  
"Aww that's great. It's nice she knew. What did she say?"  
  
"That she was happy for me. We got her blessing."  
  
"Lucky you didn't marry me huh?!"  
  
"Oh you weren't that high on her hate list."  
  
"I wasn't?!"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Yeah just below Satan."  
  
Carter laughed and then it was silent.  
  
"I can't believe you got married. Wait till I see Abby."  
  
"Yeah I was gonna say where has she got to?"  
  
"Weaver's probably tied her up."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Susan laughed as she picked up her coffee from the floor.  
  
"Another torture session."  
  
"Ahhh."  
  
Just then, Abby walked in looking really pissed off.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Weaver's put me on a double tomorrow night."  
  
"But you're off till then?" Asked Carter again.  
  
"Yeah why?"  
  
"Cos we're going out tonight."  
  
"Just us?!"  
  
"No. Susan and Luka."  
  
"Oooh Luka huh? So you finally asked him?!"  
  
Carter looked stunned as Abby began asking Susan questions about Luka and what had happened when she asked him out.  
  
"I didn't ask him. HE asked me."  
  
"Really?! That's great."  
  
Carter still stood slightly amazed Abby was acting like this as the two gossiping women sat down and began chatting again.  
  
"Wait so you knew about this?"  
  
"Of course I knew." Said Abby.  
  
"Well why did you say you needed to ask Abby?!" He asked Susan who was smiling, trying desperately not to laugh.  
  
"I wanted to know your secret!"  
  
"So you lied?!"  
  
"I didn't lie. I just stretched the truth. I wanted to tell her about it, but not ask her permission."  
  
"Yeah sure." He said a bit miffed and turned to get himself a coffee. "You want one?" He said directing the question at Abby who sat smiling next to a grinning Susan.  
  
"Uh.decaf."  
  
"Decaf?!"  
  
"What?" She asked confused.  
  
"You usually go for the strong stuff that's all."  
  
"Just fancy some decaf that's all."  
  
Susan nudged Abby in the side once Carter had turned away and gave her an inquisitive look.  
  
"What?" Abby whispered.  
  
"Decaf?!" She whispered back.  
  
"So?!"  
  
"Hmmm." Susan said, her eyes rolling as she took one last sip of her coffee.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Abby said jokingly.  
  
"Never mind. Just something we were talking about before you came back. What did Weaver want anyway?"  
  
"Just a record of all the nurses who want extra leave for Christmas."  
  
"Sounds like fun."  
  
"Non stop. So what's happening tonight?"  
  
"Me and Luka are coming over about..8 was it Carter?"  
  
"What?" He said as he carried on his battle with the coffee machine.  
  
"Tonight."  
  
Oh yeah whatever."  
  
"Ignore him." Abby said as she fiddled with her hands on her lap.  
  
"Is something goin on?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Tension kinda overflowing the room right now." Susan whispered again.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You wanna talk about it?"  
  
"I'm gonna go upstairs and get some coffee this machine's whack." Carter announced angrily as he walked out leaving Susan and Abby alone.  
  
"So. What's the deal?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Come on Abby. I know when something's wrong. I knew something was wrong with Carter. Fixed that one alright."  
  
"I didn't even know there was something wrong."  
  
"It wasn't that major."  
  
"What was it?"  
  
"He wants a baby."  
  
Abby looked at Susan, she didn't know what to make of that. He was talking to Susan about wanting a baby, why didn't he just go to Abby about it? She wasn't mad, she was just confused. Remember Abby, asking questions gives you answers.  
  
"Why did he talk to you about it?"  
  
"Uh.I guess."  
  
"I didn't mean it like that, I mean why hasn't he asked me? I'm not gonna bite his head off."  
  
"He probably didn't wanna upset you. With what's happened I think he's just finding it hard to talk about it with you."  
  
"Well it's gonna be difficult whatever the situation is."  
  
"Give him a break, he was only doing it so you wouldn't be upset."  
  
"What should I say?"  
  
"Well why mention it? You don't want a baby, he does, you should leave it."  
  
"I don't know it just feels like I should talk to him about it."  
  
"It's up to you, but I wouldn't trouble myself with it if you don't want it then why bother?"  
  
Abby looked away, Susan knew something was troubling her but she couldn't just ask out of the blue like that. But after being friends with Abby for a while, she could tell when there was something she wanted to say but couldn't, probably pride, Susan figured as she debated whether to ask Abby what was wrong or not.  
  
"So I'm guessing it's not just a one sided thought."  
  
"What?" Abby said as she turned back to Susan after staring at the lockers for a while.  
  
"He's not the only one who wants to start a family."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You don't sound too sure."  
  
"We talked about it on holiday a little. About the abortion and everything. I told him I wasn't ready for kids, but now I think about it, I am ready. And besides, there's nothing left for us to do."  
  
Abby stopped suddenly and then began trying to pretend she didn't mean that.  
  
"I mean, not as far as we can go but almost."  
  
"He told me."  
  
"Told you what?"  
  
"I've been waiting for you to tell me but I can't pretend I don't know anymore."  
  
Abby looked at her smiling slightly, trying not to let the grin spread across her face.  
  
"When did he?!" She suddenly said smiling.  
  
"Before you came back! You are such a dark horse! I can't believe you didn't invite me!"  
  
"I know I'm sorry!"  
  
Abby hugged Susan, it was nice to finally have a girlfriend she could be this easy with. She never liked Susan at first, but then she saw how good she was to Carter, she can't be all that bad. And she wasn't, she was one of the most loyal friends she'd ever had.  
  
"It's so great though I'm really happy for you two."  
  
"Thanks. I wanted you to be there but we couldn't."  
  
"Yeah I was just kidding. You told Weaver yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So have you told anyone yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Abby! It's not a huge secret it's a great thing!"  
  
"I know but it's been difficult."  
  
"Are you having a party?"  
  
"I don't know we haven't really talked about it. I mean we got back to the house and were about to go to bed, for the first time there and then Carter's Mom came so we came straight here. We haven't really talked about anything else for four days."  
  
"I see. Why don't you ask him?"  
  
"Can you see Carter up for a party?!"  
  
"Well I am, and so are you by the sounds of it. I'll ask him."  
  
"Ha you'll ask him?!"  
  
"Sure. He can't be rude to me I'm not MARRIED to him!"  
  
"Stop with that it's embarrassing!"  
  
"I think it's sweet. How can you be embarrassed anyway, his family's worth God knows how much!"  
  
"That's not why I married him remember." Abby said winking as they both laughed. 


	26. Family Portrait Part Three

Chapter Twenty Four - Family Portrait - Part Three  
  
"So you're gonna ask my husband to have a party at my house?"  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
"Sounds great. As long as you say it was all your idea and I had nothing to do with it?"  
  
"Sure. When do you want it?"  
  
Abby looked up in her 'thinking' position and thought about it.  
  
"Wouldn't it be great for a New Years Eve party?"  
  
"Yeah! I can't believe I didn't think of that!"  
  
"More to me than meets the eye!"  
  
"Obviously." Susan laughed as they giggled together like school girls arranging a bunk off school or something equally lame.  
  
"When are you gonna ask him?"  
  
"When he comes back." Susan replied simply.  
  
"Make sure I'm not here!"  
  
"No you've got to be so you can back me up!"  
  
"Uh! Fine."  
  
"So we were getting onto something else before we got sidetracked by parties and celebrating your MARRIAGE!"  
  
Abby rolled her eyes at Susan, and Susan laughed, she knew just how to wind up Abby, but not in an annoying way so it was still funny.  
  
"You were about to tell me about the family."  
  
"I was?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay. Um.there's nothing to say about it."  
  
"Why did you ask for decaf?"  
  
Abby looked away, this was not happening.  
  
"Cos sometimes I prefer decaf." Abby smiled falsely at Susan, it was so obvious to her Abby was lying.  
  
"Come on Abby tell me! I'm your friend I want you to be able to trust me."  
  
Abby looked at Susan, she was a genuine friend, but she didn't know if she was ready to talk about it yet. She wasn't sure for herself so to tell somebody else about it didn't seem like such a good idea.  
  
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me. But if you wanna talk to somebody besides Carter, you know where I am."  
  
"Thanks. I will it's just..I gotta sort it out first I guess."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Susan got up and threw the rest of her second cup of coffee away.  
  
"It was cold. And I gotta get back to work."  
  
"Good luck."  
  
"Thanks. See around seven tonight then?"  
  
"Yeah what's happening with that?"  
  
"Luka and I are coming to your place before we go out to dinner."  
  
"Sounds great. IF you see Carter tell him to hurry up."  
  
"Sure. See you later!"  
  
Susan smiled at Abby and walked out the lounge leaving Abby to herself. Susan was sweet, too sweet to her. She didn't know she could have a husband this great and a friend this great. It was like when she found out about the whole drinking loop..she didn't push her into talking about it. She just offered her support and told her if she needed her then she'd be there. It really comforted her to know she was there and Carter wasn't the only one she could talk to about stuff like that. She smiled to herself as Carter burst into the lounge.  
  
"Machine upstairs is broken too. Technology these days isn't all it's cracked up to be." He murmured as he pulled on his jacket off the chair and turned to face Abby.  
  
"Forget it. You ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah. Where's Susan?"  
  
"She had to get back to work. They're coming over at seven tonight."  
  
"What time is it now?"  
  
"Half one."  
  
"So we've got a few hours."  
  
"Yep. What do you fancy doing?"  
  
"I don't mind. Anything come to mind?"  
  
"Well I do need a new pair of sneakers. These things are so old there are holes in the sole."  
  
"Let's go then."  
  
He reached out for Abby's hand and pulled her up. They walked out hand in hand towards the doors.  
  
"Carter!" Shouted a voice from behind them.  
  
"Great." He mumbled to Abby as he turned around to face the voice.  
  
"You're on at four tomorrow. You too Abby."  
  
"I thought I was on at 9?"  
  
"I changed it. You're doing a double."  
  
"Kerry I was doing a six hour shift and now I'm doing a double?!"  
  
"Pratt's gone AWOL and Chuny's got the flu. She won't be back for a couple of days. So you've both gotta cover. I'm sorry but that's what you gotta do if you're Chief Resident and Nurse Manager."  
  
"Yeah great. Thanks Kerry." Abby said quietly.  
  
Abby clung to Carter's hand squeezing it, he knew she was getting mad.  
  
"Okay see you later." Carter announced as he turned and pulled Abby out the doors.  
  
"God what a bitch!" Abby said loudly as the doors closed behind them and they began walking towards the car.  
  
"Forget about it. At least we'll be on at the same time. I'm sure we could find a few minutes to be together." He said winking at her.  
  
"What makes you think I'd want to stop getting puked on to join you in a quick fumble in the medicine cabinet?!"  
  
"Uh..the fact that you always try and get me in there every shift kinda gives it away."  
  
"I resent that!"  
  
"You might, but it's still true."  
  
Abby looked at him as he opened her door and she got in. Carter smiled at her teasingly and walked round to the other side to get in.  
  
"So where to?"  
  
"The mall."  
  
"Mall it is."  
  
They drove to the mall and into the car park. It was pretty empty which was good because Abby would get frustrated when it was busy.  
  
"It's not busy. That's good." Abby said.  
  
"I knew you'd say that." Said Carter laughing.  
  
"That's cos you know me too well." She said smiling at him, leaning over for a quick kiss before they got out the car.  
  
They walked inside the mall and into the department store. Rails upon rails of clothes caught Abby's eye, but they were here for sneakers she kept reminding herself as they passed the designer labels and fancy sections. They finally found the sneakers department, and Abby picked out the ones she liked.  
  
"I like them." Carter said simply as she tried on the first sneaker.  
  
"Me too." Abby said as she put on the second one.  
  
"You want them then?"  
  
"Yeah I got it."  
  
"No it's okay. My treat."  
  
"I knew there was a reason I married you!" She said sarcastically as she took them off and put them back in the box.  
  
"So you're having these then?" Asked the assistant.  
  
"Yeah they're fine." Carter replied as the woman waited for an answer.  
  
"What now?" Abby asked as she tied up her laces on her old shoes.  
  
"You want anything else?" Carter asked interested.  
  
"Too much to ask." She replied simply as she stood up and grabbed his hand.  
  
Carter smiled as she pulled him to the cashier's desk. He paid for the trainers and they left the shop. As they passed through the mall, no words were spoken, well not really. If they were then they were one word questions followed by one word answers. It was a comfortable silence, which both of them enjoyed when there was one. Most of the time they had so much to tell each other there was never silence, but now, there was, and they liked it. Carter was thinking about the baby. Abby was thinking about the baby, and as fate would have it, they soon passed a baby shop. Abby glanced in as they slowly walked past and saw the display in the window. An old fashioned carriage with an umbrella and loads of toys all around. It looked so nice to her, she had never really looked at a baby shop before, but for the first time, it didn't scare her. She stopped. She just wanted to have a look. Just for a while. Carter had seen her looking with much interest at the shop and wondered what was going through her mind. She walked slowly towards the window, letting go slightly of Carter's hand in case he didn't want to walk with her, but he did. He grabbed onto it tighter and walked behind her. She smiled as they got closer, he wanted to look too.  
  
"Beautiful aren't they?" She said whispering, it was like she didn't want to disturb the display.  
  
"Yeah they are." He replied, also as amazed by the little contraptions and the tiny little extras placed strategically all around the window.  
  
It was a beautiful presentation, and you could tell a lot of effort had gone into creating it. Abby wondered if she could ever have something like this, the beautiful carriage, the umbrella, the fancy wardrobes and drawers for all the baby clothes. She wondered if she'd ever go shopping for baby clothes, or if she'd ever buy cuddly toys to put in the baby room. She wondered a lot. Carter wondered the same. He wanted to know what she was thinking, and this time, the look on her face wasn't enough. He couldn't read this situation like normal, which frustrated him, but at the same time made him curious as to what she was feeling. It was a new look she had, which meant it was a new feeling. It wasn't a shy look, it wasn't a depressed look, it was a wondrous look. Like she'd just seen something so great that no words could explain. It fascinated him. It fascinated her. Her with the window. Him with her and the window.  
  
Minutes passed, and no words had been said since the beautiful comment. They stood together, hands held, breathing sporadically, not like normally in sync with each other, or at the same time. Each was nervous about what to say. They knew it brought back painful memories, but it brought happy thoughts about what could be. This led to Carter making a decision. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. This was it.  
  
"Do you want a baby?"  
  
Silence. It was killing him. Silence. It always killed him. Why couldn't she just talk? Silence. He wouldn't mind so much if she just answered! Silence. She was really killing him now. No more silence. She speaks.  
  
"Yeah." She said smiling in that way she did that make him shiver as she turned her attentions to him, away from the window of wonder.  
  
"Really?" He said calmly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"Yeah. Really." She said again, repeating to confirm.  
  
It was easier than she thought. She had imagined this moment, discussing having a baby and then actually doing it. And she never imagined it would feel like this. She was happy. So so happy. And he knew. He always knew.  
  
That night, they made love. For the first time in their new home, they made love. And it wasn't just sex, it was for love. For truth. For honesty. For trust. For everything. For eternity. It might not have created something, but if it did, then great. If it didn't, that was fine too. They knew there would be so many other times where they would make love. They weren't in a hurry to have a baby, if it happened, it happened. And if not, then that was fine too. They knew there wouldn't be a problem creating, but it was a guessing game. When. 


	27. Game of Love

"So what do we have?" Said Susan sighing as she stood looking at the board.  
  
"A cracked rib in two, absyss of the rectum on three and a hypochondriac with wax in their ears in four."  
  
"Oh my God. Could this day get any worse?" She replied to Luka who was standing next to her with a frown spread across his worn face.  
  
"You look tired." He commented to her.  
  
"You too." She replied, both still looking at the board.  
  
"It was a long night last night."  
  
"I can see."  
  
"Not in that way. I'm not sleeping well recently."  
  
"Me neither." She answered as they both turned their backs to the board and sighed simultaneously.  
  
Susan yawned and then looked up at Luka who was smiling at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're pretty when you yawn."  
  
"What and I'm not pretty all the time?!" She replied sarcastically as she walked past him to search through more patient files.  
  
"That's not what I meant." He sighed as he followed her over.  
  
"God this pile is huge."  
  
"You should see mine."  
  
"If it's bigger than mine I'd be very surprised."  
  
"Prepare to be surprised." He said as he reached over and stacked a huge load of files on top of hers.  
  
"Okay..you've got a few."  
  
"You call that a few?!" He said surprised.  
  
"It is a lot."  
  
"Yep. All to be done by the end of the week."  
  
"Oh God, mine too."  
  
They both rolled their eyes and sighed again, they seemed to be doing that a lot recently.  
  
"What do you say we get together tonight, have a drink at my place and do our charts together?" Susan said randomly as they still stood contemplating doing some work.  
  
"Sounds great." He said still not looking as if he was going to do anything.  
  
"Luka! Susan! Find some patients!" Shouted Weaver from behind them.  
  
"Duty calls. I'll see you later?"  
  
"Sure. What time?"  
  
"Uh..about 7? I finish at 5. What about you?" She asked as she began walking away backwards.  
  
"5. I'll be there at 7."  
  
"Great." She said smiling as she walked off down the hall.  
  
Luka turned his attentions back to his files and sighed again rubbing his face with his hands. He smiled slightly to himself, it felt good to be getting out of the flat for a night but not really going out officially. The thought of an evening with Susan sounded very tempting, and it didn't worry him about conversation, he knew she always had something to talk about.  
  
"Hot date?" He heard a voice ask from behind him as he slouched more into his files.  
  
"We're just friends Abby." He replied to the familiar tiny voice who had now moved around in front of him.  
  
"I know!" She replied in that sarcastic happy tone she always did.  
  
"Say it."  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"What you're thinking."  
  
"I wasn't thinking anything."  
  
"Sure." He said as he carried on studying his notes.  
  
She looked at him in a strange way and then went about her work. Later on, Susan and Abby were having lunch at Doc's discussing an earlier patient.  
  
"And then he just took them off and started dancing around the gurney!"  
  
"Oh my God! What did you do?!" Abby replied laughing.  
  
"What could I do?! I just waited for him to finish his rundown of Onward Christian Soldiers and then helped him get into a gown!"  
  
They both laughed furiously for a while and then the laughter faded down and Susan wiped her eyes from the tears that had formed. Being an ER doctor wasn't great at the best of times, but sometimes it was moments like that, that reminded her why she became one in the first place.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder why I even do this job!" She laughed. "But then I realise my life would be pretty average unless I had an old veteran singing to me naked round a bed!"  
  
"So true!" Abby replied laughing again.  
  
"Refill?" Interrupted the waitress who stood next to their booth chewing gum looking really pissed off.  
  
"Uh.no I'm okay." Replied Susan.  
  
Abby shook her head and then gave Susan a funny look as the waitress walked away.  
  
"What jumped up her ass and died?" Asked Abby quietly.  
  
"God knows." Susan took another sip of her half empty coffee and looked out the window. "I wonder if there's ever been a Winter here when it hasn't snowed." She said simply.  
  
"Doubtful. I like snow. It makes it feel like Christmas."  
  
"Yeah I like it, but I just wondered." She sighed again.  
  
"You okay?" Abby asked suddenly.  
  
"Yeah why?"  
  
"You just seem a little.off."  
  
"No I'm okay. Just got so much work at the moment. I wonder sometimes where it all came from."  
  
"Know that feeling." Abby drank the rest of her tea and then folded her arms, waiting to ask the question that had been on her mind the whole time.  
  
"So what are you up to tonight?" Asked Abby suddenly. Suttle.  
  
"Uh.Luka's coming over."  
  
"Really?" She asked, pretending mercilessly to be surprised.  
  
"Yeah. It's not what you think, we're just friends."  
  
"That's funny."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"That's exactly what he said."  
  
"Well then it just proves it then doesn't it!"  
  
"Proves what?"  
  
"That whatever you're thinking isn't what's going on!"  
  
"I didn't say anything!"  
  
"You didn't have to."  
  
"I'm just.never mind."  
  
"I'm a big girl Abby."  
  
"Just be careful. He's not the most reliable person at the moment. He's pretty unpredictable lately."  
  
"I know. But there's nothing goin' on so I'm not worried."  
  
"I'm just warning you. But, saying that, you could tame him!"  
  
"When did we ever say we were even goin' out?!"  
  
"You didn't have to."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" She said smiling.  
  
"Oh come on! I've seen the way you two look at each other! You're both so transparent!"  
  
"Is it that obvious?!"  
  
"Just slightly!"  
  
"God not everybody knows do they?"  
  
"Well he doesn't know you like him."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Not if you wanna date him!"  
  
"I never said that!"  
  
"Yeah yeah."  
  
"There's no chance for us. He likes brunettes."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure. And plus he's told me he likes you."  
  
"When?!" She laughed slightly then turned serious once she heard of this 'news'.  
  
"I can't remember. He didn't say he liked you directly, but he seems to talk about you a lot. And always drops you into the conversation."  
  
"Lucky me."  
  
"Seriously Susan, he thinks quite highly of you I think."  
  
"Good to know."  
  
"Well whatever happens you know I'll be here for whatever."  
  
"I know. Thanks."  
  
Susan squeezed Abby's hand and then downed the rest of her coffee.  
  
"You're lonely. I can tell." Abby said as Susan finished.  
  
"I'll be okay."  
  
"If you ever need to talk. You know where I am."  
  
"Yeah. Sure." Susan smiled and then got up to put on her coat.  
  
"What time are you off?"  
  
"5. You?"  
  
"9. God I hate this place." Abby muttered.  
  
"Have fun. See you later." Susan smiled and then walked out of Doc's and across to the ER.  
  
Abby sat and thought for a while, Susan wasn't happy. She could tell. They hadn't been great friends for long, but she could already tell her mood and how she was feeling. She just wanted her to be happy. She wanted Luka to be happy too, maybe each other was just what they needed. If it wasn't, she didn't know what the solution was. But she knew Susan felt alone, you just had to look at her face. Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice from behind her.  
  
"You know thinking so much can make you age quicker."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Uh huh." Said the voice as it moved in front of her, leaning over the table for a quick peck on the lips.  
  
"Hey." Abby said smiling.  
  
"Good morning." He replied smiling and looking over the menu. "Did you just have coffee with Susan?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"She okay?"  
  
"Yeah why wouldn't she be?"  
  
"I dunno, she just seems a little, down in the dumps."  
  
"Yeah. I asked her about it. She didn't really wanna talk about it."  
  
"That's weird."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"Usually she's good about stuff like that. I mean she doesn't hide it."  
  
"Yeah I kinda got that impression that why I was worried about it."  
  
"Why don't you go out tonight or something? Maybe she'll talk about it with a few drinks thrown her way."  
  
"She's busy tonight. I already asked."  
  
"Oh. Doing what?!"  
  
"Don't sound so surprised!"  
  
"I'm not, but usually she's busy with you and Chen."  
  
"She's seeing Luka."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
Carter looked up from the menu, eyebrows high looking surprised as ever.  
  
"A date?!"  
  
"Apparently they are just 'friends'" She motioned holding her fingers up doing the Mini Me sign.  
  
Carter smiled and returned to the menu.  
  
"Well maybe they are."  
  
"How do you figure?"  
  
"Well she's never really shown interest in him before. And she's friends with me and we're not dating."  
  
"Yeah that's cos I'd kill her."  
  
"And plus I'm in love with you."  
  
"Well there's that too."  
  
They laughed and then went silent, both wondering what was really going on between the two.  
  
"I'll ask her tomorrow."  
  
"Make sure she's okay." Said Carter sincerely, he really did care what happened to Susan, and how she felt.  
  
"I will."  
  
"Any thoughts on the problem yet? Or just a huge mystery?"  
  
"She's lonely." Abby said exasperatingly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Susan. Lonely."  
  
"Yeah I know what but I mean, she's never lonely, she's just.Susan."  
  
"Yeah and maybe she's even more alone than most people because people have that attitude."  
  
"What attitude?"  
  
"The attitude where you expect her to be okay just because she's always making sure everyone else is."  
  
"Oh. I guess."  
  
"It's true. People forget to make sure she's okay cos they're so busy thinking about themselves."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I wanna help her John. She's a really good friend, I hate seeing her like this."  
  
"Is she really that bad?"  
  
"Think Weaver, but at Christmas."  
  
Carter stopped looking over the menu again and looked up at Abby's concerned face.  
  
"Yeah, it's that bad."  
  
"I didn't know." He said blankly.  
  
"She'll be okay. But if she looks like she needs someone, don't hold back."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I knew there was a reason I married you!" Abby said reaching over and grabbing his chin playfully.  
  
"So what are you having?"  
  
"Oh no I'm good. I've gotta get back."  
  
"Great I come over to see my wife and she runs off when I arrive!"  
  
"We've been here five minutes already Carter. And plus, I've already had something with Susan."  
  
"Well..I'll catch you later then." He pouted and then looked out the window, trying to make her stay.  
  
"It won't work John. I wised up to you a long time ago. And you, well you're still.."  
  
"..learning. I know. See you later honey." He interrupted and leaned over to kiss her goodbye as she rushed off back to the ER vortex. 


	28. You Set Me Free Part One

Chapter Twenty Six - You Set Me Free  
  
"Can't you seeeeeee, there's a feeling that's come over meeeee! Close my eyes..you're the only one that leaves me, completely breathless..." Sang Susan at the top of her lungs to Michelle Branch as she lazed around in the bathtub.  
  
It was already half past six and she was still in the bath, but she was never really a worrier about being late so she decided to enjoy it while the water was still hot.  
  
"Cos IIIIIIIIIIIII, wanted to fly so you gave me your wings. And IIIIIIIIIIII, held my breath so I could seeeeee yeah you set me free!" She carried on, deafening the entire of Chicago in the process.  
  
She was nervous, she didn't know why, but it was weird that Abby had made such a big deal about Luka coming over. She never thought it was anything to be worried about, they were friends and that was it. She had already decided he wasn't interested in her, so why should she bother chasing her feelings when she knew it would end in nothing. But when Abby said he liked her too, she began to think. And that was not always a good thing. She imagined what it would be like to date Luka, officially.  
  
She imagined their apartment, her side of the bed messy and his, completely in order and tidy. Her cooking as he did the washing up as they went along, giving her the occasional shoulder squeeze, or peck on the cheek as they went about their daily chores. Then before bed they would soak together in the bath, candles, bubble bath, the works. She smiled to herself, since when did she enjoy doing those things with somebody else?! It made her laugh slightly, they hadn't even kissed and she was planning their future. She didn't even know for certain if he even thought of her in any way other than platonic. She wanted more, but it was hard to open up to someone, especially someone as closed off and unreliable as him at the moment. She had always heard about and known Luka as sensitive and caring, but recently, he had been anything but. It didn't put her off, if anything it made her want him more.  
  
She had always liked the bad guys, the odd balls, the guys who didn't follow the rules and who led a new pack. She wondered where that ever got her, the only normal guy who ever loved her, or came close to loving her was Mark. And it was too late. It wouldn't have worked anyway, he was too nice, and too much of a friend for anything to happen. But as she sighed one last time before hoisting herself regretfully out the bath, she told herself not to let Luka see her hurt if he made it obvious he wasn't interested. God knows she hadn't planned to pounce on him that night, but as time went by, it seemed as though that was the only thing on her mind. She got herself out and wrapped a towel around herself as she looked in the mirror at herself before going to the bedroom to change.  
  
"God I look a mess. Thank God for make up." She said sighing as she walked into her room, towel drying her hair as she reached the wardrobe.  
  
"What to wear?" She muttered to herself quietly, when suddenly, the doorbell rung through the apartment.  
  
"SHIT!"  
  
It was him. And she was wearing a towel. A towel only. Good timing Luka. Or her. Whatever.  
  
"Hang on!!" She shouted as she searched her untidy room for her robe. Nowhere to be seen. "Great." She hurried to the door in her towel and opened it quickly, hoping it wouldn't fall. So far so good.  
  
"Hey!" She said as she tried to make her breathing steady again.  
  
"Evening." He said smirking at the woman in front of him.  
  
He watched her play with her bit of hair hanging down over her eyes and enjoyed every second of it. It was strange how on simple thing could have him mesmerized. He shook his head, relieving himself of these thoughts, thoughts he shouldn't be thinking like this on a first date with a woman he's had only a purely platonic relationship with ever since he knew her. He had never really looked at her in any other way, mainly because he was Carter's latest girl when she came back, and then she had that thing with the guy from the Lava Lounge, which he was a bit put off by, but didn't say anything. It wasn't his place to anyway. But there she stood, smiling as usual, being happy as usual, being Susan, as usual.  
  
"Hey." She repeated as he handed her the wine and walked in.  
  
"You already said that."  
  
He smiled at her and then handed over the bottle of wine he had brought along with him as she opened up the door fully for him to come in.  
  
"Thanks! You didn't have to!" She said as she took the wine.  
  
"I know. I wanted to." He said smiling as he stood waiting for her to put down the wine. "You're welcome by the way."  
  
She closed the door and placed the wine on the coffee table. There was an awkward silence, and then she decided it would break the ice to give him a welcome kiss.  
  
"Sorry." She said apologetically as she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "I forgot. Too excited about the wine!" She joked after studying her feet for some time.  
  
"It's okay. Glad you remembered." He said smiling slightly, but with a serious look in his eyes.  
  
"Can I take your coat?" She asked quickly, remembering to be polite as she studied his features.  
  
"Sure. Thanks." He said as he removed it and handed it to her. "Sit down, I'll just hang it up."  
  
He sat down, looking around the room at all her little bits and bobs, it was such a nice apartment. Nice was the word. It was so.Susan. He couldn't imagine her in any apartment other than this. Nicely decorated, candles, incense, trinket boxes and all sorts. Everything was so carefully laid out and put in it's rightful place, everything was just perfect. She always seemed like that sort of person to him, the one who always had her hair neat and tidy, no stray bits of hair, the person everyone envied with her perfection but couldn't hate her because she was such a kind person. He felt lucky to be able to spend the evening with her, actually lucky and thankful, it was strange to him that he was thankful of a woman. But pushed it to the back of his mind when he realised she was talking to him, and that he was watching her standing in front of him in a towel and he did nothing but stare with his mouth wide open. What a dork.  
  
"Hello? Anyone at home?" Susan said sarcastically as she waved her hand in front of his eyes.  
  
"What? Sorry." He said, snapping out of his trance.  
  
"I said do you want a drink?"  
  
"If that's alright please."  
  
"Of course it's alright. I gotta get dressed, the fridge is over there." She pointed to the kitchen and went to her bedroom.  
  
He laughed to himself, a woman had never offered him a drink then expected him to make it for himself. She was something else really, something good though. He got up and picked up the bottle of wine he had brought. He searched her drawers for a corkscrew and finally found one. With precision and care he opened the bottle and began his search for wine glasses.  
  
Susan smiled at herself in the mirror as she thought about the look on Luka's face when she told him to make his own drink. She knew that would confuse him slightly, but she had to get dressed. She knew he was a bit taken aback by her present attire, and her clothes weren't going to dress herself if she stayed in the lounge with him. There wasn't enough time to do her hair and make up and choose a proper outfit, and for once she felt like it didn't matter. She grabbed a loose white shirt and a pair of pants and slipped them on, not bothering with her wet hair and make up. She brushed through the wet locks and created a parting. She looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing out her shirt, then nodding to herself. She looked.surprisingly okay.  
  
"Sorry about that, typical of me to be so unorganised." Susan said as she swiftly made her entrance out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.  
  
"It's not a problem. Where are the wine glasses?" He asked as he searched through the cupboards.  
  
"Second on the left above the stove." She said as she walked over to the side and leaned against it.  
  
He had his back turned to her as he poured the dark wine into the wine glasses Carter had bought her for Christmas. He turned around with her glass and passed it to her smiling, and then picked up his, ready to make a toast.  
  
"Cheers!" She said quickly.  
  
"To us." He followed. 


	29. You Set Me Free Part Two

Chapter Twenty Nine - You Set Me Free - Part Two  
  
She looked at him strangely, then decided to ignore it and smiled as they clinked their glasses together.  
  
"Hmmm..." She mumbled in appreciation of the wine. "This is nice." She said as she put the glass down.  
  
"It's the only wine I drink. It's from Croatia."  
  
"It's really good." She said sipping some more.  
  
"We used to drink it once a week. That was our treat, we didn't have many." He said sadly, but then took another sip.  
  
"My treat was watching The Brady Bunch once a month when my Dad was mowing the lawn." She joked as she took another sip.  
  
Luka laughed at her comment, she always found a way to make a joke of things, or make things look or feel better than they should. He guessed that was why he enjoyed her company, she put things into perspective without them seeming completely dull or depressing.  
  
"Do you wanna sit down?" Susan said as she pointed to the table she had frantically set before she jumped in the bath.  
  
"Sounds good. Can I use your bathroom first?" He asked politely as he moved over to the table next to her and set his glass down.  
  
"Sure. Down the hall, last door on the right." She replied smiling.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~  
  
"I hope she'll be alright." Abby said as she paced the living room floor.  
  
"You know her, she'll be fine." Carter said uninterested as he flicked through the channels.  
  
"Yeah but come on, it's Luka.".  
  
"She'll be fine. Stop worrying you're burning holes in the carpet." He said jokingly as she gave him a glare and plonked herself down next to him on the couch.  
  
"I'm just worried about her. She seemed really distant earlier."  
  
"Okay." He said switching off the TV and slamming it down on the coffee table. "You went out with Luka right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, what was he like?"  
  
"I don't think I wanna go where this is going John.." She said worriedly.  
  
"No I'm serious. Come on Abby when you went out.."  
  
"You mean dates?" She said exasperatedly.  
  
"Yeah.was he nice?"  
  
"Of course he was nice!"  
  
"Yeah but, nice enough for Susan?"  
  
"Well..yeah."  
  
"There you go then."  
  
"What?"  
  
"If he's good enough for you, he's gonna be good enough for her. She cares about what you think, and what you don't think, so she won't be jumping into this head first. I think she's just testing the water. And plus, we don't even know if she likes him that much yet."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~  
  
"So he just ran off and left you?!" Susan said laughing.  
  
"Yes! And I was left there, holding this dirty rug and a hubble bubble in the middle of the street!"  
  
"Oh my God..people sure take you for a ride!" She said still laughing.  
  
"Well how was I supposed to know?! I was in a new country, looking for a place to stay, I needed a friend!"  
  
"So you decided to put all your trust in a black guy who lived in a box on quite possibly the wackiest street in Chicago and hold his large bong?!"  
  
"Well..yeah pretty much." He replied slightly embarrassed.  
  
She laughed again, not realising how much fun she was having. She shook her head, still not believing anybody could be so stupid as he settled down again, feeling the heat of embarrassment now as he took another sip of wine.  
  
"Did you not realise what it was?"  
  
"No. Not at first anyway. But by the time I realised he'd run off and the next thing I knew the police were there pulling me over and telling me to get my hands.." He put his wine glass down and put his hands behind his head. "..like this, behind my head. So I tried but then they said drop everything so I did and they broke and..it was just madness." He finished smiling.  
  
"You poor guy. But I still wish I could have been there."  
  
"Thanks." He said sarcastically.  
  
"The look on your face must have been a picture."  
  
"It probably was. But I was busy being pushed up against the police car to really notice!"  
  
"God I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh." She said, fighting back the laughter.  
  
"No it's okay, it was supposed to make you laugh. At the time I didn't find it funny, but you've got to laugh at these things."  
  
"Exactly. Stories like that are there to be told and then laughed at!" Susan chuckled.  
  
The laughter settled down, and there was silence as they sat enjoying each others company. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, like most, it was just easy. Susan never could stay quiet for long, but it felt right this time.  
  
"I'm enjoying being with you Susan." Luka finally spoke up.  
  
"I'm enjoying being with you too." She admitted, blushing slightly.  
  
"Would you mind if I kissed you?"  
  
"Not at all." She replied, their heads moving closer together.  
  
And so it began. A new friendship moved to a new romance, and it didn't scare either of them. 


	30. One Of Those Days Part One

Chapter Thirty - One of Those Days  
  
It had just been one of those days. You know those days where everything seems to be going wrong, and when you think it couldn't get any worse, it goes and gets worse. For Carter, the day was going fine. But for Abby things weren't anywhere near being fine. Two months had passed, Luka and Susan were still together, looking like a great couple, her and Carter were doing well at the moment and she hadn't heard from her Mother for some time. But it is true that when things are going so well, other things begin to go wrong. So far she'd been spit on, peed on and bitten. But, as usual she forgot about it and made her way home at 8. Carter was off at 10 so he'd be home soon after her and then she could forget about the day which got to her more than it should of.  
  
Key. Lock. Door. Ignition. Engine. Lights. Movement. Cars. More cars. Crash. No more lights.  
  
It all happened so fast. She'd been in the car for no longer than five minutes. It was ironic who Abby had collided with. She now had another reason to hate the IRS. She didn't know who she'd had a crash with at the time, otherwise she may have enjoyed it slightly more than she did. It was over in seconds. One minute she was motionless, then she was driving through the green lights, then.there was nothing. A quick movement and the car was half way across the road, turned upside down and basically destroyed, apart from the life that was hanging on inside.  
  
Sirens wailed from then on for a couple of hours. Rushing through Abby's head like the pounding you get when you've got a killer hangover from those tequila shots you did in a row cos the bartender decided to give you a special offer of 20 shots for 10 dollars. Those were bad memories too she remembered. She didn't know if she'd rather be having a hangover right now or to stay in the situation she was in. She was undecided for some time. But then the excruciating pain that was suddenly released from her stomach gave her her answer. Hangover anyday.  
  
"Abby? Abby can you hear me?" Said a voice which she could feel was close but felt so far away.  
  
"She's coming around. Abby? Wake up Abby we need you to speak to us." Said the other voice.  
  
They were both male that was sure. But who were they? Paramedics? Doctors? She didn't know, but she wanted to. Did she know them? All that didn't really matter to her, but she knew there was one person she wanted to see right now and he definitely wasn't here.  
  
"Where am I?" Abby managed.  
  
"You're in the ambulance right now Abby we're taking you to County. You feelin' okay?"  
  
"My stomach hurts." She said screwing up her face at a sudden jerk of the ambulance that made her stomach jab with pain.  
  
"Okay anything else? We're almost there."  
  
"Just my stomach." She said gripping it.  
  
"Lie flat." He said as she began sitting up. "Okay people let's go!"  
  
"What have we got?" Said a familiar female voice as the doors opened. "Abby!" She exclaimed.  
  
"Susan. It's my stomach. My stomach hurts." She whispered as Susan took her hand tightly and began shouting orders.  
  
"It's alright. You're gonna be alright you hear? Abby? Abby!" Susan exclaimed. "She's gone. Prep trauma one, get Carter and Doctor Kovac! Move!" She shouted as she began pushing Abby down the hall.  
  
"Susan what's going on?" Luka said as she hurried past.  
  
"Luka we need you! Get in here!" She shouted at him.  
  
Luka rushed after her and followed her into the trauma room to see Abby lying on the gurney.  
  
"Where's Carter?" He asked.  
  
"Find him." Susan replied as she began putting on her gown and gloves.  
  
Luka ran out shouting for Carter and finding nobody.  
  
"Carter!" Luka exclaimed when he found him in the suture room. "It's Abby."  
  
Carter jumped up and ran out, eventually finding Abby unconscious in trauma one.  
  
"What happened?" Carter asked as he stood motionless in the doorway.  
  
Susan's voice started fading out after a while, all he could hear was the bleeping of the monitor, and how it was getting faster and louder. His head was full of noises, some new and some familiar, but all he wanted to hear was her voice and she wasn't speaking.  
  
"Abby, Abby honey wake up for me." He said moving over to her and taking her hand. "What happened?" He asked in a daze.  
  
"There was an accident Carter. She got hit in her car." Susan said softly. "Luka get over here." She ordered as he began putting on a gown.  
  
The next hour was a daze for both Carter and Abby. But they were in it together. He didn't let go of her hand till Abby went up for surgery, but they were in for a bigger shock that they hadn't anticipated.  
  
"Carter." Susan said softly.  
  
"What?" He said not taking his eyes off Abby.  
  
"She's pregnant." Susan replied.  
  
"What?" He turned to her, stunned.  
  
"One month."  
  
"Oh my God." Was all he could manage to muster.  
  
"I just thought you'd like to know." She said smiling as they began pushing Abby towards the elevator. "Let me know how she does okay? I've got three hours left here." Susan said concerned as they got in the lift.  
  
"Thanks Susan." Carter said, in a barely audible voice as the doors closed.  
  
Susan sighed, this was going to be tough on them. She turned and saw Luka leaning against the doorframe watching her. She sighed deeply and walked towards him as he held his arms out to her.  
  
"She'll be okay." Luka comforted.  
  
She reached him and he wrapped his arms around her as she put her arms around his back and closed her eyes, wishing that the days events were just a bad dream.  
  
"I know." She replied as she breathed deeply against the warmth of his body and his chest.  
  
"When are you off?"  
  
"Three hours. You?"  
  
"Three hours."  
  
"Yours or mine?"  
  
"Yours. I'll drive you."  
  
"Thanks Luka."  
  
"I love you." He replied almost inaudibly.  
  
"What?" She said looking at him suddenly.  
  
He looked back at her and held her gaze for a while, not saying a word, but letting her know by just his eyes. She smiled slowly, and he could have sworn he saw a tear.  
  
"I love you too Luka."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ 


	31. One Of Those Days Part Two

Chapter Thirty One - One Of Those Days - Part Two  
  
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.  
  
Time goes so slowly when you're waiting. Its God's way of making you do things. For instance, realising what you have and appreciating it, learning how to be patient and most importantly, learn how to entertain yourself whilst you wait for a loved one to wake up. Time in Carter's world was always precious, but now it seemed he had reason to think like this. Abby's surgery had gone well. Now it was just time. Time was what it always was with them. Time. It sounded strange, but it was true, time was the healer in their relationship. What they had been through was enough to last a lifetime, and he knew it hadn't ended and there were still so many problems they needed to deal with. But time was their healer. Sometimes, time is all you have, or time is everything you don't want, you want things to be healed immediately and everything to be done and dusted within moments. But he had learned that life didn't work like that, and things take time. This was one of those times, and he wished to God it wasn't.  
  
Five hours out of a lifetime doesn't seem as much as it feels. But for Carter, those five hours were the longest of his life. He sat, his hands linked with one of hers, for five hours. Her life hang in the balance, and his heart beat the loudest it ever had for those hours. It was gone midnight when she eventually woke up, and he was asleep. For a few seconds, she felt like her eyes were stuck together, but after a while, they opened to a blurred room. Focus Abby. Focus. Then things began to get clearer, and soon she could see the letters on the eye test which was stuck to the wall next to the door. A private room? That was weird to her. Then she saw him. His head on the bed and his hands wrapped around her left hand. She reached across with her free right hand and began softly stroking his hair. Her slight movement was enough to wake him and without meaning to, made Abby jump as he suddenly woke up.  
  
"Hey." He said calmly.  
  
"You scared me!" She said breathing heavily and rolling her eyes.  
  
"Sorry. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I've been in a car accident."  
  
"Do you remember anything?"  
  
"Not really. I remember I was listening to the Chilli Peppers."  
  
"That's helpful." He replied sarcastically.  
  
"Is everything okay?" She asked seriously.  
  
"There internal bleeding. A broken rib pierced your kidney but mostly you've just got a few cuts and bruises. I don't know the details I haven't spoken to Susan since you came up for surgery."  
  
"But everything's alright?"  
  
"Well.there's some good news." He said, hardly managing to not smile.  
  
"What?" She asked confused.  
  
"Do you remember having stomach pains?"  
  
"Vaguely."  
  
"Well.it was the baby."  
  
"I'm."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Abby was stunned. She couldn't believe she was pregnant already. Man he was fast. Or she was really fertile. Either one. It was fast.  
  
"Susan told me before you went into surgery."  
  
"Who else knows?"  
  
"I think Luka knows, but they won't say anything."  
  
"Good." She said, trying to suppress her smile.  
  
"Are you happy?" Carter asked.  
  
"Yeah. I am." She replied.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~  
  
Susan was walking along the hall towards Abby's room hoping to find her friend up and awake rather than how she'd last seen her, unconscious and looking pretty bad. She opened the door to find Carter holding her hand and Abby smiling like anything.  
  
"What are you smiling at?!" Susan said intrigued as she walked in.  
  
"Hmm nothing." Abby said smirking.  
  
"Did you tell her?" Susan asked Carter.  
  
He smiled in return and then looked at Abby.  
  
"Congratulations Abby." Susan said embracing her friend who she'd been worrying about for hours. "How are you other than that?"  
  
"I'm kinda tired. But I'm too excited to sleep. Actually I wanna go home."  
  
"They said you'll be here a while I'm afraid." Susan said sadly.  
  
"I figured. When are you guys off?"  
  
"I finished an hour ago."  
  
"Me too." Carter said.  
  
"I wanted to stick around to make sure you were okay. Luka's waiting too." Added Susan.  
  
"You didn't have to. Thanks." Abby said warmly.  
  
At that point, a knock came at the door and Luka entered slowly, looking at Susan for the okay to come in. She smiled at him and nodded as confirmation.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Luka asked as he reached Susan.  
  
"Tired. Wanting to go home. What you'd expect." She said wearily.  
  
"Is everything..okay?" He asked, referring to the baby.  
  
"Yeah. It's all fine." 


End file.
